It's My Birthday And I'll Cry If I Want ToRivka Rossi

My birthday is in less than two weeks ago (Oct 30th) and I’m turning 30! I’m actually really excited to be considered a grown woman and I’m pretty sure that being in my thirties means that I am one finally. But I also am on the verge of tears daily about my birthday. It’s not the age part, it’s the expectations part. I have gone from being so grateful for all my friends to seriously considering ending all my friendships. I didn’t say I was a stable human! I am constantly filled with emotions and they usually are intensified around my birthday time. Why can’t I just show up to my own surprise party? Is that really too much to ask for?  I think that’s truly the best part of being a kid, someone just always takes care of your birthdays and gets you cake. If I could just have a toddler-themed party, I would be more than happy. Pinata me up, guys!

Reasons why it’s okay to cry on your birthday:
1. You want the day to be perfect and then you realize it probably won’t be.
2. Friends and Family are selfish (but also, really not).
3.You always think you would do more for others than they would do for you (and you probably will, so accept it).
4. You have to dress up.
5. Someone doesn’t call you or e-mail or Twitter you and it pisses you off.
Reasons why I won’t cry this year and just be cranky (for 20 mins, then get a life, Sophia!):
1. I have great friends and family. We all do. We all have at least one person and if you don’t, I WILL BE YOUR PERSON.
2. It’s just another day of the year. Let’s be real. Just maybe a little extra special because you will get to have cake.
3. I have cried so much the past weeks and now I’m ready to be over it.
4. I realized I am a control freak and probably wouldn’t want planning my own party to go any other way.
Any birthday party suggestions that don’t involve a ton of logistics, please send my way.
Also, tell me if you cry about your birthday, too. Don’t make me feel more alone.
Also, I just love the Lesley Gore song ‘It’s My Party And I’ll Cry if I Want To’.  But who doesn’t?
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  • Megan Younce

    girl you and I both had golden birthday’s this year! i turned 27 on oct 27th! happy late :)

  • John Beck

    happy birthday! hope you have a great one.

  • Allison Bravo

    HEY! We have the same birthday! I’m turning 22 this year and I’m dreading it. All of my friends have graduated from college and here I am still attending 8AM classes. Instead of a cake all I want is a college degree and an acceptance letter from my dream medical school. sigh

  • Stephanie Grant

    I will be 25 on the 29th and have to agree with the other October birthday’s…it’s hard having your birthday around Halloween! After you pass the age of eleven everyone in the world has a life that doesn’t revolve around your birthday haha. I definitely have to sit down and have that conversation with myself (it’s just a birthday! and you get cake!) every year. Don’t feel bad and make the best of it!

  • Joanna Lubbes

    OK, not reading the other comments like I usually do because I just want to say my peace because no one really knows how their 30th will truly end up…

    I would say from 25 on, I was actually excited about my 30th birthday because all of my older friends had an awesome time on their 30th, tons of people came out and everyone toasted that person’s move into “real” adulthood. I was genuinely happy to turn 30…I was excited about it’s prospects.

    But I made some dramatic changes at 29 that changed that scenerio forever…and I discovered that I should never envision the perfect moment because they just don’t happen…

    On my 30th, I invited a bunch of peole out to celebrate, a few confirmed so I was at least slightly excited that a few people cared (but lets be honest, I hoping everyone would have been super psyced) but I had a new boyfriend, that people were skeptical of (despite their worries, I am now 31…32 in exactly 2 hours and 30 days from now, I am completely happy with our life together)…only 5 people showed up to my RESERVED table at my favorite bar…and maybe only 2 of them I would have considered to be “good” friends.

    But the people I thought were my best friends were a no show, no calls, nothing…but truth be told they were in different phases in their life that prevented them from being there but at the time but I was so hurt…and I still have never expressed to this day how bummed I was that they were not there on what I perceived to be MY special night.

    At the end of the evening, I ended my birthday with a broken phone and a mighty guilty hangover of “what did I do to deserve this”. I spent a long time dwelling on this materialization of disappointment but the moral of the story is that I survived and I am better for it…living a life that is mine and no longer what I (and what I think most people) expect it to be.

    I hope that make you feel better. I know I do getting that of my chest!

    Happy Birthday, girl…enjoy whatever it turns out to be and never waste a time/a breath dwelling on it!

  • Joanne Garcia

    i totally cried when i turned 30 just a couple months ago.

    it’s normal.

    you’ll be alright! 30, flirty, and thriving!

  • Miranda B

    I turned 25 in February and everyone pestered me about turning half a century old! I was going into the dark abyss that is reading fashion magazines and eating fried cheese in my pjs, when I decided to throw myself a little party at a nearby bar and all of my best friends came out to celebrate with me, they came from near and very far! (I live in SoCal/Inland Empire and a friend drove from Las Vegas to celebrate that one night with me!) I then realized that as much as I felt like the day would be uneventful and depressing, I had amazing friends that were willing to go the extra mile to celebrate my quarter of a century birthday! =) Throwing my own birthday shindig ended up being therapeutic, in a way. =)

  • Kaitlyn Shore

    I turn nineteen (canadian twenty one ) in six days and for the last three months I’ve been counting down the days and then at the ten day mark I started feeling very sad and I just want one last year of youth!!! so much conflict!!!

