I recently had dinner with two besties. As we caught up with each other’s lives, my one friend tells me the story of a woman at work who has been trying to lose weight without much success. They held an Easter Egg Hunt at work for everyone and, of course, inside the eggs was candy. My friend, in her efforts to stay healthy, didn’t indulge, while her co-worker did. And who got reprimanded? I wish I could say no one did, because a person should feel free to eat or not eat candy, but that’s not how the world works lately. No, my friend, who chose to not eat candy, had to hear grief about her choice.
I will fully admit that I am a mid-twenty-something who has done the classic Regina George, “I really wanna lose three pounds.” I’m pretty sure most of us have done this even while knowing that it’s obnoxious of us. But we say that because 1) we feel obligated to feel bad about our bodies. If we feel good about our bodies, we’re snobs and bitches, and we’d rather feel fat than snobby or bitchy, and 2) if we say what we’re really thinking, no one is going to believe us anyway.
When a person starts working out, they tone up, lose weight, and may even look better. And you know what happens then? They’re punished for it. Remember when Lea Michelle dropped weight after the first season of Glee? Honestly, you’d think she had slaughtered a billion cows and then refused to eat any of them, because clearly, her only reason for losing the weight was because she thought she was fat. That was the whole world’s assumption. “She’s too skinny!” people shouted across Tumblr. “She looked fine, what is she doing to herself, what kind of message is she sending to the children WE SHOULD BURN HER AT THE STEAK.” Steak, stake, see what I did? Never mind.
When a picture of a thin girl comes on Tumblr, she’s either creepily turned into an ideal being, or thrown under the bus. There’s no middle, “Oh, she’s pretty,” because if you are to have a shred of self-worth and slight feminism, you must hate the skinny girls and rather die than look like that. That wasn’t hyperbole, by the way. I saw an image of a very attractive, skinny girl with the caption, “I would rather kill myself than be so [expletive] skinny. Whore.”
Well you know what, ladies and gentlemen? These women have stories. And sometimes they are not stories you are meant to know.
Maybe that “skinny whore” is a girl trying to redefine her beauty as she struggles with anorexia. Maybe that girl who’s suddenly toned up and dropped a few pounds is working out with new vigor because of a health issue that’s risen. Maybe they all just enjoy it.
We’re not supposed to judge plus-sized women because that is wrong, and I am in full agreement with that. So how did that judgment morph into the judgment of small girls? I’m genuinely curious: what’s the ideal weight? At what point is a person going to say, “You look really good,” and be totally fine if looking good means overweight or skinny? When is the skinny-shaming going to stop?
Back in February I joined a gym and I love the way I’m feeling, but I always end up feeling guilty afterwards, as if I am betraying the current mindset of women. Why should I feel guilty for working out? I’m a small girl whose mother has cancer and father has diabetes. You know the best way to avoid following their footsteps all the way to the hospital? Exercise. But when I do it or talk about it, I feel judged. I have a workout application on my phone that encourages me to have a friend who can be my “sponsor,” someone who I can share my successes with as I work on bettering my body. It pained me how long it took for me to think of someone I could trust, because the first friends who came to mind I was afraid would get annoyed or judge me, as if everyone thinks I’m doing it for some superficial, Hollywood, anti-feminist reason for which I should feel ashamed.
No. The world should feel ashamed. The world should feel ashamed for not considering for one second that I, along with every person at the gym, could have a good reason beyond the superficiality of appearance. I understand your drive: you want boys and girls of all sizes, all types, to feel normal and welcome and beautiful, and I can get behind that. The problem is that in trying to embrace everyone (namely, the overweight), we’ve openly hated the other extreme. Why punish those trying to do something good for our bodies? Or for doing something required by our doctor? Or doing something for enjoyment!
I know there are boys and girls out there with problems. I have friends who have struggled with eating disorders. I also feel inclined to mention that their disorders did not stem from trouble with, or fear of, weight. It manifests for all sorts of reasons, and anyone who would sit there and tell either of my friends, “OMG, but you’re like, so skinny!” deserves a few choice words, starting with, “You are the shallow one.” Stop making it about weight and start making it about health.
