Single Girls GuideKeep Your Eyes To YourselfErin Foster

A few years ago, I worked on this movie that felt like a really big deal at the time. I was very excited to tell people about how I “needed to get to set immediately”. I was officially big time. If we were to fast-forward a bit, we would see that the movie went straight to DVD, but everything feels so much bigger when it’s happening. Which takes me to my story.

There was a girl in the movie that I was desperately jealous of. She had this ‘F the world’ attitude and a haircut I could never pull off. She had been on some hit show and had this energy like she just knew she was important. All the guys had a crush on her. I thought at least one of them would send a crush my way, but no chance, she had them all. When we sat in the make-up trailer together, I got nervous to talk to her in fear that I would say something uncool. I let her get in my head. I convinced myself that she was the next big thing, and I was some loser who got lucky. I started to wish bad things on her. I tried to draw people away from her. I may have spread a rumor or two. I didn’t want that ho having all the attention, I wanted it for myself! I feel pretty good about calling her a ho because honestly, she wasn’t all that nice to me. She ignored me on the regular. She made it clear I didn’t fit the criteria to be her friend. I was officially on HER movie set.

The point is that last night, I was watching some really bad TV show and noticed a girl who looked rather familiar. You guessed it. There she was, playing some lame chick in a pencil shirt with bad extensions. It was embarrassing. For her. For me, it was great. She was supposed to be taking roles from Scarlett Johansson by now.

The point of that is not wishing someone failure, it’s that nothing is what it seems at the time. You think someone else has everything you want, but if you wait long enough, it all evens out. It’s the times that you make a huge stink out of not being happy for someone that something sh**ty happens to them and you feel like a real assh**e. Being competitive is so unattractive. Literally, I can’t think of anything else that makes us look worse than jealousy. Mostly because you really can’t trust your instincts when they’re clouded by jealousy. Every time I have ever been taken over with a jealous rage or panicked that someone else was getting something I wanted, it has ALWAYS worked out differently than I expected.

The opposite sex can really get that jealous biotch to find her way to the surface. Guys can make the most even keeled woman go loco. We can turn on our best friend. We can be so bogged down by life that we feel like its our one chance to be spiteful and we start competing with a girl for some guy who is never worth it. I repeat, he is never worth it. Some people seem to have it all, but no one does. You have to be bigger than the pull. No one has what you want if it isn’t yours to have. And if you give it a little time, or a lot of time, you usually find yourself going, “ Oooohhhh, I wasn’t expecting that.”

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  1. I get your point but anyways…so happy for you that that girl got like, nowhere in life ;O)

  2. I dunno. Although jealousy can be bad if you become spiteful about it, I think some people have a knack for channeling jealousy into ambition. That’s not to say people can’t be overly ambitious; they certainly can. My point is, though, it’s not wrong to want to have your boss’s job or a wardrobe to match your stylish best friend’s. You just need to channel that jealousy into networking more within your company or reading up on fashion blogs and trying to define your own style. Remember that it’s about improving your own situation, not downgrading another person’s.

  3. This is the nail you hit the head of.

  4. Truth. :)

  5. Oh man, RIGHT before I was reading this I was looking at all my friends’ wedding/engagement pics on Facebook and getting soooo jealous. I don’t wish bad things for them, I just want good things for myself! It seems like everyone else gets the nice guy who loves them…what about me? But jealousy and comparison truly are the killers of joy, so I guess there’s nothing to do but try and be happy for them without being down on myself.

  6. “No one has what you want if it isn’t yours to have.” I really like that.

    It’s true though – nothing ever turns out the way you expect. I’m lucky, I learned from watching other people’s mistakes how being unnecessarily angry, or mean, or vindictive, or just jealous – is really just that – unnecessary. And it can get you in trouble.

    I do love it when things turn out completely differently than I expect. And the girl on the movie set – I’m sure she needed to act that way. If she didn’t act like she owned it – no one would’ve respected her. If you act like you’re hot s*** – people will think you are and give you the respect you deserve (the respect you should get even if you aren’t “all that”).

    But of course there’s a line between confidence and being cocky. Acting like a complete a** isn’t good…although I know people who are extremely successful treating everyone as being worthless unless they’re useful to their “advancement.”

    Ok – comment’s long enough.

    Best,

    <3

  7. I like this article, and agree with the sentiment that jealousy is a horrible thing to have, but I disagree that all girls are that way. I myself have found ways to not want what others have and never rag on them for having it, and that’s something we all need too. Even if that beautiful girl has everything, it’s no reason to be jealous, and if nothing bad ever happens to her, and she continues to have it all, try being nice to her, and complimenting her incredible luck. There is no need to hope for luck to swing away from her and towards us…