  • Sarah Crichton

    Now Sophia, I’m going to have to truth bomb you here. You are an amazing, beautiful & clever woman, snap the eff out of feeling so sorry for yourself. Since you have a website dedicated to your BFF’s I’m going to assume you are liked by people and that you have friends. Also because you’re alive I’m going to assume you came from two human beings that are related to other human beings. Thus, you have friends and family….what are you complaining about??? Use your birthday as an excuse to get all your friends in one room. That’s it. Get excited, don’t ruin it for yourself! Laugh, drink, be merry.

  • Victor Saltykov

    this is pigeon country

  • Rach Voss

    Oooooooh man. I had a FULL blown panic attack – walls closing in/life flashing before my eyes – panic attack – in anticipation of my 30th. It was like – wtf…where did the time go?! What have I “accomplished?” Then I spoke to an acquaintence who was also turning 30. She proceeded to tell me that she “feels good about it and is looking forward to her 30s.” Somehow this did NOT make me feel better. More like – mmmhmmm that’s niiiiiice, cool story bro -_- *middle finger* I’m pretty positive most of the time but needless to say around my b-day i am emofaced.

  • Kelly Crafton

    I am turning 26 on the 29th……. and I am not looking forward to it really. Basically because I feel like I’m nowhere near where I had hoped I would be by now. I’ve also been saying that Lesley Gore’s song will be my theme song this birthday. lol But I really am going to try to not be THAT upset about it. Plus I took the day off so I can relax and be with people I actually really like. Can’t be too upset about that. lol

  • Sherry Holeczy

    i’m turning 30 4 days before you! i’ve been dreading it, too. just because i’m just not where i thought i would in life by now. i’m wishing time would slow down a little. i’m going on vacation with just my husband for my birthday because i really didn’t want to feel obligated to celebrate with friends and family when i don’t feel like it’s something worth celebrating. the only party i will be having is a pitty party.

  • Karen Chiara Dito

    When I was 26, a friend of mine who was 36 died. I vowed then and there to never lament growing older. I’m 42 now and life just keeps getting better! I hope you have a wonderful birthday xo

    • Sophia Rossi

      I will remember this comment always. Thank you xoxo

  • Tawnie Ashley

    I always cry irrationally around my birthday (well pretty much year round). I turned 20 a couple weeks ago, and I was really inspired by Mindy Kaling’s idea of giving back on her birthday. So the week before my birthday I donated all of my hair to locks of love and when I walked into dinner the waiter greeted me as sir and then asked if I was there for a little girl’s birthday party because of all the Hello Kitty decorations.

    • Sophia Rossi

      I just rushed to tell Mindy that story. That is so inspirational. I heart Hello Kitty

  • Elle Caddie

    I find it’s the high expectations I place on birthdays that generally makes them suck. That, and sometimes you just have bad days that coincide with your birthday which always makes your birthday seem so much worse (those dang expectation again). One birthday, a couple of years ago, I was rather depressed (I can’t remember why) and my best friend dropped round & just sat with me while I watched melancholy movies & somehow it was perfect. Another year she organised a surprise party for me, which I found out about the second she started organising it. So naturally I decided to invite a whole other group of friends (from a different social circle). It was fun because she got a surprise too, “I don’t know who invited them, I thought about it but I never did”. I went along with it, I let her blindfold me & surprise me & it was great fun. I told her a couple of years later that it was me who invited my other friends. You just can’t keep secrets from your best friends. We laugh about it now. Point is, like any other day, birthdays are a mixed bunch & a friend can make even the most sucky birthdays into fond memories.

  • Anonymous

    I understand you PERFECTLY! I love to throw parties for everybody, but when this is about me, I get super stressed out and hate it, Usually a day before my birthday I cry most of the night, and for some strange reason, I don´t like people gathering around singing Happy Birthday and full of surprises. Call me antisocial depressed hater kid, Sadly it´s true so stop saying cause my prozac and stress therapy wont work. Maybe i dont like my birthday because it remains me of clowns and balloon animals and frankly I´m terrify of themo_O.

    But Sophia don´t worry! I´m sure you´ll have a fantastica b-aday sionce you are a fantastic person!!

    • Sophia Rossi

      thank you

  • Jessica Weaver

    I turned 30 a couple weeks ago, and, while I had a great birthday, and even celebrated again last weekend, I ALSO CRIED! I cried because I felt so much pressure all the sudden; I just got married, I am trying to figure out when to have kids, my job is stressful, my husband got laid off, and all the sudden I just felt like I wanted to press the pause button, or the fast-forward…just anything to get past this weird feeling of suddenly being old (lol) and not having everything figured out yet. I got over it, mostly. :) I am learning to accept the changes in goals, in my body, and my values.

  • Kari Reynolds

    Now that you are 30 you have a little more weight behind your words. At least I’d like to think so.

    I turn 30 on November 21 and I thought I would dread it but really I am looking forward to being older, wiser and more understanding of life’s lessons than someone in their twenties.

    Thirty is a turning point – you can choose to embrace it or run away. I say make 30 your b***h – because even though 30 is a hard slap across the face and it stings like hell you soon realize once the sting subsides that you needed to be slapped in the face, it helps to ground you and give you a little perspective. Cheers and Happy Birthday Sophia Rossi!

  • Sarah Kirk

    My 30th birthday was mixed. I had a great time with two friends who had fireworks and made me a home made dinner. Then I went to a gay club with a younger group of friends and it was all about them. I paid for my own way in and another girl because she didn’t have cash and bought my own drinks. Some nice gay guys bought me some drinks. This year it was me at home alone with my cat. Kind of sucks not having ‘real’ friends. Then I just put on some cartoon and try to laugh it off.
    So fireworks and a home made meal – that’s what you should do for your birthday.

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