A Darker Shade Of Pink

It Gets Better

For the past five days it’s been 115 degrees outside. I live in Phoenix and the heat here is not unlike being in a pressure cooker. Or a pizza oven. Or some other thing that is so insanely hot that you would never want to find yourself trapped in it.


And yet, here I am in Phoenix with record highs and last night, I went out at 12am (I felt like grocery shopping– what?) and the temperature in my car still read 105.

Those dog days of summer have arrived. It’s the time of the season when all the good teen movies take place. Those last few weeks before school starts again. It’s like all these teenagers panic and feel like they have to go live their lives as though Cameron Crowe was writing them.

I was no different back in high school. I was about to be a senior when Garden State was released and, although it’s not a teen movie, it was like somebody finally tapped into my brain and said, “Oh by the way, you’re a hipster. You just didn’t know before.” And that somebody was Zach Braff.

It was like before Garden State I didn’t realize my taste in music and my love of plaid all added up to mean one thing: Hipsterville. Honestly, I just thought it meant I was more cultured that the people who had never heard Belle and Sebastian. I mean, I went to high school in Phoenix, which may as well be The Middle of Nowhere culture-wise. The only culture we have blatantly displayed is located somewhere in our art museum on loan for one month from New York City. The rest I really had to go digging for, so Garden State came out at a time where I could suddenly find like-minded people at the movie theatre and go, oh I finally have something in common with someone.

And that’s all anyone wants, right? To be understood. That’s part of high school. Trying to find which group you belong in. If it wasn’t such a universal feeling, there wouldn’t be so many teen movies. I moved around from group to group a lot in high school. I never really fit in with the nerds (I had a hard time remembering the Star Wars planet names despite the fact that Phoenix is basically Tatooine). I was bad at every sport except tennis. I couldn’t play the violin or the flute to save my life… I was this writer who spent all my time in the journalism room, yet didn’t even know until I was nearly twenty that all I really wanted to do was write.

That may have been why I loved Garden State back in high school. I was still trying to figure myself out, I still kind of am, but at least I know what I want to do with my life. Andrew Largeman, Braff’s character in the movie, sort of just moves around in a fog in the movie, not quite sure what he wants to do- or needs to do- to get his life back on track. I was lucky that I didn’t have to really think about any responsibilities at the time and I could just move in and out of groups, trying on different personality masks to see which one fit me best and who I should be in life. It was only when I got out of high school and stopped trying to figure out what “fit me best,” and just concentrated on being the most authentic me, that the fog cleared up.

High school isn’t easy for most people and I think everyone sort of forgets that. I mean, if you think I’m kidding, just look at what a hard time Jamie Lee Curtis had in the remake of Freaky Friday when she had to take over for Lindsay Lohan. Or every “very special episode” of any teen centered show. If you want to really get into it, Buffy The Vampire Slayer’s entire premise (killing demons) was major allegory for all the crap people go through in high school. I think for that reason, there needs to be an “It Gets Better” sort of campaign for high school students. Because, it can seriously be daunting trying to fit in, so just try to remember that you don’t always have to. The most interesting people don’t fit in anywhere. Well, maybe except maybe Tatooine.

Image courtesy of Kevin Krejci.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=517027379 Nata Rubiano

    …The story of my life… Loved this!!

    • http://www.facebook.com/stephanie.sparer Stephanie Sparer

      Thanks so much!

  • http://www.facebook.com/aishmael79 Amanda Ishmael

    Stephanie, I grew up in Phoenix and now live in Tucson (where it’s only marginally cooler), so I know exactly what you mean. As a huge Star Wars fan, you totally hit the nail on the head when you referred to it as Tatooine. Think this will have to be my new name for it. Lol. Come down and visit Tucson! Contrary to what most Phoenix people believe, we have WAY more stuff going on down here. :)

    • http://www.facebook.com/stephanie.sparer Stephanie Sparer

      I have friend who live in Tucson and love it. I’m down there maybe once a year. I’ll visit again when the weather isn’t so bad!

  • http://www.facebook.com/kmendoza399 Katie Mendoza

    I live in Phoenix, too! And Garden State also completely altered my life. I think it came out before my junior year, but I didn’t see it until half-way through senior year. All I could think was “finally, someone out there somewhere gets it.” In addition, I too spent all my time in the yearbook/journalism room.

    Thanks for sharing. Its nice have affirmation that there are like-minded people on Tatooine.

  • http://www.facebook.com/lori.regattieri Lori Regattieri

    I was thinking about the other day how I really wanted to be normal in the past and how hard I did try to fit somewhere,even in College.I did this and screw my life big time.Running of from who I really was,from my sense of humor,my strog opinions,my musical taste and for men only make me suffer.Yet,I couldn’t understand that till I was away from everything,in some place totally different that I got along with myself.Finaly I was able to realize,it’s not a problem to not fit and there’s other people like me.Thanks 😉

  • http://www.facebook.com/megan.tommasi Megan Tommasi

    1. Garden State – it’s one of those timeless movies for me. It came out my freshman yr of college & it was life changing. Since then I’ve bonded over that with a boy (who I just recently broke up with) and I quote it constantly. Haven’t watched since we broke up, back in May, but I may pop it in tonight (that’s what she said) for old time’s sake.
    2. “it gets better” is something i’ve been trying to tell my younger cousins who are in high school. that shit doesn’t MATTER! Be nice, take care of your true friends and get smart. because in college and real life, you’ll get shit done when you’re smart. looks & your shitty personality can only take you so far.
    3. damn hellogigs, you’re on a roll with me today. i read HG & The Daily Love… daily. love it!

  • Becca Sands

    I get super defensive when people talk crap on Garden State. I LOVE that movie. For my senior theatre project, I just smooshed all of Largeman’s monologues together and acted them out. I felt so much like Andrew but just wanted to be a Sam. I still love that movie SO HARD and anyone who disses it goes immediately into my burn book. Love it, love this, love you!

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