Item of the Day

Anyone else want to eat a gun when they hear someone say, “real women have curves”? Not because you don’t love (or even envy) women with a full shape, but because you’re very much a real woman even though you have a stick-straight figure?

That’s how I feel. My knees are bigger than my boobs, ladies. I have more arms and legs than I know what to do with, and my ass is so boney that it hurts to sit on anything wooden or metal for too long. One time I was walking down the street and some homeless dude hollered at me, “Wooo! There goes shorty with the 80s ass!”

You know what he meant by an 80s ass? He meant like a flat aerobics instructor ass. Okay? As if I hang out at the YMCA in stretch pants with a high cut leotard over them, an oversize top, a braided headband and my name is actually Donna. So that’s where I’m at.

I think this dress that I found on ModCloth is a potential solution for me. It totally gives the appearance of curves and has a flattering waistline.

I normally steer clear of anything that’s mostly white (unless it was made by Hanes, came in a five-pack and has a v-neck) because I’m a slob, but this is a dress that seems like it’d be worth acting a little bit more lady-like for.