I want to feel good. I want to be able to run a mile again. I want to be able to lift a bag of groceries without my shoulder popping in pain. I want to be able to go on a walk with my boyfriend and not huff and puff after twenty minutes. The bonus will be I will tighten up, things will look and hang better, and I can wear that super-fabulous dress from Modcloth that DOESN’T FIT ME ANYMORE, THE NERVE. And I will be so fantastic and you won’t judge me for it because now you understand that I have a story. And so do others. And you probably do, too.
Can we let it go now, ladies? Can we just let each other make healthy decisions without the raised eyebrows and points and mock-concern? You’ll know when you need to be concerned, and maybe there will come a time when you do need to sit down with your over-zealous friend and discuss her health choices, although I truly hope not. But until then, trust that most of us are making healthy choices for the right reasons, and your support will help us get there quickly and happily.
Featured image “i’m bigger than my body gives me credit for” by Chris Setty
I think it’s important to focus on the fact that word can hurt. And they can hurt anyone they are aimed at. My college boyfriend admitted that his friends used to tease him about whether or not I looked like an alien naked. At 20, I was a college athlete and had always been an active healthy eater, but those comments really scarred me.. I became obsessed with my body and wished for bigger hips and boobs and didn’t trust anyone who said I looked “fine” or “healthy” Sadly, I stayed in that relationship for far too long and my boyfriend allowed them to say, “buy that bitch a cheeseburger” when they thought I wasn’t listening. A decade later, I’m far away from that relationship and in a much healthier place but it took years to undo the damage careless words caused.
Emily, that’s terrible! I’m so sorry that happened to you, but it sounds like you became a much stronger person for it. Keep being your beautiful self and never let anyone get away with that kind of thing again! You’ve got the whole HelloGiggles world behind you, girl <3
I can say from personal experience that being judged for being too skinny does hurt. Summer 2010 I started having health problems and through a slew of doctors appointments, meds and diet changes to keep food in my body, it turned out I had a chronic appendicitis that had been a catalyst for my 30 pound weight loss (the morning of surgery I was 104 pounds at 5’7).
Almost a year later and I’m still slowly gaining the weight back. It’s not like I can just sit down with a box of donuts at each meal, I have to make healthy choices to put on weight, as well as exercise to build back the strength that I no longer have (I was an athlete from 4th grade – end of college).
Now I have never been an overweight person so I cannot say how painful it is to be called fat or any of the variations of the insult, but trust me, having people point out how skinny I am without knowing why really does hurt. I am embarrassed and ashamed of my body because of how people see me (and how I assume others do), and getting comments about pictures on facebook like “wow, you’re really skinny…” really does sting. so just consider that when judging people of any weight. You don’t know their story.
C32WRC aeqdyxyiaylm
I had the same problem at your age. I know that it sucks!You need to try free wehtigs. They are great. You will define your muscle, gain more muscle. Muscle burns more calories. The weight just falls off and you will have a great body. You can go to almost any site iVilliage is a very good one. You can also buy free weight with very little money.(a little less than a $1 a lb) You will need small wehtigs two of each. A good start is 2lbs 3lbs and 5lbs. If you just can’t get your hands on any money to go and get these you can always use canned veggies out of the cabinet to get you started. You know the ones that are 12-16 oz and the bigger ones that have like peaches. hope that it helps
That’s terrible! I’m glad you understood the point of my article so perfectly, and I hope everything is going well for you. You’re beautiful, girl, don’t forget it! <3
Thank you, thank you, thank you for this. I’m 21 years old and ever since childhood, I have been extremely thin. My family has a naturally fast metabolism in its genes, which is a blessing in some ways, I know, but people are always saying “Oh my god, you’re so lucky!” And the truth is, I undergo the same amount of bullying as someone overweight. In middle school, when we started learning about eating disorders, I was bombarded with schoolmates calling me anorexic and bullemic for almost a year, with enough cruelty that I would go home and cry, or not even go to school. I get more blood tests than anyone I know, because every time I go to a new doctor, they insist on testing me for disorders, even if the stain from the spill of my lunch is resting on my shirt. All of my life, people around me have been trying to lose weight, and here I am, thin and made fun of. How is that right?
