Have you ever eaten something so good, it spontaneously caused you to break into song before, after, and during the actual consumption process?
“You’re all I ever wanted, you’re all I ever needed…”
Was every bite just like walking backwards in some kind of wacky time machine into childhood again, where you all of a sudden had on LA Gear sneakers and a huge walkman in your hand and you’re walking down the street you grew up in Day-Glo in broad daylight with crumbs on your face?
“Cause I’ve had the time of my life, and I owe it all to you…”
Did you try to convince every person on Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr and IRL that you had discovered something so good it demanded a million Hipstamatic photos of it? Did you secretly make a video of yourself eating said item on your iPhone and will not show it to the world? Do you want to actively start working at Ralph’s grocery store simply to stand by the display of said food item and drop one into the shopping cart of every shopper walking by and shame them in front of everybody if they immediately say, “Take that junk food out of my cart!” How DARE you call the highlight of my 2012 year junk.
“We found love in an Oreo cookie place…”
This item today and subsequently every day is the Birthday Cake Oreo cookie. Eat it. Cherish it. Tell everyone to get on it. And if you can, eat it by licking the cream as hard as possible until you get to the sprinkles buried inside.
This cookie changes everything.