Let's Make "Party in the USA" Our New National AnthemKevin Mathews

Like most Americans, I have a major case of Olympic fever right now. While it’s a lot of fun to watch, I have one complaint: the United States’ national anthem is a snoozer. Rather than having our country’s best athletes pretend to mouth the words to a slow song, wouldn’t it be better to play a fun pop song that they can dance to on the podium? With that in mind, I hereby propose that we make Miley Cyrus’s “Party in the USA” our new official national anthem.

Sorry, “Star Spangled Banner”, but you’re passé and inappropriate. All of that war imagery just helps to confirm the United States’ warmongering reputation, which – though true – is not something to aspire to. Moreover, the song spans two octaves, and the average American does not have the vocal range to sing it properly. I don’t need to hear people’s voices cracking at the baseball stadium.

On the other hand, “Party in the USA” is upbeat, celebratory and comes with some easy dance steps that correspond with the lyrics, such as throwing your hands up, nodding your head like yeah, and moving your hips like yeah. Plus, it makes a lot of American cultural references that any patriotic soul should think fondly of, like:

  • the Hollywood sign
  • Britney Spears
  • Nashville
  • DJs
  • LAX airport
  • stilettos
  • Jay-Z
  • taxi cabs
  • the quest for fame
  • and, of course, partying

If you’re onboard to make our national anthem way more festive, sign this official petition addressed to the United States Congress that I created. Together, we can bring about change and help establish a real party in the USA!

Image via Flickr user Lovatic♥

comments

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  1. hahaha this is great!
    Seriously though the current anthem is awfully boring.
    I’m sure it was a “pop song” when it was written and adopted as the anthem!

  2. I laughed so hard while reading the article and then I read the comments and I was just really surprised that so many people seem to not get that all of this is pure crack. I mean of course he’s not really meaning he wants ‘Party in the USA’ for national anthem, it’s just for giggles (you know, like in ‘hellogiggles’?); otherwise it would be ridiculous. English is not my first language but I quickly got that the guy was not serious about it all. Anyway, thank you dear author for making me laugh after a long day :) Besides, France also has a pretty boring national anthem, also war-themed, and I’m pretty attached to it considering the fact it took me ages to learn it as a kid but I wouldn’t say no to something a bit more upbeat to sing along at sport competitions and such (and yes, I am joking with that one too) ;)

  3. LOL + OMG with these comments! My cardigan and I support this movement!

  4. This is hilarious. Everyone needs to relax. New Zealand has a pretty dull anthem as well. Maybe we should petition to get a Flight of the Conchords song to replace it so that we can jam along that to at the Olympics?! You guys, this could be a new movement!

  5. the amount of people on this comment thread that need to calm the f down is STAGGERING.

  6. I am so glad that people visiting social blogging sites don’t take the articles posted too seriously.

    Wait… was that sarcastic? The ability to take a joke must be passe and inappropriate, my bad.

  7. I’m not one to rant and be negative, but we’re all entitled to our opinions and I am proud to be American. I am proud of our anthem. That being said, I sincerely hope this is a joke. Party in the USA? Not only is the song choice disrespectful, but it is also tasteless. I like to think I don’t have that stereotypical ‘American ego’, but I also am not a fan of our anthem becoming the laughing stock of the world.

    More than that though, the comment about the war imagery confirming our ‘warmongering reputation’ concerns me as it is completely misguided. I’m not a fan of war, but that is NOT what this song is about. Francis Scott Key wrote the song (originally a poem) about the price that was paid during the battle at Ft. McHenry and the hope that was felt when he saw our flag, that we had not fallen. Some quick research shows you that. This song illustrates one of the many battles that took place for our freedom. It’s about never giving up, about fighting for what you believe in no matter the adversity you face. How, I ask, is that inappropriate?

    Yes, the song is not written in a way that is easy for the average person to sing, but the purpose of the anthem is not for it to be easy to sing. I’m not the best singer myself and I’m pretty shy about singing loud enough for others to hear. But you can bet that I sing our anthem loudly and out of tune, but with emense pride and gratitude for those who lost their lives so that you and I can even make these types of comments without fear of retribution. When I watch our Athletes stand with their hadns over their hards, mouthing our anthem I get teary eyed.

    Write a song that addiquately expresses the struggle, fight and hope for the true American dream as our anthem does, in a key you find more comfortable and I will consider signing a petition. Until then, I prefer to save Miley’s party anthem for rocking out in the car or Fourth of July BBQs.

  8. I LOVE the Star Spangled Banner. It makes me tear up every time I see someone standing on the podium and our flag is raised to it. We need to remember what our country was founded on and the price that was paid for our freedom. Our freedom is what sets us apart from a lot of the world and that is why our National Anthem is VERY appropriate.

  9. Imagine how silly it would be if
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NL9o04fY_BM&feature=player_embedded
    this happened, But to “PARTY IN THE USA”
    XD

  10. Love this idea! … another point you missed: it’s sung by Miley Cyrus. And she is just amazing in general. We need to dedicate more things to her :)

  11. I actually like our current Anthem, Maybe people need to be more patriotic than cynical. Many countries have anthems about defeating adversity, beating the odds and/or revolutions. Linking “war mongering” to our national anthem is kinda offensive
    “The lyrics come from “Defence of Fort McHenry”, a poem written in 1814 by the 35-year-old lawyer and amateur poet, Francis Scott Key, after witnessing the bombardment of Fort McHenry by the British Royal Navy ships in Chesapeake Bay during the Battle of Fort McHenry in the War of 1812.”(Wiki)
    I hope this isn’t real, or at least meant with true intent.

  12. Sure! Let’s just showcase how stupid we are and really give the world what they expect of us…

  13. Are these comments sarcastic? People cant seriously be on board with this?!?

  14. This is the most significant social movement in the history of America. Yes We Can!

  15. “Sorry, “Star Spangled Banner”, but you’re passé and inappropriate.” — Well said. I stand behind this movement.

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