Comments on: Is Chivalry Dead, or Maybe Just on Life Support?

By: Eshele Lee

Eshele Lee — Mon, 25 Feb 2013 03:04:42 +0000

Well written, Lauren. How much can you expect from a guy if he doesn’t even had the guts to defend you verbally?

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By: Marty Gould

Marty Gould — Fri, 08 Feb 2013 00:16:26 +0000

I’ve read your article. I’ve read the comments. And all I’m going to say is that if I were your boyfriend, I would have stood up for you.

By: Jody Saunders

Jody Saunders — Thu, 07 Feb 2013 01:56:30 +0000

This article has upset me in a lot of ways. First off, you say the phrase “Hot-tempered women of the world” left a bad taste in your mouth, but your original comment was clearly written when you were angry at your ex. I thought the comment was reasonable and very well written. He never attacked you personally or anyone else, just tried to show you a different viewpoint which you didn’t want to see.
As well, you spoke about people making the assumption that it’s the woman’s fault, but this situation had nothing to do with you being a woman. Those men likely would have yelled at you just as much if you had been a man. Also, why was it your boyfriend’s job to fight those men? You never mentioned the men actually hitting you, only threatening you, so clearly physical violence was not actually needed. I can understand feeling that your significant other should stand up for you, and if it had been your boyfriend that spilled the drink I hope you would have stood up for him, but it seems that you feel he needed to actually put his health at risk for you to be happy. Of course he was repulsed by the idea of it. He just found out that his girlfriend would want him to be put in the hospital when there was no need to fight. I go out of my way to stop my boyfriend from standing up for me by fighting others, because I don’t want to see him get hurt over something as trivial as a spilled drink.
I definitely agree with Alex Gloge that this article was a step back from equal rights, because you seem to think that you didn’t need to stand up for yourself because you had a man beside you. I also think your comment to him that violence needs to stop regardless of sex was hypocritical since the entire article was about you believing your boyfriend had a duty to fight because he is a man. I agree that no man should threaten to punch a woman, but I also believe that no woman should expect her boyfriend to punch anyone for her.

By: Nikita McInnes

Nikita McInnes — Wed, 06 Feb 2013 02:39:19 +0000

Speaking from someone who has experienced violence in a club, I can see the worth in walking away rather than directly engaging with someone who you believe has the potential to get physically violent (whether they’re a man or woman). I’m not saying that your ex would have been bashed had he done something, but sometimes it’s best to be cautious.

By: Hilary June

Hilary June — Tue, 05 Feb 2013 00:46:30 +0000

Lauren, you win.

By: Darryl Pring

Darryl Pring — Mon, 04 Feb 2013 22:41:28 +0000

I’m not sure why violence is even part of the conversation. Standing up for someone can be an intectual endeavour as much as a physical action. Reasoning with people or calling them on their shit should be one’s first instinct, especially in the instance you described. If you truely care for a person and see them being abused (verbally or otherwise), how could you not defend them? Because of the possibility of physical harm? I’d prefer that than the shame of not doing anything, IMHO. Regardless, buddy was a douche.

By: Lauren Elizabeth Ash

Lauren Elizabeth Ash — Mon, 04 Feb 2013 18:01:28 +0000

I agree, Alex, that this should not be a gender issue. As I mentioned at the end of the article. Violence needs to stop regardless of sex. But I disagree that my article was a step back from equal rights. I believe that as long as men are threatening to punch women in the face, it’s important that we raise dialogue and conversation about such issues. Thanks for reading!