LIFE LESSONS LEARNED FROM: THE NEVERENDING STORY

Trying to write an introduction to The Never Ending Story would be a little bit like trying to explain to a 92 year old scientist that you had a buddy that was a constantly LOL-ing luck dragon named Falcor. It would be long, arduous, and misunderstood (and that’s before you even attempt to address the concept of internet vernacular). But, introduction aside, this movie is pretty much the jam. Atreyu was hands down one of the top five dreamboats lining my teenage bedroom wall somewhere up there next to JTT (4ever!). And, I’m still begging for forgiveness for stealing nearly every single necklace my mother owned in order to wear an Empress-like crown to school (it never quite looked right. I still want one).

Never ending headgear envy.

But, I’m not gonna lie. This movie used to trip my little baby brain right the flip out. And, upon re-watching, I’m inclined to understand why. It was a lot more preachilicious than I remember it being. Don’t get me wrong. I love this movie. I love this movie almost more than I love cheese. And, I love cheese in a manner that even Steve Urkel himself would find revolting. I digress. Personally, I think the real heavy hitting moral of this story is that children possess an incredible ability: imagination! This power is constantly underestimated by us grown up types. It’s a strength that we’re born with. We spend the rest of our lives trying to think outside the box, but those darn kids are doing it from the minute they start yapping. As a youngster, I found that pretty empowering. Chew on that while you read the (hopefully) slightly more entertaining tid-bits I snagged from NES.

  • Let’s do ourselves a favor and take a moment to marvel at the modes of transportation utilized in Fantasia:

    Rockbiter rolls via rock bike. Naturally.

    This gentleman prefers hang-gliding bat.

    Racing snail?

    Somewhat trusty steed.

    FALCOR.

    All I’m saying is: unprecedented/very, very hip ways to reduce oil dependency.

  • A wise pointy-headed fellow asks Atreyu to go on his quest. Atreyu then proceeds to  straight up drop his tribal gear on the ground and say he’s in it to win it. Game on. Note to self: dropping your s&%* on the ground and accepting the quest at hand is a bold way to say you’re a badass who ain’t scared of nothin’. I tried this a minute ago when someone asked if they could use my bathroom. I dropped my laptop on the ground and said “GO FOR IT!” I now need a new laptop. But I looked awesome. You’re welcome.

    Wise pointy-headed fellow.

    Throwing down weapons to display intention of commitment!

  • In the Swamp of Sadness, Atreyu’s awesome horse Artex gets a little down on himself and subsequently starts to sink in the quicksand. It’s a rough area. Happy thoughts are literally vital. Kind of like Shepard’s pie day at school. You will absolutely have to survive lunch and its impending meat pie attack in order to get to the end of the day. But, it’s gonna take some seriously Spock-like mind melding capabilities to succeed. It didn’t work really out for Artex. I know a few kids that didn’t make it through Shepard’s pie day in one piece, either. But, whenever I see a swampy sand ridden area, I genuinely think happy thoughts . You may think that’s just plain ridiculous, but I’d like to present valuable evidence: I haven’t sunk yet. So… consider yourself advised.

    Artex! No! Think about oats! Or hay! Or... grass?

    Shepard's pie day.

  • Luck dragons do not take well to the post coital sneak away tactic. As seen here, Atreyu wakes to find himself spooning with a half dragon, half Cocker Spaniel type creature. Awkward. He tries the trusty ‘sneak away.’ Bad call.

    ....What happened last night?

  • Fantasia might be the only place I’ve ever heard of that will apparently annihilate you with laser beams for having crappy self-esteem. I guess it’s not a bad tactic. If that’s what gives you the swift kick in the pants to believe in yourself, then, good on ya. Or, you could run like a bat out of hell like Atreyu does here when they try to off him for doubting his worth. Also, please note the vulgarity of these murderous statues? What gives?

    *Ahem*

    Run from the fiery laser beams of self-doubt!

  • Let’s get down to the most important information I garnered from this film. Atreyu was in fact the one who invented “planking.” Proof:

    Atreyu's planking photo.

  • Basically the movie ends with a weird narrator long-windedly saying, “READ!” So, ya know. Do that. If not for your own enjoyment, do it for the Empress of Fantasia (Moonchild!?)!

    "Knowledge is power!"

