Are You There Blog? It's Me Caragh

Let's Talk About Sister Wives' Kody Brown (Who is a Grown Man Who appears to Highlights His Hair)

I had my first encounter with the TLC show Sister Wives the other evening. In the midst of writing my midterm papers for the last real semester of my undergraduate career, I craved some late night, mindless reality television. I would get too emotionally invested in anything Kardashian related, Wife Swap wasn’t available On Demand, and so Sister Wives was the show chosen to distract me from my actual responsibilities.

I settled down for some unimportant television about a family that participates in polygamy, a marital practice which I have absolutely no problem with. I am all for whatever makes you happy. If a man wants to marry 3 other women, 2 men and  4 transgendered human beings, I wholly support it. And I sure as hell would watch that show.

Right away, my jaw dropped when I saw the opening logo for the show:  4 female gender symbols hanging off of a male gender symbol, like dangling keys off of a keychain. As if Kody Brown keeps these ladies hanging off of him like some sort of accessory.

As I half payed attention to the mess unfolding in front of me, I realized just how sick the marriage truly is. These women act as if Kody Brown is their savior, when really I am just 99% sure that he murders teenagers or molests koala bears, or maybe something else that is less drastic and over the top, but definitely slightly creepy.

Kody Brown is your uncle who gets too drunk and makes the inappropriate comment about the size of your 15 year old cousin’s newly matured chest. Kody Brown is the local gas station attendant who winks at you when he hands you back your change. Kody Brown is the guy at the pet store who is just a little too into your dog. I’m mostly kidding, of course, but Kody Brown treats his wives like he is their owner,  he wears  sweater vests  and he’s dumb enough to star in a show centered around the concept of polygamy while he lived in a state where polygamy is illegal. That’s all just as bad as everything I made up about him.

I guess the only way to fight against this show that features a grown man who appears to highlight his hair is to not watch it. But season 3 starts this spring and I need to know how Robyn is handling the birth of her first child with Kody, a boy they named Solomon because celebrities and people who handle like religion as if it’s a cult people don’t care about how often their kids are going to get made fun of if they have weird-ass names. So fight the fight for me, you guys. I’ll watch it because I have no self control, but you should stand up for what’s right in this sick, cruel world so we can get Sister Wives canceled.

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  • Nicolas Ryan Boley

    let someone edit for youuuuuu xo

    • Caragh Poh

      HG has a wonderful in-house editor, but she does A LOT of work for the site. If an error somehow manages to slip by her, it’s understandable. If you would like to take a stab at correcting my mistakes, feel free and hopefully we can make those changes for you. xo

  • Erin Colley Craig

    oh but watch more… i felt the same way, and went in with only the intent of scoffing and wondering about these poor, mindless women, who no doubt have been brainwashed, have low self esteem, etc… i love them all! i can’t help it! meri is amazing, and janelle? what a woman! christine’s voice exudes calmness. sorry. i actually just fell in love with the family. and it was the total opposite of what i was expecting to do! kody seems like a goof, an overgrown man-child, but… despite his flaws (which i’m sure are numerous) he appears to love each wife, and know the name of each child. which i suppose is no big feat but when you come from a family of three (mom, myself, younger brother) and your father often calls you the wrong name (not my mother’s, or brother’s, or anyone in our family) it almost makes kody look like a nice guy. i will continue to watch too, as they are S L O W L Y added to netflix! keep me posted as you may see them before i do.

  • Natalie Doering

    Murder a teenager and molest koala bears? Wow. Think that’s a bit harsh and insensitive. Maybe choose your words more carefully next time.

    • Caragh Poh

      I’m just having trouble conveying how terrible this human being is!

  • Erin Colley Craig

    oh natalie, she’s so young and opinionated and funny! if she had said murdering koala bears and molesting teenagers… now that, that would have been harsh! eh, i love them, these sister wives, love them all. even robyn is starting to grow on me, what with all the theatrical crying she can throw down without provocation.

  • Leilani Gilcrease

    Yeah, they seem like your typical family full of nerds as far as I can tell (and I’ve been watching Sister Wives since day 1.) Kody’s hair can definitely give you douche chills, but he’s not that bad. The ladies just think their husbands a major moron babe.. let them have it.

    • Caragh Poh

      “Douche chills”. Love it.

    • Sara Nichole Houser-Thomas

      Funniest comment evs. Douche chills. HAHA!!

  • Nikki Li Apple

    Damn. Now I have to watch this show.

  • Andrea Hernandez-Venegas

    Even the name of the show kind of freaks me out. Mostly the “sister” part of Sister Wives. I mean, the couldn’t come up with something else that’s not quite so creepy? My sister watched it like once and got so angry at it that she had to stop. I’ve never seen anyone quite so angry at a reality TV program.

  • Emily Hatfield

    I appreciate your humor Caragh. As a blogger, you have the right to (mostly) sarcastically express your opinions in a (semi-)exaggerated way if you want. I love your writing. And Sister Wives creeps me out to the max and I will boycott it for you. Also he looks like he is trying to be a Backstreet Boy.

    • Kaitlyn Shore

      I actually cannot see how his wives (especially my girl, Meri!) take him seriously with that hair, both on head and facial.

  • Diana Becker Enterlin

    The part that always gets me is in the opening sequence when Kody says “Love should be multiplied not divided” and then I yell at the tv screen that having to sleep in a different house each night is indeed dividing your love…and time…and resources

  • Lauren Bell

    Agree, entirely!!!!!! That show is out of control!!!

  • Amanda Haas

    Him and that Dad from that show with a bunch of kids on TLC (19 kids/whatever) are the two CREEPIEST guys I’ve ever seen. Seriously. Gross

  • Kristine Kiddell-Truesdale

    OK – i don’t get this article… you keep talking about him and is if his wives are some sort of ‘victims’… don’t they have the right to choose which kind of relationship they like to be in? It seems maybe like not only does the network logo assume that these women ‘hang’ off the man, but you do too… Just sayin….

  • Molly McAleer

    I completely agree and would like to talk about this more for hours and hours and hours and hours.

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