Avoiding Awkward Situations

It's Snot Funny

I know this is disgusting, but have you ever laughed so hard at something snot comes out of your nose? I hate to admit it, but this unflattering behavior has happened to me on numerous occasions. At first it was upsetting and surprising. I would stare at the person who caused this dilemma with disbelief. How could they do such a thing? I thought they were my friends! But after years of awkward laughter, I’ve learned to put a positive spin on this uncomfortable and often messy situation. I’ve come to terms with an occasional snot laugh and you can too with these techniques created to help flaunt, conceal or play-up your snot laugh.

Act Like Paula Abdul:

You know how Paula was always the most positive judge on American Idol? Well, that’s how you should be with your relationship between your snot laugh and your friend who caused it. Let the person know that this laugh of yours and the snot that’s come out as a result is one of the highest forms of flattery. Tell them they’ll know when a joke of theirs is top notch when it causes you to spit, cry or throw up. And when they’ve told the perfect joke, they should be prepared for you to do all three simultaneously. Then, instead of feeling grossed out, they’ll feel honored. They should also be amazed at your ability to perform all of these bodily functions contemporaneously.

Act Like David Blaine:

Pretend you are a magician performing a disappearing act… except you aren’t doing anything as glamorous or as complicated as disappearing yourself. Oh no, you are disappearing something much more important – you are disappearing your snot as well as your embarrassment. There are a couple different ways to do this depending on the objects you have at your disposal. This act is most beautifully done when you have a bag with tissues or napkins handy. If you have a bag, simply bend down and continue laughing, cover your face, go into your bag headfirst and dig out a tissue. Continue laughing into your bag as you wipe your nose. While you’re in your bag, make sure to grab another object such as lip gloss, a pen or an old receipt, allowing it to seem like that’s why you were in there for in the first place. Then, viola! You emerge from the bag, snot free, with an object of your choice in hand and dignity in your heart.

If you don’t have a tissue, wipe your nose inside your bag. Even though this might be disgusting and embarrassing for you, continue to laugh into said bag. Then pull out something extraordinary from your bag, enabling you to discount any negative feelings you may have about yourself. If you don’t have a bag, you can hide your face in a book, wipe your nose on a page and emerge magically from said book with a page ripped with your teeth or a bookmark. Other face hiding objects to consider are your coat, a cup or your shoes.

Act Like a Baby

I don’t mean you should cry like a baby, but just act like an infant in the sense that this is your first experience with snot laugh. You should stare at the person who caused this unfamiliar and strange phenomenon with a look of shock, apprehension and semi-amusement. You could even say, “What is this?” or “What happened?” or just a simple, “Huh, wuh?” After they explain this new occurrence to you say, “Wow, interesting, this has never happened to me before, I don’t even know what snot is?” If done correctly, with the utmost grace and elegance, your baby performance will turn their disgust into intrigue. They’ll be so fascinated with your child-like innocence and naiveté that they won’t hold the snot laugh against you. Make sure to keep up this façade so that it seems believable. So continue to be surprised by little things like sneezing, ants, birds, flashing lights, television and cars.

And, if all of these fail you always have the option of acting totally normal. Just get a tissue and like all other awkward situations, wipe away the mess and move on.

Featured image via.