Sometimes you just have to be a little out of the ordinary. Wild, if you will. Sometimes you need to just tell yourself, “Life is too damn short so I’m gonna do the damn thing.” But how, you wonder? Read on for some tips on how my friends and I truly just do the damn thing. Some may be out of the ordinary and out of the box. But what’s life without raising our freak flags once in awhile?
First off, If you want some onion rings, order them. And own those ketchup stains that now reside all over on your face and outfit because lets face it, onion rings aren’t the easiest food to eat. Don’t just order the mixed vegetable medley because that is what you think you “should do”. And when people give you weird looks for being a messy eater, just smile because you know deep down inside, they are just upset they ordered that boring side salad and not the crispy fried vegetable.
Secondly, don’t be boring and cliche when going out. If you happen to have a few martinis and see a stranded plant in the middle of a busy street, save it! Carry him around all night in your purse until you get home to where he can safely live on your windowsill. When people stare at you oddly when you pull a plant out of your purse in order to show the bartender that you are actually 21, just own that situation. Say, “Yeah I have a plant in my purse, so what!” because not only are you going to have the ultimate conversation starter with strangers, but you also just showed that garden dweller the best night of its life.
Thirdly, If you want to change your hair color, do it. It doesn’t matter your hair was borderline damaged and dark black. If you want that red hair, make it happen. Just make sure to snatch up a professional and amazing colorist who knows what they are doing. Oh, and be sure to set aside a few hours in your day because you will be sitting for a long period of time, reading trashy magazines discuss the latest drama on Teen Mom. But don’t worry, because when you are all done, you will hopefully go from looking like this:
Fourthly, If you want to take a guy out to dinner/text him first/ make the first move, then f***ing do it. Why can’t a woman can’t step up to the plate once in awhile, especially since it’s almost 2012? But just don’t do this all the time. We need to have a balance in our relationships. No sugar mommas, ya hear?
- Sushi dates.
Fifthly, (Note – I just typed Filthy! Whoops) If you want your first or 18th tattoo, go ahead and get inked! Don’t let opinions over the art, phrase, word, placement, what have you stop you from expressing yourself! Just make sure the parlor doesn’t scream, “dirty needles!!!” or “Hepatitis!!!” In other words, do your research! Also, whatever tattoo you choose, be positive it will keep you smiling every single day when you glance at it.
Sixthly, if you want to dance your heart out at a club/lounge/wedding/house party/concert until your heels bleed, well then, just slap a band aid on your feet, go barefoot if you must, and keep juking! Don’t forget, dirty martinis and $3 Jim Beam shots help the pain disappear.
Whatever you feel like doing, no matter how outside the box or how wild it is – don’t let anyone or any fear keep you from being the wild child that we all have inside of us. Because in the end, boring is not getting you anywhere in life. So ladies, I dare you tonight to put on your highest heels (even if you are already in your pajamas), blast some Foster the People
, order in some onion rings and dance your heart out until your heels bleed and stain your shoes a ketchup colored red. When in doubt, just remember to “Keep Calm and Just Do it!”