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=560295292 Linda Moore

    OMG!!! I laughed out loud so many times at this post that I woke up my daughter! It was totally worth it. LOVE this movie! Btw, I thought I was the only one who did the necklace/crown thing as a child. I SO wanted one! :) Thanks for giving me big time morning chuckles! :)

  • http://www.facebook.com/thewhiteladyofrohan Jj Murrell

    one of my all time fave movies and one all should watch this made me laugh sooo much :)

  • http://www.facebook.com/cmorn Caroline Morneau

    Amazing, as always. Shannon, if you read the comments, here’s links from ASOS.com to obtain you’re headgear envy.
    http://tinyurl.com/6xjzqdn
    http://tinyurl.com/6gmzlqs
    http://tinyurl.com/5u7exe3
    http://tinyurl.com/5srx58x

  • http://www.facebook.com/passthequirks Anaïs Alexandre

    I loved this movie so much, and still do! Aw you made me wanna watch it again! I’m at work but..what the hey, right? Right?

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1080830127 Beth Curry

    This was one of my favourite movies. I still have the VHS somewhere. Time to go dig it out!

    I always wanted a Falcor of my own.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1109713948 Beth Wilde

    Yep, still one of my favourites. And Atreyu? *fans self* Him and JTT were my dream husbands (I don’t remember which I was going to marry first or if I”d heard of polygamy by this point). Your post was hilarious, and now I want a luck dragon of my own to chase down bullies with.

  • http://www.facebook.com/brittany.woodell Brittany Woodell

    Can we please not forget The Gmork… which I think gave quite a few kids some fun dreams (read: nightmares). http://www.daddyfiles.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/04/gmork.jpg

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1027576865 Frollein Schultheis

    i love this movie! when i was 14, i visited the studios in munich and took a ride on Falcor! 😀

  • http://www.facebook.com/mkeller11 Michell’ Keller

    I watched this movie so much as a kid! I was a bit in love with Bastian! He was quite the catch in D.A.R.Y.L.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=26700052 Erika Turner

    I still quote this movie all the time. The end scene with the “Say my name Bastian… please!” It gets me every time. I was crushed a few years back when someone told me that the horse died in real life during the drowning scene! Still a classic movie. The second one wasn’t that bad either had the dad from Dawson’s Creek.

  • Marianna

    Laughed out loud! I haven’t seen the movie since it came out, actually. :/ Well now I know what to do with my summer.

  • http://www.facebook.com/cammynha Cammy Swagqueen

    “Call my name, Bastian” – Extreme sexual undertones, srsly.

  • http://www.facebook.com/Choebs Claudia Bax

    Hahaha. I never looked at the movie like that. I love this movie. It’s my favorite childhood movie. Falcor was my hero (oh, how I often wanted that animal my pet and knowing full well that was impossible) and I thought the Queen was such a pretty girl. I was envious of her. Somehow, I think my love for the name Sebastian comes from this movie. I feel a rewatch coming up – and to notice the pervyness that I apparently missed when I was younger – much younger. Gosh, the childhood memories and my little squeal when I saw this pop up here. *sigh*

  • http://www.facebook.com/erinmallorylong Erin Long

    I love yelling “YOU LET THE SADNESS OF THE SWAMP GET TO YOU, YOU’VE GOT TO TRY!” I seem it helps with most situations.

    • http://www.facebook.com/erinmallorylong Erin Long

      *find it helps :)

  • http://www.facebook.com/mkelleyortiz Meghan Kelley Ortiz

    You have no idea how much of my childhood was shaped by this movie. While my husband was being forced to play Indiana and the Temple of Doom with his big brother, I was forcing (*encouraging) my siblings to play various characters from The Never Ending Story. When I was pregnant with our first child I was adamant that if it was a boy he would be named Atreyu. We never did have a boy and for that I am sure my husband is grateful.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=646050555 Miranda Robertson

    I was literally terrified of this movie when I was a child. I think I watched it an an outdoor cinema in Fiji at the age of six, and don’t remember anything about it other than quicksand and being a snotty mess of tears and fear … although, it is entirely possible that it wasn’t even the Neverending Story that they made me watch.

    I would love to read your take on an episode of Full House or Fresh Prince, on the other hand!

  • http://www.facebook.com/Jenni.Fulton Jenni Dziadyk Fulton

    Hysterical, absolutely hysterical! And right on!! I loved the movie as a child and had totally forgotten about it, thank you for the trip down memory lane!!

  • http://www.facebook.com/rebecca.mcritchie Rebecca Mcritchie

    you have to do Captain Planet or Power Rangers or Mortal Kombat or TMNT or Hocus Pocus next! mmmm 90’s classics.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1638626197 Kimberly ‘Roddy’ Jimenez

    This was my FAVORITE movie. I think I rented it enough times to pay for a few of them. I cry every time Artex sinks and I often looked for the actual Neverending Story book, like the one Bastion had??? I really want to get this on DVD… this, and The Last Unicorn were my favorites.

  • http://www.facebook.com/SarmMarie Sara Montgomery

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