I sit here and write this from my couch, where I am half typing, half watching the glorious (and tragically, prematurely canceled) show My So-Called Life. I’ve watched it countless times before, but only recently has it hit me with a bit of an epiphany. You see, I’ve always been a Jordan Catalano kinda girl, and I’ve always related to Angela in the deepest way. Throughout my adolescence I’ve had my Rickies and my Rayannes, and my junior high girlfriends and I even had a favorite local band we’d pretend were the Frozen Embryos. And as I got older I still found that I totally “got” Angela. In my mid-twenties I still did. But now, suddenly, I am relating more to Angela’s parents. The English teacher. The neighbor boy’s Mom. The bus driver.
By television standards, I’m all grown up.
I don’t know why it took My So-Called Life to tell me I was a full-fledged adult, but it did. And since that moment when I said, “Whoa. Hey. Angela’s Mom- I feel you, I know what you mean,” I’ve been noticing my interests have shifted in other areas too. In fact, while watching Twilight the other day, I noticed that neither Edward nor Jacob is my Twilight crush. It’s actually Mr. Charlie Swan, Bella’s Dad. That hunky, mustached Dad. Yup, I’m Team Charlie. And I got where he was coming from. I mean, I wouldn’t want my child hanging out with a vampire, no less upstairs, with the door closed! I mean, really! See, I can relate. And then again while watching the Real Housewives of NJ, I found myself appalled at Ashley’s behavior, and thinking about how Jacqueline really needed to do something about that girl. Thinking her entitled self can just ask for her own place in the city after crying about the commute? Puh-lease.
It’s funny how little moments like these sneak up on you and kind of jolt you into your reality. And it’s not like I spend all day with my son not thinking about the fact that I’m a mother. But because it all just feels so natural and it kind of just happens, I don’t always think about it, nor do I think about the fact that I’m 29, a stay at home Mom, and happily living in a small town. Maybe this is just a new mama thing, but it still makes me laugh.
And furthermore, outside of relating more to the parental figures in movies and television shows, I’ve caught myself doing some curious things that really jarred me into that “I really am a Mom” reality when I realized what I was indeed doing:
1. Finding myself getting totally excited when I suck a really good booger out of Henry’s nose with that blue nose sucker thing from the hospital. I’m talking Super Bowl excited. My husband and I stopped mid-high-five the other day and looked at each other. “Are we really high-fiving to celebrate a huge piece of snot right now?” Yup.
2. This one is embarrassing. And somewhat creepy. But I kind of find those Anne Geddes baby pictures cute now. I don’t know if it’s because I’ve been immersed in all things baby for the past year, or maybe my hormones killed off all traces of my normal level of sanity, but just the other day I found myself admiring a photo of a chubby, squishy baby, dressed as a bee, set in a hive. Before you jump to conclusions, no, I wasn’t googling Anne Geddes baby photos- our pediatrician just clearly has a keen eye for decorating and they are all over the place. And apparently, I like them now.
3. And one more- the mama bounce. When Henry was a newborn he liked to be bounced and rocked all the time. He’d prefer to have me standing, doing a little back forth step and bounce, one foot to the other. Even though he’s out of the wanting to be bounced stage, I still find myself doing it…while I’m just standing there, not even holding a baby. In fact just the other day I was pushing a shopping cart in our local market and caught myself doing the step and bounce all the way down the pasta and soup aisle. And I only noticed I was doing this when a girl said, “look Mommy, that weird lady’s dancing past the raviolis!” Thank god for her though, or I would have found myself bouncing and stepping all the way through the store.
When it comes down to it though, even though I’m relating more to the parents in movies now, and finding myself getting excited over a particularly good nose suck, it’s not like I’m gravitating towards Bill Cosby or Mr. Belding. And even though I am relating more to Angela’s Mom, the Mom in me still finds Angela Chase’s dream boy right up her alley. So maybe I’m drinking wine out of a sippy cup, and maybe I’m finding pleasure in receiving jogging strollers for my birthday. My “Mom reality” still has room for a little Jordan Catalano, even though it was he who actually jolted me into that reality in the first place.
How about you?
Have any of you mamas had one of those moments where you’ve caught yourself watching a television show, or doing something so “Mom-like” and all of a sudden have that “Ohmygosh I’m a grown up/a parent/how did I get here” moment? Or even if you’re not a Mom, have you had one of those “ahh I’m an adult” realizations?
Do share in the comments below!