I have been uncomfortable with my body my whole life, unable to feel pretty. I used to look in the mirror and see my face as too bony or too angular or too skinny. I looked too skinny to myself, understand that?! And let me tell you, I worked for years to gain. I went to nutritionists, I ate extra proteins and calories, I did everything. But it’s just not my body. I’m now finally comfortable with myself, but it has taken 21 years to get that way, and I still have my moments of doubt. I still have my moments of fear before I take off my cover ups at the beach.
End of story, everyone should be made to feel beautiful as long as they are healthy. If I was genuinely too thin to be healthy, I would want to know and change, and I can assume it works the same on the opposite end of the spectrum. But, if someone is skinnier or larger, more muscular or leaner – who cares?! As long as they are healthy and happy, all people are beautiful, I believe that 100%. No one should have to wake up and feel ashamed of who they are because of what society says.
Exactly, girl! You sound genuinely stronger after being bullied and I am so glad you’ve become comfortable with your body. I hope soon you can take off that cover-up without any fear!
My sister dealt with a similar situation for most of her life (she is 26 now). Growing up we both had stomach problems, but I eventually grew out of them when I was younger while she still struggled. Because of this she learned healthy eating habits early on while I pigged out on whatever I wanted (I was still healthy an active lifestyle, mind you).
Though I didn’t have to deal with this like my sister did, I still saw how hard her life was because of this. She was constantly struggling with her weight thanks to a ridiculously active metabolism, and in all honesty I remember times when we would be eating lunch together where she would turn and ask what I was having in the hopes that she could someday have the same body type as me. This didn’t work for her, and like you she had to deal with being called out for an eating disorder she didn’t have, including actually being called out in front of the class by the teacher during the swimming lessons with the question “Are you anorexic?”. She just simply couldn’t put on weight, so much so that eventually she got a doctor’s note to get out of gym class because she was a dancer, and both activities would cause her to lose weight that she couldn’t afford to. She wasn’t happy like this, and no one could understand that. When she cried about it people thought she was being an idiot for complaining about her “blessing.” But no, she had health issues, and eventually she had to go on birth control just to start her period.
It’s great to hear that you are finally comfortable with your weight and appearance and I hope my sister is able to say the same. In the past 5 or so years she was put on a bunch of meds, both anxiety and heart related (she had surgery to fix her sternum, you know when a chest looks like it is caved in?) and now she actually has to deal with the opposite end of the spectrum thanks to side effects to the pills. Instead of finally being completely satisfied with how she looks, she must work once more to find her healthy body weight.
I don’t believe that anyone should ever be shamed for making healthy diet choices or exercising EVER. Its a shame you had a hard time finding someone who wouldn’t judge you for making those healthy decisions. I think that exercise of some sort should be a part of everybody’s daily routine. Whether you’re naturally skinny or not. It’s quite simple.
As an overweight person, I chose to start working out when I noticed my fitness decline severely after high school. I’ve always been proportionate in my weight gain so I still “looked good” even though I had a tough time shopping and I am a little self conscious. My major wake up call was when my knees and hips started hurting because of the weight gain. And the first few weeks of switching my diet to eat healthy I felt fantastic.
Point being, while a major motivator is getting skinny and “beach ready,” the main goal should always be general health. Healthy eating and exercise greatly impacts the really important part of your body – your major organs (ie, heart, lungs, kidneys, liver, skeletal etc.) So when I see an already slim person working out and eating healthy I see it as a good thing, never “OMG why are you working out when you’re already so skinny!”
Exercise is healthy for everyone. No questions asked. No judgements made. Just get it done!
You hit the nail on the head, Heather! Your goal is exactly right and you should be proud. I’m so glad you have such a great outlook on both your own health and the health of others. I’d love to hit the gym with you sometime! Never stop being gorgeous, both inside and out <3
While I agree with most of what is said in this article, I dislike the implication that feminism equals skinny bashing. It doesn’t. I consider myself a feminist and I try my best not to make comments about anyone’s weight (although I’m not always successful) having been on both sides myself. True feminism is about supporting each other.
