A mere two and a half years ago, lipstick had never come near these pouty little babes stuck to my face. Every year, I set an increasingly long list of New Years Goals I will likely never achieve, but at the end of 2010, I vowed to wear red lipstick and tons of sparkles.
My life changed dramatically with that little goal. My then-roommate and now-hairstylist/greatest confidante/Karen to my Jack (did I just call myself Jack McFarland?) told me there was only one red lipstick any woman ever needed. I emphatically took the advice and never turned back.
Did you know I am eighty-five percent more attractive with red lipstick on? It is not a provable fact, but I kinda think you can make up your own statistics if they only apply to you and your life. Did you know that the first lipstick I ever purchased was a special edition Wonder Woman tube? Did you know that I work at Starbucks and sometimes shmear my red perfectly across my lips at four o’clock in the morning and it is still poppin’ when I go to sleep that night? (I wash it off before bed, give me some credit.)
Did you know that M.A.C. rules?
CLEARLY, I should be a M.A.C. model, don’t know why they haven’t called me yet.