It's My Birthday And I'll Cry If I Want To

My birthday is in less than two weeks ago (Oct 30th) and I’m turning 30! I’m actually really excited to be considered a grown woman and I’m pretty sure that being in my thirties means that I am one finally. But I also am on the verge of tears daily about my birthday. It’s not the age part, it’s the expectations part. I have gone from being so grateful for all my friends to seriously considering ending all my friendships. I didn’t say I was a stable human! I am constantly filled with emotions and they usually are intensified around my birthday time. Why can’t I just show up to my own surprise party? Is that really too much to ask for?  I think that’s truly the best part of being a kid, someone just always takes care of your birthdays and gets you cake. If I could just have a toddler-themed party, I would be more than happy. Pinata me up, guys!

Reasons why it’s okay to cry on your birthday:
1. You want the day to be perfect and then you realize it probably won’t be.
2. Friends and Family are selfish (but also, really not).
3.You always think you would do more for others than they would do for you (and you probably will, so accept it).
4. You have to dress up.
5. Someone doesn’t call you or e-mail or Twitter you and it pisses you off.
Reasons why I won’t cry this year and just be cranky (for 20 mins, then get a life, Sophia!):
1. I have great friends and family. We all do. We all have at least one person and if you don’t, I WILL BE YOUR PERSON.
2. It’s just another day of the year. Let’s be real. Just maybe a little extra special because you will get to have cake.
3. I have cried so much the past weeks and now I’m ready to be over it.
4. I realized I am a control freak and probably wouldn’t want planning my own party to go any other way.
Any birthday party suggestions that don’t involve a ton of logistics, please send my way.
Also, tell me if you cry about your birthday, too. Don’t make me feel more alone.
Also, I just love the Lesley Gore song ‘It’s My Party And I’ll Cry if I Want To’.  But who doesn’t?
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  • Jen Harbourn

    My 30th birthday was on the 11th and I’ve been crying since last month. I actually left town to celebrate because everyone at home was so damn self-centered that they couldn’t even make time for a birthday dinner :( I was feeling old and alone, so I headed to Vegas to capture the last of my youth. Then I got to Vegas and was hit with the flu on my actual birthday and laid in bed crying. Worst 30th ever! I wish I could have a do-over!

  • Rachele Potter

    I turned 30 on the 10th. I’ve spent all year saying, “Oh, I’m THIRTY…” and then when it got down to it, I was like, “OHMYGOD I’m THIRTY!!!” Very intense emotions the past couple of weeks. I took the day off work and had a long weekend. It was just my husband and me, and I made him get an expensive hotel room in the mountains so that I could celebrate in style.

  • Melissa Osorio

    Yeah, I turned 28 earlier this year and despite my best efforts to enjoy it, it was probably one of the worst Birthdays I’ve EVER had. It should have been the best considering I was 5 mo pregnant at the time. Unfortunately the one person I could always count on let me down in the worst of ways. I think it may have messed me up so bad that it’ll probably be a while before I consider it a “happy” day again. Then again I shouldn’t speak so soon since now I have my son to share that day with.

  • Molly M. Halloran

    I turned 30 last November and I still haven’t gotten over it. I’m going to be 31 in, lets see…29 days…and I’m still worried about being 30. People older than 30 told me, “30 is so young. Turning 30 isn’t a big deal.” Okay it is young, I guess, but it’s SO a big deal. I think I’m still going to be getting used to the idea of being in my 30s when I turn 40, so I’m really impressed with your view on it!

  • Lynna Ho

    I spent all day of my birthday last year in bed crying because I had spent the whole night before crying. It’s really difficult having a Halloween birthday, no one ever listens to what I want to do because there are so many things already going on. This year, I don’t even want to celebrate. I just want a delicious burger.

    • Kaitlyn Shore

      I will buy you that burger Lynna!!! :)

  • Anna Dobben

    I fight so hard not to cry on my actual birthday. I’ll cry before, and immediately after (like, clock hits 12:01am and I burst into tears kind of after). Birthdays are hard! Just make sure you get awesome food that you love for every meal. Always makes me feel better :)

  • Wini Lo

    my birthday is oct 24 and i turn 29 this year. i’m kinda dreading it! i usually get pretty depressed on my birthday, but i do try to make a valiant effort to enjoy it. gimme cake!

    • Suzanne O’Toole

      I am 29 on the 24th too! A whole year to make twenties mistakes still x

  • Nicole Worden

    I cried before my 21st. I actually became quite depressed. Up until 21, you have all of those landmark birthdays (sweet 16, 18 means you’re an official adult, 21 means you can drink..), so now all I have to look forward to is retirement. Boo. You’re not alone, Sophia!