I can totally get behind that an apologize for the way I worded it. You bring up a great point
I’ m fat, & I’m ok with it. I had a friend who was so desperate to gain weight that she was planning a party when she reached 100 lbs. We’d eat lunch together & people woild always tell her to eat more or if she ate veggies or something, they’d all tell her she should eat a cookie or something. I was always amazed – no one would ever walk uo to me and tell me to eat less, or eat a carrot. I always felt so bad for herand was amazed that people would say such things right to her face. She actually broke into tears once. Whether we want to admit it or not, the article is correct, people assume that thin girls WANT to be thin & should be happy that they are. I think some of the posters don’t even realize tjat they areliving proff of that fact
You might just be my favorite person in the world, because you love yourself and you love your friend and I just think your whole comment was so great :’) I hope she sticks by you the way you stick by her! Thank you so much for replying! Keep being beautiful! <3
People forget there are two sides to every coin. I was/am in the same place as your friend! People don’t realize it hurts us so much to be bashed. Every healthy size is a beautiful size, end of story =)
It’s not only America. I live in Germany and had to defend myself so many times for going to the gym because people kept telling me that “I don’t need to lose weight”, whithout even thinking that working out could have other purposes. At first, some people just enjoy being active because- surprise!- working out can be fun. Second, additionally to just enjoying workout, I have multiple sclerosis and am not able to use my left leg properly if I skip the workout for several weeks. One day I caught myself talking about it, although I didn’t feel like doing so, just because I felt the need to defend myself for working out so often and I got really angry about the whole situation because, well, why should anyone be bashed for being ‘a sporty type’? I never insulted anyone who is overweight, so what gives others the right to insult me for enjoying the workout? This whole obsession with weight is tedious and really needs to stop!
Agree agree agree, Nikolina! When I first told some friends I was joining the gym, one said to me, “Don’t waste you’re money, you’re skinny.” No no nonononono, that’s not what it was about for me, and so many people don’t seem to understand that! I know how frustrating that can be, and I’m sorry you had to go through it like I did. I hope you keep being amazing and caring more about your health than your appearance, because that’s what matters <3 You're great!
I’ve been on both sides of this fence. I grew up overweight, and until the age of 24 was at 250 pounds. I’m now 32 and do not weigh that, and work out and watch what I eat. I now get told that I’m allowed to eat what I want because my body will just burn it off. I roll my eyes. But, honestly, it’s not like being told I was a ‘fat cow’ and I was ugly because I was fat. Those feelings never go away. I can’t say being called a ‘skinny bitch’ (which I’ve been called) doesn’t make me feel bad, but I also remember when I used to feel that way about my skinny friends. I think, in essence, we just need to let people be. We are all women, and we need to support each other. We have to stop jumping to conclusions about everyone, and just love each other for who we are on the inside, and not what we look like on the outside. It does hurt when someone jumps to conclusions about me now just as much as it did back then. We just need to remember we are women, and we need to stick together. No amount of name calling is going to make any of it any better.
I completely agree, Liz. I wrote this because it seems that there are lots of articles about the other side of this spectrum, but bullying DOES happen to the thinner girls, and it is just as hurtful. No one has the right to harass anyone for any type of weight, but likewise, no one has the right to determine how hurtful words can be. Remember, we’re all different, we’ve had different journeys, and we all handle different things different ways. I’m glad you’re in the crowd of us who refuses to join in on the ridiculousness of weight shaming
well said!
In this world you’re too fat or too skinny.
My problem, I have a condition that makes it hard to lose weight. I’m not saying that as an excuse, I’m being truthful. I’m allergic to wheat/gluten and I don’t eat meat. I eat a good amount of fruits and veggies and I eat dairy ever so often (generally if I go out to eat, which I don’t do a lot). I work out 5 days a week for at least 30 minutes, doing some high end cardio. I can run a good while without feeling completely winded. But I’m around a 14/16 and have been trying to lose weight for at least 2 years. I say They assume I eat ALL the foods in the world because there’s no way someone who has cut out wheat and meat is this “big” right?
