Let's Make "Party in the USA" Our New National Anthem

Like most Americans, I have a major case of Olympic fever right now. While it’s a lot of fun to watch, I have one complaint: the United States’ national anthem is a snoozer. Rather than having our country’s best athletes pretend to mouth the words to a slow song, wouldn’t it be better to play a fun pop song that they can dance to on the podium? With that in mind, I hereby propose that we make Miley Cyrus’s “Party in the USA” our new official national anthem.

Sorry, “Star Spangled Banner”, but you’re passé and inappropriate. All of that war imagery just helps to confirm the United States’ warmongering reputation, which – though true – is not something to aspire to. Moreover, the song spans two octaves, and the average American does not have the vocal range to sing it properly. I don’t need to hear people’s voices cracking at the baseball stadium.

On the other hand, “Party in the USA” is upbeat, celebratory and comes with some easy dance steps that correspond with the lyrics, such as throwing your hands up, nodding your head like yeah, and moving your hips like yeah. Plus, it makes a lot of American cultural references that any patriotic soul should think fondly of, like:

  • the Hollywood sign
  • Britney Spears
  • Nashville
  • DJs
  • LAX airport
  • stilettos
  • Jay-Z
  • taxi cabs
  • the quest for fame
  • and, of course, partying

If you’re onboard to make our national anthem way more festive, sign this official petition addressed to the United States Congress that I created. Together, we can bring about change and help establish a real party in the USA!

Image via Flickr user Lovatic♥

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