Lady-Parts, Rejoice! Vanessa King

Gosh, I love free things. They literally make me giddy. So much so that I started thinking about all of the awesome free things I’ve ever received in my life. And then I realized, I needed to make a list (because I love lists). So where better to make the list than on HelloGiggles?! I’m almost shaking with excitement at the prospect of this list because I know how much everyone else loves free things too, right?



2. Uh…

3. I’d like to use a life line?  I’d like to phone a friend.  (Wait, that costs money?  Never mind.)

Wow. That list is way shorter than I thought. Never fear! I just googled “what’s free in August” and found this blurb, which led me to discovering:

Washington, DC:  As of August 1st, 2012, Planned Parenthood celebrates a critical early milestone for women’s preventive health under the Affordable Care Act (ACA).  Specifically, the birth control benefit that begins going into effect tomorrow will start making birth control available at no cost to women, providing essential preventive care and easing the strain on household budgets. 

(I know there will be people out there who contest that it isn’t actually FREE. But, in the interests of full disclosure, and though I am happily paying taxes in the US of awesome A, let me say I am not allowed to vote in this country because I am still a Canadian citizen / non-partisan resident Alien. Yes, just like ALF, but slightly taller and only moderately less hairy. I may be from “The Land of Free Health Care and Bacon”, but, guess what, guys? Let me tell you! It’s not actually FREE up there, either – neither health care NOR bacon! Canadians still pay for their pretty fantastic health care coverage in the form of taxes. It’s just how it goes. There is no such thing as a free lunch!  We learned that in economics! But, time for your annual Pap-Smear?  NO PROBLEM, LADIES, CANADA’S GOT YOU COVERED. IN BACON.)

If there’s one thing I’ve learned in my decade-long pleasant assimilation into American living, it’s that Americans love life, liberty and justice for all and as of August 1st, that justice now recognizes our Lady Bits! So, my South of the Border friends (no pun intended), let’s all revel in our now co-pay-less, accessible female care, shall we?!  Frankly, our reproductive organs are really pretty awesome and have really been neglected for a while so now’s the perfect time to start showing them some love.

According to, as of August 1st, in a roll-out format, millions of women will now have access to basic preventive care at no cost, including birth control, cancer screenings, well-woman exams and screenings for diabetes and high blood pressure. Plus! Women no longer have to pay more for health insurance than men (on average, we have!  How RIDICULOUSLY UNFAIR), and women won’t be denied insurance converge for pre-existing conditions like breast cancer, having a C-section, or being the victim of domestic violence (the fact that women could previously be denied coverage because of an abusive relationship makes me ill). As of August 1st, under President Obama’s Affordable Care Act, 47 million women now benefit from guaranteed coverage of preventive services including contraception coverage without co-pays.

So that said, let me update that short list of mine:


1. FDA-approved Birth Control methods, contraceptive education & counseling.

2. Well-woman visits.

3. Gestational diabetes screening.

4. Domestic and interpersonal violence screening and counseling.

5. Breastfeeding support, supplies and counseling.

6. HPV DNA testing for women 30 or older.

7. Sexually transmitted infections counseling for sexually-active women.

8. HIV screening and counseling for sexually-active women.

When I was in college, I had to watch a film called CHATTERBOX. It was about a woman whose vagina started to talk. For real, this was an actual movie made. If my vagina could talk it’d probably be super excited about this no-copay access to Birth Control and it would probably dance Bollywood-style alongside a packet of Birth Control pills, JUST LIKE THIS:

Video care of YouTube

Featured image via Hugh Siegel for Planned Parenthood.


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  1. I dont think there is any way that the government should be forcing people to pay for other peoples birth control. Many people, particuarly those of the Catholic Faith are opposed to any kind of contraception and this mandate would force institutions (including Catholic ones) to provide birth control and sterilization to women on the plan if they so desire. And in doing so, it violates the conscience of everyone on the plan who is opposed to birth control because they would be forced to help contribute to the co-pay that funds the “free” birth control.

  2. I’m still a Canadian citizen / non-partisan resident Alien TOO :) I’ve lived in the US for 15 years now.