Some days I fear I will never meet you. Some days I fear that you will never exist and that time, shhh, long ago, was the last chance. But other days I break apart completely thinking about your skin and if you’d smile with your eyes or with your entire face.
I just wanted to tell you some things in case, well, in case it doesn’t happen. In case you never meet me or in case I forget to tell you these things later on, when I’m even more tired.
First of all, do not be afraid of love. Do, however, be afraid of men with two first names. Remember that elegance, etiquette and general ‘being-a-lady-ness’ is ridiculously important. So is sticking your tongue out, hanging from jungle-gyms, drinking whisky and knowing how to creatively curse. The balance is key.
If someone is ever rude to you on the bus or in line at the bank, first try to imagine what other horrible things may have happened to that person earlier in the day. I was never good at this. But you will be. You will be courageous and kind. You will not berate a 60-year-old man in a Citgo.
Some days, you will have arrived at your wit’s end and the amount of rudeness a stranger is exuding may exceed normal levels. This is when you can, and should, berate a 60-year-old man in a Citgo. Cherish these moments, these few moments in which flying off the handle is completely satisfying and justified. They happen less than we’d all like to believe.
When it comes to dating: no one on planet Earth is ever ‘too busy’ to spend time with you unless they do not care for you. This is a fact. Don’t let people use this excuse and do not use it yourself, if you can help it. It is not easy.
There is nothing wrong with not going to college. There is nothing immoral about sex or smoking. It may not be healthy, but don’t let anyone tell you that you’re a bad person for those choices. God does not exist but you should still have faith in humanity. As hard as that can be sometimes.
Tattoos are fine as long as they compliment your beautiful skin, not mar it.
Do you know how many people had to survive this world for you to be here? If one person in the generations upon generations upon generations of our lineage before us had a heart attack or got struck by a car or eaten by a mastodon then BAM: non-existence. Never forget that. And remember that the jerkwad taking up two parking spots exists in the same coincidence of life. It is up to you to decide whether or not that is beautiful or horrifying. Hopefully you’ll decide that it is both.
Do not take crap from anyone but especially do not take crap from your mother, anyone who cherishes only a fraction of you and your girlfriends.
Take everyone’s advice critically. My mistakes will not be your mistakes. You may have better ideas, better ways of making it through the day. Keep the good, discard the bad and be careful with what you tell others.
No one looks like Anna Karina. Be wary of women who obsess over Edie Sedgwick.
Be brave with your love and do not exclude the possibility of sleeping with someone based on their political affiliation. Do not sleep with with bigots, racists, homophobes or artless people.
Never exclude the midwest. It is a gem that most people will never know.
You know nothing and neither do I and that will never change and that will always be comforting. Care for yourself, care for others and care for mystery. No one wants all the answers.
Order girly drinks at the bar when you’re young and when they taste good. But always have a strong drink order for dire times.
So here’s to meeting you and here’s to you moving the ball down the field. Do not forget about sunlight and the way bedrooms smell. TV will not rot your brain. Milk is delicious. I love you.
Alan Hanson is a writer in Los Angeles. He loves space and sometimes pays his rent on time. You can follow his blog of non-sense at lieslieslies.tumblr.com or his tweets @iluvbutts247. Alan also edits and contributes to the poetry blog Looked Like Laughing.
Image via history.co.uk