I just sat down to write, but something about “See Oprah’s Body Throughout The Years” crept up in my Twitter feed and I thought, Well, yeah, now that you mention it, I’d like to see Oprah’s body throughout the years.

What’s wrong with me?

The internet is this amazing place filled with awesome people, but I’m spending ten minutes looking through photos of Oprah being normal, then getting too thin, then being normal again. And you know what? That’s kinda crappy, because she’s Oprah, and who cares if she’s a little curvier than Barbara Walters?

The woman gives away cars for God’s sake.

There is such a weird emphasis on what women look like. This argument is nothing new, of course. We live in a world where if our girlhood Barbie dolls were real-life women, they’d be 6’0”, kidney-less, and probably a size double zero. She’d also have creepy hands that don’t move. Sure, “Barbie can do anything.”

Except actually hold something.

Thanks to the internet I am inundated with photos of celebrities lookin’ skinnier than the straws they sip their Diet Cokes with, so every once in a while, I have to take a step back and remember a few things:

1. I wish Photoshop changed things in real life, but it doesn’t, and I am OK the way I am even though I sometimes like to think the freckle on my nose is mascara.
2. Natalie Portman looks like a size two in every photo but she’s actually pregnant at the moment.
3. Imperfection can be perfection. The Japanese call it ‘wabbi-sabbi,’ which means ‘the beauty of imperfection.’ It also sounds like something that would go on sushi. Oh, now I want sushi.
4. Buy sushi.

I wish I could take out a big billboard that just read: Girls, please understand that not everybody looks like Katy Perry.

But man, I bet even Katy Perry probably wishes she looked like airbrushed pregnant Natalie Portman.

Stephanie Sparer is a contributor to HelloGiggles and The Phoenix New Times. She has a blog and a twitter where she actively offers commentary on her every day life. She has appeared in many films, including “Stephanie’s First Birthday,” and “Stephanie’s Ballet Recital ’91”. She only just found out who Justin Bieber is.