LIFE LESSONS LEARNED FROM: ‘BEETLEJUICE'Shannon Woodward

As a proud member of the working mother/latch key kid generation, I have come to realize that I may not be the only one who credits many-a-90’s film/television installment with shaping my personality more than my actual DNA-sharing tribe. I’m willing to bet my over-enthusiastic childhood Troll Doll collection that my own parents would agree I was convinced I was a lot more like Buffy Summers/Angela Chase/Lydia Deets/Daria than what one time-wasting scientist might predict for the typical offspring of a figure skating coach and a software designer.

Though I’d like to believe that the tutelage stemming from these classics had a positive effect on me, no one – and I mean absolutely NO ONE – benefited from the devastatingly irreversible fashion choices made by yours truly during the high school era of my life cycle under the influence of such cinematic girl power. Going to school in South Florida sporting leather pants from The GAP will demonstratively not get you made out with. Thanks a lot, Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

I don’t think that this makes me unique. In fact, I think I smell a lot more of you lurking out there. Pungent, yet comforting, I might add. Hence the introduction of this little ol’ nostalgia series Life Lessons Learned From: ________________.

I solemnly swear that at least 90% of everything you read here will be completely and utterly useless to your every day life. And please, mofo’s, feel free to suggest future blank fillers. In the meantime: nerd alert.

 

  • Lydia Deets is basically my hero. If they had sold her red wedding dress at K-Mart, I would have worn it to every single school dance in the tri-state area. They did, however, sell the VHS, which I proceeded to wear out like a my great grandma’s favorite muumuu.  I think the real reason I’m attached to it is that there seems to be some kind of amazing message somewhere in the film that resonated with me. Even if you  don’t fit in with the people around you, like-minded people can turn up and embrace you in the most unlikely likely places. You know, like dead people in your attic.

  • Miniatures are the &%#!. I have a crush on them. A deep-seated, unhealthy crush. All of this CGI stuff we’ve been having this torrid affair with can suck it. If miniatures were to propose marriage, I would surely accept. I’d even write my own vows.

    Handbook for the Recently Deceased

  • It turns out that the only divinely written handbook on a specific subject is delivered postmortem. There goes my hope of the stork dropping off a parenting hanbook in tandem with my future offspring.

Triangular hair bits!

Attempt at creating a hip trend?

  • Yes, you CAN make triangles out of hair. No, it still does not look cool on me. Though, I would encourage you to try your own luck. Could be worth it (please send photos).
  • As I had suspected, hell is a DMV. It’s exactly the same as the one by your house. This appears to be omitted from several religious texts.

  • Agents do in fact take commission for hauntings. “Might I remind you, I am Delia’s agent. I have been losing money on her for years. If anything should happen here, I shall handle it!”
  • Catherine O’Hara is the end all be all of movie moms (among many other things). Proof:

'Orange County'

    'Beetlejuice'

    'Home Alone'

      Some solid home run’s from Delia Deets:
    • “Charles I will not stop living and breathing art just because you need to ‘relax.’ I’m here with you. I will live with you in this hell hole but you must let me express myself. If you don’t let me gut out this house and make it my own I will go insane and I will take you with me!!”
    • “This is my art! And it is dangerous! Do you think I want to die like this!?”
    • “Lydia, you have got to take the upper hand in all situations or else people whether they’re dead or alive will walk all over you.”

    • Dancing to Harry Belafonte at any point time is always the best course of action. If a friend helps you float? Well, that’s just a bonus.
    comments

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    1. I’m just so eff’n happy to see someone posting about beetlejuice, it’s just one of my fave 90′s flick of all time, i think I’m gonna watch this one again!

    2. I cannot help smiling or dancing when I hear that song !!

    3. this is amazing. i think i’ve always been inspired by most tim burton films….the older ones of course….and beetlejuice is certainly up there! love it.

    4. So I read this the other day, and came back to read it again because I LOVE that someone is documenting all the things I love about my favorite childhood movie. I won’t go into how seriously favorite, but it’s apparent you feel the same so it’s cool, right?;)

    5. Love the kmart reference.
      A little sad, though…

    6. to post a comment

    7. I watched this movie so much, the tape erased! My sister and I were convinced we were Lydia Deets, although she was far more convincing being a brunette. “I am strange and unusual”.

    8. LOVE this movie. Side note…Florida’s largest miniatures shop and museum is in Orlando and it is worth the detour from Disney.

    9. I love this movie too!!! I watch it with my cousin’s daughter when I babysit sometimes. Another childhood favorite that I’ve shared with her…CryBaby, perhaps my favorite movie of all time. lol

    10. I cannot begin to say how much I love this. Beetlejuice is my favorite movie and I plan on theming my wedding after it. Thank you for showing the same love for it as I do.

    11. Seriously just bought this for my kids about an hour ago <3

    12. Catherine O’Hara was also a one of a kind totally awesome movie mom in Penelope (which DID star Christina Ricci!) Can’t picture anyone else playing that role.

      P.S. If you’d like to see Winona Ryder AND Cristian Ricci together, watch Mermaids! One of Winona Ryder’s best.

    13. I haven’t seen this movie in embarrassingly too long.. time for a Beetlejuice night!
      suggestion for a future LIFE LESSONS post: Clueless (duh!)

    14. I love this film as well. Fantasies of being levitated and surrounded by dead football players while Shake Shake Senora is playing still plague me.

    15. This is literally my favorite movie. I am so happy this post exists.

    16. My Mom took me and my BFF to see this at the movies when I was a kid. I remember a teenager sitting behind us tugged jokingly on my ponytail and made all his friends giggle during the previews. I spent the entire movie switching back and forth form being completely freaked out by a) Beetlejuice and b) teenagers.

    17. I was a goth in the UK when this came out so Lydia was a style icon to me. I had a huge fold away black sunhat too!

    18. Absolutely one of my all time favorites and could quote it forever

    19. I have loved Beetlejuice since I was 5, my parents thought I was NUTS, that I wanted to watch it all the time lol!

    20. Great movie! Wanna thank you fellow posters for makeing me feel old when you say that you were kids when it came out cause that’s the year I graduated high school. :D