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3/15/2013 11:03 am
Queen of the Day Kate Moss Turns 50 Shades of Beet Red
Parry Ernsberger

Kate Moss once said: “Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels.” And as I sit here eating my Starbucks Veggie Artisan Sandwich, I BEG TO DIFFER. Kate Moss and I have little to nothing in common (including a penchant for food), but that doesn’t stop me from loving everything about her.

Case and point: This video of Moss reading an excerpt from 50 Shades of Grey:

Moss agreed to read from the erotic novel after the good people of Great Britain raised over £200,000 for the Comic Relief charity during Radio 1 DJ Nick Grimshaw’s morning show. (Side note: One Direction contributed to the same charity by recording a cover of Blondie’s “One Way or Another,” so in comparison, this is FAR, FAR more valuable. Even though I secretly/not-so-secretly think they are adorable. Also, their song “Kiss You” has become a welcomed addition to my gym playlist.)

Some things:

1. She does not age.

2. She’s such a babe. Even in a jumpsuit.

3. Her voice is unfairly raspy. I smoked for ten years and was more man-child than sexpot.

4. She TOTALLY turns 50 shades of beet red at the end, does she not? For someone who has spent the majority of her life being all saucy and naughty in front of the camera, I find it hilarious that reading one paragraph of housewife smut renders her squeamish.

I. Don’t care. What my teachers say. I WANNA BE A SUPERMODEL! (Not really. But I would TOTALLY Freaky Friday with Kate Moss for a week. Then I’d need to go back to eating.)

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3/15/2013 11:03 am
Parry Ernsbergerview all posts by Parry

Parry is a corgi fanatic, cheap wine enthusiast, amateur haikuist, b*tch, mother, child, lover, sinner and saint – She does not feel ashamed. She is not actually a mother nor a saint, but hopes you get the reference. Once upon a time, she was a music industry businesslady. Nowadays, she officially feels comfortable calling herself a writer. She has a weekly playlist newsletter, a Twitter, a website, an ill-updated blog and an online shopping problem.  You can get her playlists here, follow her on Twitter @parrypants or visit her sites,  parryernsberger.com and parrypants.com.

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  		1.

    Oh, don’t worry, Kate Moss totally does age. Google close-up shots of her without photoshop. No one snorts that much coke and walks away unscathed.

    Sarah Miller | 3/15/2013 12:03 pm

  2. I wanna be a SUPERMODEL..! Is that from the movie clueless..? and everyone is gonna wanna look just like Me?? I had that song stuck in my head for all of 5th grade! I actually did think of trying out for modeling, turns out I was too big or too short or whatever…
    I got the reference to the second song too.. on being or in her case not being saint or mother.. which was quite funny:)

    thanks for making me laugh!

    Elizabeth Jarvis | 3/15/2013 12:03 pm
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