It's Not a Vagina, It's a "Down There" Caragh Poh

Have you guys heard about that brave, brave legislator who was recently banned from speaking on the floor of the House of Representatives because he uttered the medically accurate term “vas deferens” when trying to legalize condoms and vasectomies for middle-aged, rich, white men in Michigan? No, of course not, because that is ridiculous for men to not have the option for birth control at their ready. What’s even more ridiculous is that Majority Floor Leader James “Jase” Bolger found it perfectly acceptable to take away State Representatives Lisa Brown and Barb Byrum’s ability to speak on the floor for saying the word “vagina” during a discussion about  abortion. Abortions, for those of you who are a little unclear about the topic, kind of involve the vagina a lot. A whole lot. The entire procedure is unarguably incredibly vaginal.

What Bolger and the other men who still think it’s okay to act this way have yet to realize is that some bad ass bitches in the 19th century found our united, womanly voice. The Susan B. Anthonys and Elizabeth Cady Stantons of the world began to talk and because of them, we’ve learned it’s okay to keep talking. For the first time, women were beginning to realize that no one had the right to tell them to shut up because of their gender. Bolger can try to silence us for whatever he deems inappropriate, but he will not win. Good will always prevail. Someday women will make a dollar to every dollar men make. Someday gays will be able to get married… to each other! Someday life-threatening pregnancies will be allowed to undergo a life-saving termination. Someday women will be able to talk about vaginas during vagina-centric debates without fear of punishment. No matter how many Catholic Republicans (and I say this as a woman who comes from a family of Catholics and Republicans) try to silence our mouths and bind our hands, they will be found in the wrong.

In an effort to take an incredibly lazy and completely unhelpful stand against this war against vaginas, I would like to issue an open letter Bolger:

Dear Jase Bolger,

Vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina,

Vaginally yours,

Caragh L. Poh
Certified Owner, Operator, User  and CEO of her own vagina. Which is very vaginal. On account of being a vagina.

I urge you to send this to Jasey at your leisure. It’s not a way to enter Susan B. Anthony levels of making change in a misogynistic, vagina-fearing world, but it will probably make Bolger really uncomfortable and that’s good enough for me. I like to imagine him sitting there, wringing his hands over and over, mopping his sweaty brow as he’s forced to face the word “vagina.” Feel free to e-mail him at JamesBolger@house.mi.gov, or maybe even read it aloud to him a really adorable sing-song voice by way of the toll-free 1-877-BOLGER-1. One may also send him a package of tampons at 164 Capitol, P.O. Box 30014, Lansing, MI  48933 if one so chooses.

Hey, also, one more thing: vagina.

Pic via emmett.org

comments

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  1. I betcha that Jase Bolger has never seen a vagina in his life. hahaha

  2. Haha, I have to say – this is so, so awesome. Everyone should be able to say VAGINA and PENIS as loud as they want! And vas deferens too, I guess. Featured this over at my blog, Actually Allie.

  3. awesome.

  4. Since women aren’t funny and vaginas are scary, James Bolger and Adam Carolla would probably make a very happy gay married couple.

  5. I sent the email! So much fun

  6. I just sent the email and I cant stop laughing at the thought of this guy opening up all his emails and seeing VAGINA all over the place!!!!!! LOL

  7. THIS was BRILLIANT! Laughed so hard…I even read it to my hubby and he laughed his derriere off! Thanks for this article ;-)

  8. Totally book-marking this article so I can read it over and over again! Also, so I can easily access Bolger’s email address and write him a vaginally strong, vagina-centered email! I have a vagina and I’m not afraid to shout it from the roof-tops!!

    “I HAVE A VAGINA AND I’M PROUD!!”

    Also, does Bolger not realize that every single female in fact has a vagina? It’s not like some unusual, rare creature! It’s a VAGINA!

  9. He looks like a guy that can’t say VAGINA

  10. AWESOME! Love this so much! Both my vagina and I appreciated it.

  11. So great and true! Way to stand up for women everywhere!

  12. I sent an email and got a lovely little automated response.

  13. Love your writing! I will also be sending an email with the correct terminology for a body part pertinent to the entire discussion they were having…

  14. vaginally yours, ….had me laughing lots!

  15. That was hilarious and the whole idea is ridiculous. What a brave legislator that guy is btw.

  16. consider it emailed. Thanks!

  17. Way to go with this!!! *virtual high five!*

  18. hilarious

  19. BRILLIANT. I couldn’t believe that the State Reps were barred from speaking after using a medically accurate term for a body part that is, as you say, kind of important in the whole abortion process. This is the type of article I love to see on HelloGiggles!

  20. THIS WAS SO GREAT!

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