  • Leonie Smith

    Now let me redress a few worried comments here. Turning 30 was the best thing to ever happen to me. My thirties have truly been the best years of my life. I feel more assured and more capable than I was before 30. Don’t worry about it! Just enjoy!

  • Audrey Hemzy

    I don’t cry because of my birthday; I love birthdays! even if they’re not mine… I just love the feeling of “is my birthday and I can do WHATEVER I want to do!” and love to share it with people.
    I’ll celebrate your birthday if you don’t feel like doing it; don’t worry. Also, I’ll tweet you a lot on your birthday, just be prepared -I’m pretty energetic on Sundays!

    Yay, yay!

  • Stephanie Jordan

    there’s nothing wrong with a toddler themed birthday party (though jazz it up a bit if you want). for my 30th birthday, my friends took me out to an old fashioned soda fountain and afterwards we went and saw Madagascar 2 on IMAX. It was awesome. i hope you have an amazing birthday!

    • Sophia Rossi

      that sounds so fun! Thank you

  • Pavlina Orozco

    It’s been 2 or 3 years that my birthdays have become quite intense. So I cry for 2 weeks before them, spend the whole day being a mess and they leave me shaking for the next 3 weeks or so..
    I guess it’s ok because they have really made me a stronger, I learned A LOT from them, but they have also made me really afraid of them. I just turned 27, so I hope the best is yet to come…

  • Shannon Humphreys

    I’ll be 35 on October 30th, so basically, you in 5 years! Haha. But seriously? I’m loving my 30’s. Better than my 20’s. I hope you get everything you want, but mostly just have a great day an enjoy yourself!!

  • Valerie Jung Gilbert

    I’ve always hated my birthday. I guess it started when I turned 19. Being woken up on my birthday at 1am to apologize to my step-monster for drama she drummed up in her own head. Let’s just say that marriage never lasted more than 3 months after that. I spent my 30th at a local dive bar. I started drinking heavily before midnite and didn’t tell anyone it was my birthday til right at midnight. I broke in my 30th dancing on a cheap table with the 5 or 6 people that were still there. They still remember it too, and yes I did keep my clothes on. I would say my best birthday was my 41st. I decided I wanted to go play laser tag. I invited friends in their 20’s to their 60’s. Watching all these people run around in the dark, into walls, into each other, huffing and puffing was awesome! My mom tried to make us wear party hats and if it weren’t for the 5 year old, we probably wouldn’t of. I guess you can say that my best parties were parties that I planned myself. Just cuz I get older doesn’t mean I can’t act like a kid on my birthday.

  • Becky Fiet Bierma

    Yep, I cried before my 30th birthday, too. Honestly, 29 was a rough year in general for me because I knew my next birthday was 30. I was never one to care that much about my age, but somehow 30 seemed so monumental & I wasn’t sure how to deal with it. So, I say, go ahead and cry, let it out… it’s not going to hurt anything & then have a fun-filled, friend-filled birthday & celebrate! So, 3 birthdays from now I’ll be turning 40… wonder how I’ll handle that one?

  • Zelina Garza

    I’m worried about hitting 30. I have three more years to go and I know that will zoom on by and then it’s hello 30- are you were you thought you should be, more than likey no and that will more than likey make me cry.

  • Nicolas Alejandro Bonafina

    that’s true, I get really mad when i got 20 i really don’t like when you realise that you chanege in hundreds, also i get really angry when i want that someone notice that is my birthday and that person never realise until i told him/her that is my birthday but what really pice me off is when you compare your birthday with others birhday, it always make me think that many people never really care of you, then it’s all ok it’s only a birthday ill. Another thing wolud you be my person? i don’t have much people that i want to resive salutes in my birthday, also i will remeber to salute in your birthday. Best wishes here from argentina

  • Patricia Malke

    i’m turned 30 last saturday. first i thought i must cry but at midnight all my friends have surprised me. they made a firework, sang a birthday song and hugged me. i was so happy. i was not alone in this special moment. i enjoyed the time with my friends. if nobody would had come and would had have done this for me, i bet i would had cried. later the day on saturday evening i had the best own birthday party ever.
    i hope you have been a wonderful and unforgettable birthday and party with all your family and friends.
    best wishes Patricia from Germany :)

  • Jennifer Brockman-Haley

    i hit 35 a week ago today. i was sad because now i feel like i’m old, but happy because overall the day didn’t suck. you gotta choose your battles, and this didn’t seem like it was one. hope your day is at least as good as mine was! :)

  • Franz Hess

    I’m turning 30 next year. And I only cry when I’m cutting onions.

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