I’ll be honest, lately I have come to a point where I’m re-evaluating what I eat because I don’t understand why I’m not smaller than I should be. I have to remember that dang medical condition and not to worry my life away about my weight.
Now, what if we, overall, stop body shaming. Stop skinny shaming, stop fat shaming, etc. We don’t know people’s struggles with weight and what’s the point in doing it anyway? We’re not them. If they choose to eat candy or not that’s their prerogative.
And now you have Bobby Brown stuck in your head. You’re welcome.
KUDOS on not only sharing your story, but making me laugh at the end! You’re on the right track–all the shaming needs to stop! Thanks for replying, Clarissa! <3
Every comment someone has given me about being “too skinny” has hurt. Imagine, if you will, if the comments were reversed. If someone told me to get my bony self to a restaurant, no one blinks an eye. But if I dared to tell someone to get their fat self to a gym, I’m a horrible person. No one likes to be told they look bad. We as women need to support each other in just being as healthy as we can be. A real woman supports her sisters.
Completely agreed, Becky! High five! <3
“The world” should be ashamed? I thought you were banning shame. And the world is fine, it’s America that’s the problem. Specifically American media. The only promte either the male fantasy of a woman or their nightmare of a woman. Let’s take our power back in words & action. This essay is a fine place to start. Let’s talk about it in daily life and give unsolicit feedback to companies who fail to diversify women types in marketing & entertainment!
A poor choice of words, yikes. Wish I’d realized that before I submitted this
But I don’t think it’s just America. You can’t single out America and give it all the power of every poor thing that happens (not saying you do, just saying it seeeeeems to be a pattern out there). It absolutely happens in other countries–the tumblr users who call models skinny bitches aren’t only from America: I’ve seen it from England, Germany, France, Israel, Singapore, all over, from diverse women who I do admire and respect. This isn’t a contained issue. It may not be an overwhelming issue, but it certainly isn’t only American. You’re definitely right, though. Companies all over the world need to embrace all sizes and shapes and we need to make sure they not only do it, but don’t exploit the fact that they’re doing it (like the Dove campaign. It was so close to being a great idea, but then they shouted, “HEY LOOK AT US, WE LOVE ALL SHAPES!” like, that’s defeating the purpose).
What a great article! I have been both extremely overweight and extremely skinny and I can vouch that “fatty” comments and “eat-a-sandwich” comments are equally hurtful. It’s that feeling that no matter what you do there’s still something wrong with your appearance. I remember when Jennifer Hudson lost all that weight through WeightWatchers I thought, wow she looks fabulous and in control of her life! Whereas a good friend of mine said to me “She better not lose anymore weight because she is way too skinny and she looks awful!!” People are judgmental. I think sometimes people assume that “skinny” comments are ok because they’re not as taboo as “fat” comments. I think any judgment on a another person’s appearance is wrong and hurtful.
I think you’re right, and I think it relates back to another article I wrote about accepting people’s choices regarding sex. If you wanna sleep around, cool! If you wanna be a virgin, cool! As long as you’re doing it for your own reasons and you’re in control of your situation, I think it’s great. That’s how I feel about this whole weight thing. Whatever you want is fine, just be happy!
I agree with you that everyone should stop judging and commenting on anyone’s body size or eating habits, period. And the comments you personally have received or unfair.
But your article seems to imply that there is a skinny-shaming epidemic, which is misguided and presumptuous. The comments about your weight that you may be receiving is a bi-product of an overall obsession with weight, not specifically targeted at skinny women.
Nevertheless, your particular experience and your feelings about receiving those comments are valid, and perhaps this would be better written if it just included your experience and not a “call to arms” to stop an epidemic- an epidemic it is not.
Yes yes yes yes yes, to everything you said.
Thank you. You said what I wanted to, but didn’t express right.
