I keep forgetting my life is about me. Not what other people think of me.
This is a totally easy thing to do because of the interwebz. Twitter @replies, Facebook messages, Tumblr hearts – they all seem to set your self-worth. And if your page has ‘0’ likes, you take it a bit personally.
Checking Favstar. Checking how many people follow you. Am I relevant? Am I liked? Why didn’t anyone retweet me? How could only seventeen people look at the photo I just posted to Twitpic?
It really isn’t that difficult to fall into the warm embrace of praise, even on social media. Maybe especially on social media, considering it is the closest thing we ‘little people’ have to being famous. It stirs something within our brains. Neurons shoot out. Endorphins release. Norepinephrine (not to be confused with Nora Ephron, though she’s fun) is probably involved. It’s like the most ridiculous form of morphine ever, but also the most powerful because it is self created. And when it’s gone… people like Britney Spears go out and shave their heads.
I don’t really care when a follower unfollows on Twitter me unless it happens to also be a real life friend. I try not to care if something is favorited or liked or reblogged or not, but everyone does. I hope that this is reblogged about four hundred times and that at least thirty people comment about how pretty I am. That’s just life. We’re all kind of fighting for attention. Me? I’m just waiting for my Sally Field moment so I can rest assured, you like me. You really like me.
On Facebook, would ya please?
The internet just magnifies people’s self centered nature (for the most part.) in a scary way and we all turn into these narcissists with subjective personality disorder and a lot of one armed photos of ourselves. Says the girl who only ever writes about herself and has a front facing camera on her phone.
I guess what I’m saying is, don’t forget what really matters: the three friends who would totally have your back, your family (the ones that are nice to you if applicable), QVC (for me.), a sense of humor about how terrible life can be sometimes, and Nutella. If you have those things, what more do you need? I mean, other than money because, you guys, this isn’t the Oregon Trail, you can’t just trade beaver pelts for a can of corn and some dysentery anymore.
Totally baller post. The only thing I wouldn’t agree with is that you seem to like QVC more than HSN, and I just cannot concur in that judgment.
You know what, I’m gonna agree with you. Especially this year (I’m definitely a Christmas season or totally can’t sleep so I’ll turn on the TV watcher). HSN has been way better. Plus that’s definitely where I bought my Cricut from…
Oh gosh, this is so true! I’ve always wondered what magic it is that makes some people internet-famous and some people not. But I’ve learned to care less about it and focus on my physical reality, while (of course) obsessing over some witty people on the internet.
Oh yeah, that definitely happens. I think it’s a matter of setting boundaries for yourself so that you don’t go insane/get too obsessed.
I love this post! Everything you said is so true! Like sometimes I’m thinking, “Why did this person get 10 comments and I only got 2?” or “Why did 3 people heart my last tumblr post that I didn’t even think was good, but this one is awesome and no one has hearted it?!”
I agree 100% that social media increases our neuroses about what other people think about us. I think it has to do with how much instant gratification there is. If I post something on Facebook and no one has responded in an hour, I’m like “OMG, I’m not interesting!!!” We’ve become so used to immediate feedback.
I think this is true and it can really harm us in the long run. For instance, I’m graduating college very soon (like two weeks soon) and I was freaking out starting way back last May because I didn’t know what I was going to do and I didn’t have my life together already right now this very instant. I really think that it was obviously fears about graduating and making money, but also because I’m really used to things being so fast. I tweet, I get feedback. I blog, someone comments. And I have to learn to calm down and live my life in Real Time and not Internet time.
If it’s any consolation, I totally look forward to Sunday so I can read your posts! I read them every week! And, I love them. One time, I think there was a Sunday that you didn’t post, and I was quite sad. But, I know how you feel. I always want people to comment on my Facebook pictures, and all my ‘funny’ status updates. I’d also love for tons of people to love my blog…somehow I’d feel validated. We’ve all been there. I totally hear you, sister!
That’s really sweet of you to say! Thanks for commenting and reading! That post your missed was a Halloween special that ran on a Monday by the way
It was ah, controversial-ish. (By that I mean, some people read it through a feminist’s gaze instead of say… a funny essayist’s.) Here is the link in case you missed it: http://hellogiggles.com/a-sexy-essay
Stephanie! I absolutely love this! And you of course
I think it’s always important to remember that our life is ours and no one elses. Please never stop writing, kay? Thanks.
Thank you!
by the way you look a lot like Selma Blair….i met this girl at knotts berry farm in 2003 and i thought she said her idol was Selma Blair and i thought it was awesome, but then i found out that i’d heard wrong and she had said “simple plan” …
It’s difficult to remember that everybody lives in their own little worlds. Jonathan Ames once said (okay, it was Ted Danson in Bored to Death, but Jonathan Ames wrote it) that “Nobody’s really loved for themselves. All love is projection. I’m in your movie, and you’re in mine.” It’s totally true. Once a person can remember to not take things personally (easier said than done) because everybody’s actions reflect them and not you, I imagine a person could feel quite free.
Also, I haven’t gotten Selma Blair in quite a while, but I had a friend in high school who used to call me “Selma” instead of Stephanie because she thought I looked like her, too.
I can relate to this…when i joined the hellogiggles forum and wrote this funny/adorable intro paragraph about myself and nobody wanted to be my friend (and a bunch of other people wrote really boring ones and a ton of people commented on theirs and wanted to be their friend) i was so offended that i just wanted to delete my entire account (i’d already posted 50 some things) but i couldn’t figure out how. I just decided to never log back in…but i was hurt…and i shouldn’t have been because i don’t know any of them so it doesn’t really matter…
I’m on the forum as well and I think that a lot of the response has to do with when things are posted, if a lot of other posts are happening at the same time, etc. It’s not a reflection of who you are.
I like you Steph! I really really like you! (In a mocking-Sally-Field sort of way, not a psycho Internet stalker way.) Also, it’s nice to know someone else thinks of Nora Ephron when they hear norepinephrine.
Oh, thank goodness! I thought I was the only one!