It's Not a Vagina, It's a "Down There"

Have you guys heard about that brave, brave legislator who was recently banned from speaking on the floor of the House of Representatives because he uttered the medically accurate term “vas deferens” when trying to legalize condoms and vasectomies for middle-aged, rich, white men in Michigan? No, of course not, because that is ridiculous for men to not have the option for birth control at their ready. What’s even more ridiculous is that Majority Floor Leader James “Jase” Bolger found it perfectly acceptable to take away State Representatives Lisa Brown and Barb Byrum’s ability to speak on the floor for saying the word “vagina” during a discussion about  abortion. Abortions, for those of you who are a little unclear about the topic, kind of involve the vagina a lot. A whole lot. The entire procedure is unarguably incredibly vaginal.

What Bolger and the other men who still think it’s okay to act this way have yet to realize is that some bad ass bitches in the 19th century found our united, womanly voice. The Susan B. Anthonys and Elizabeth Cady Stantons of the world began to talk and because of them, we’ve learned it’s okay to keep talking. For the first time, women were beginning to realize that no one had the right to tell them to shut up because of their gender. Bolger can try to silence us for whatever he deems inappropriate, but he will not win. Good will always prevail. Someday women will make a dollar to every dollar men make. Someday gays will be able to get married… to each other! Someday life-threatening pregnancies will be allowed to undergo a life-saving termination. Someday women will be able to talk about vaginas during vagina-centric debates without fear of punishment. No matter how many Catholic Republicans (and I say this as a woman who comes from a family of Catholics and Republicans) try to silence our mouths and bind our hands, they will be found in the wrong.

In an effort to take an incredibly lazy and completely unhelpful stand against this war against vaginas, I would like to issue an open letter Bolger:

Dear Jase Bolger,

Vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina,

Vaginally yours,

Caragh L. Poh
Certified Owner, Operator, User  and CEO of her own vagina. Which is very vaginal. On account of being a vagina.

I urge you to send this to Jasey at your leisure. It’s not a way to enter Susan B. Anthony levels of making change in a misogynistic, vagina-fearing world, but it will probably make Bolger really uncomfortable and that’s good enough for me. I like to imagine him sitting there, wringing his hands over and over, mopping his sweaty brow as he’s forced to face the word “vagina.” Feel free to e-mail him at JamesBolger@house.mi.gov, or maybe even read it aloud to him a really adorable sing-song voice by way of the toll-free 1-877-BOLGER-1. One may also send him a package of tampons at 164 Capitol, P.O. Box 30014, Lansing, MI  48933 if one so chooses.

Hey, also, one more thing: vagina.

Pic via emmett.org

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