Great Post
Being a skinny girl from childhood, I’ve always envied full figured women and hated the comments I’ve received all my life. It’s comforting to know my mum & both my sisters were just like me and filled out later in their mid 20′s. I’ve learnt to ignore the constant comments, being called a skinny bitch & eating disorder speculations from guidance counselors through high school. Their were times when I over ate, and packed a full and healthy lunch to school just to combat speculation. It never really worked.
Anyway I love food too much to skip meals & I cry like a baby if I puke.
I’ve learnt to stop trying to please people who don’t know about me and don’t actually care.
It’s easy to make comments about peoples appearances: weight, height and features. Unless you genuinely care I suggest you don’t! Because you don’t really know, and you’re probably making them feel uncomfortable and/0r irritated.
What matters most is that you’re healthy, comfortable & happy.
LOVE THIS ARTICLE and I completely agree with Willow Wright above. Additionally I’d love to see the phrase “made for a real woman” removed from our common lexicon. All women are real living breathing creatures with a personal history. We should respect that. I’m on the large end, I suppose, I fluctuate due to a very real thyroid condition that I have, in part, to teenage bulimia. A wise woman once told me to make health decision to maximize your health now to live your fullest when you’re 60. We should all encourage ourselves and our friends to exercise ‘for our insides and for our future health’.
Yes! Exactly this! The “made for real women” thing is silly – we are all real women, whether we’re a size 0 or a 28 (or anything in between). How about instead of “stop skinny-shaming,” we stop body-shaming? Turning the XXLs against the XXSs doesn’t really accomplish anything except making women hate each other.
I really enjoyed this article for the fact that it is against judgement. I don’t think that it is saying there is anything wrong with being large or being small. What I do think it is saying is that, no one should be made to feel bad based on size. I am a small person. I however am also a baker so I have to work out constantly to stay at a weight that makes me happy. However, I think that weight is also perspective based. I’m 110lbs so anything close to 120lbs (10lb) increase) is large for me but I’m sure that it wouldnt be large for someone larger. I have friends who are larger and I am apparently not allowed to complain about bein large even when they do? Hats large to me isn’t large to other people, just like what is small to me is t small for other people. We are all different but we shouldnt be made to feel bad.
Also, I don’t think we should feel bad for “skinny girls” BUT we should also not feel bad for “large girls” either. I think equality needs to happen he. It comes to weight when t comes to feeling bad for people. Plus, no one likes to be Felt bad for.
For every large girl that cries because of judgement, in sure there is a skinny girl out there who feels bad as well. No one likes to be judged.
Small and proud
That’s only in America. I never knew skinny girls who were blamed for not eating or something, that sounds like science-fiction to me. I’m from France, living in Germany. All my female friends (and me too, actually) have or had to deal with eating disorders, and some of them had a really hard time eating normally again.
At the moment, I have a friend who’s eating very few. She swears she’s not making herself starve, that she only eats when she’s really hungry, but sometimes I doubt it. There’s clearly a link between not eating and getting skinnier (i.e. looking better) for her, she always wants to be skinnier and skinnier, and that’s a vicious circle with no end. I know how it is.
The social pressure against skinny girls is non-existent here, but you should see what fat girls have to bear. I just think we don’t speak from the same perspective, it doesn’t make any sense to me to fuss about a few stupid people being stupid. Please don’t tell me they make you feel bad about your body, I don’t believe you.
I’m sorry, but just because it doesn’t happen in your country it doesn’t mean that it don’t happen at all, that’s just ignorant. I live in South America and I’ve always been “too skinny” and had to struggle with people actually bullying me over it (I’ve been called an anorexic as a “joke” for as long as I can remember). I’m not saying it didn’t happen to overweight girls too, but considering that the ideal of beauty in my country is rather curvy I felt quite bad because I didn’t develop the same way as my classmates in high school.
I think the world has a lot more to feel ashamed for than you perceiving yourself as being judged as too skinny. You’re in the extremely privileged position of being a slim, white woman within our society and I think moaning about people misunderstanding your desire for health as a vain pursuit of thinness is a bit petty. White slim women grace our screens, our magazines and are used to represent women far more often than any other size or race. Slimness is valued and I don’t think you can compare this minor example of “skinny-shaming” to the bullying and shaming experienced by plus sized women and men on a daily basis.
Heather, no, the social pressure is there, and I’ve had ENOUGH of that crap. You’ve obviously never struggled with your weight. Well, I do, and yes, I am working on losing weight. Should I have to feel like garbage until I get there? Psychological abuse is no way to banish obesity. The opposite is true: if you love your body, you’ll want to take care of it, and then you’ll be losing weight for the RIGHT reasons, not because everyone glares at you if you have dessert once a week.
I do struggle with my weight, and I work hard to maintain a healthy weight. I can’t eat like other people, I have to exercise more to be a normal. I know it, accept it and I do it. I think people who are overweight should. Not should if they want to, they just should. I think people in America get lost in this “every size and shape is just fine”. Its not. Obesity is real, costly and extremely unhealthy. I am not sorry for implying that society as a whole should discourage obesity, because I think its better that way.
Social pressure does not equal psychological abuse, as someone else implied earlier. Nor does it equal discrimination, clearly discrimination is wrong. But, as a group, I think its right and good to acknowledge that being obese is unhealthy and something to be discouraged. Its amazing how someone casting a second glance at you when you open a candy bar at three in the afternoon can actually help you say NO to the candy bar (instead of sending you into a shame spiral, you can choose to let it guide you to making better choices, in my opinion). I live in France, I have had strangers here scold me for eating potato chips at 11:00 am before lunch, and I am grateful for that now (although its tough at first). But, what I am suggesting is that perhaps social pressure can affect positive change (as I think it does here). And the norm in the US of feeling like you can’t say anything with good intentions to an overweight person about their weight is stupid.
There absolutely is a stigma, and I am glad that this article is suggesting that we all just stop judging each other. I was called a “skinny bitch,” among other names, all my years growing up by my sister. I have a really fast metabolism as do my parents. Her “funny, harmless” name-calling led to me still not feel comfortable in a swimsuit at my age of 24 now. So no, that feeling doesn’t just “go away, and it’s just over, I brush it off and rock what I’ve got.” It has taken a lot for me to feel somewhat normal at a pool and not want to run for a cover up because I feel like I look like a gross boy. I’m not anorexic, and have never had a thought about being so, I’ve kept a pretty active lifestyle. I’m really grateful that I have the body I do, but I have been shamed about it since I can remember. Not a day goes by that I don’t hear comments about what I’m eating, or whatever someone feels like saying. And I have never run out of people to make comments about how I must eat like a bird (which couldn’t be further from the truth, but I get ridiculed for that, too.) Cattie-Bree, I’m glad you said you don’t judge other girls, but you should have more compassion for people that you “think” can “handle” bullying so it’s okay. I hate that you comment on an article about girls being better to each other and you basically say it’s okay for other people to get bullied because they can brush it off. Bullying wouldn’t have any power over people if they could just brush it off. Every girl deserves to feel really great about herself, and feel happy to be alive and there is no one out there that should have to take crap from anyone. I’m glad you don’t do that, but to say we don’t cry about mean comments or wish we could change things about ourselves is just ignorant. I hope you are enlightened to the fact that girls, no matter what, give each other something to cry over. I certainly don’t assume that girls prettier than me, or whatever, just go home everyday and have a dream life, and never cry about anything. It’s certainly possible, but we all have something that is sensitive for us. Don’t assume people can brush things off. Again, it’s good that you’re not the type to put others down, just be aware that there might be a girl around you that gets name-called for this crap, and maybe you can see the situation differently. It’s not right if it’s about race, gender, sexuality, or status, how can it be right to hurt people just because of an issue like weight? It’s not right to hurt anyone, everyone has feelings. That was the whole point of this article, not for people to excuse it away because it seems perfectly acceptable to you or it’s not an insult to you. No one should be putting anyone through any of this. It definitely does happen, but it shouldn’t. As this article is suggesting, just make a change and see that the thinking you currently have is hurting other people, too. You’re not posting a comment on that Tumblr article that IS name-calling, you’re posting on an article that says stop judging and be good to each other. Did you realize that?