You know that song by Jimmy Eat World circa early 2002 that goes something like, “Hey, don’t write yourself off yet. It’s only in your head you feel left out or looked down on. Just try your best, try everything you can.” Of course, who could forget that infamous chorus,”It just takes some time, little girl, you’re in the middle of the ride. Everything (everything) will be just fine, everything (everything) will be alright (alright).”
“Little girl”, hmm? So maybe 29 is a tad late to be in the middle, but then again, if I am going to with the lyrics of this song as my guideline, then I suppose it’s safe to say we’ve all reached the middle by age 7.
I am 29. Twenty-Nine. And I still feel like I am in the middle of this gosh darn ride! I do not have it all figured out yet, I am still paying rent, I’m still living paycheck to paycheck, I am not married and I don’t have any children.
Being 29 is funny like that. It’s such a lil’ tease, because I know who I am, what I want and more importantly, what I don’t want; in better words, I am ready for the next chapter in my life, but it’s not happening just quite yet. Like I said, 29 is a tease.
I like to take pride on living in the present and only focusing on the right now because you never know, the world can end at any given moment, but I suppose it’s human nature or just the planner in myself to focus on the future, and so that burning question arises more and more the older I get. When does this “middle” part end? When do I start seeing my life move in the direction to build the future I so desperately crave. Is it happening now and I am just too oblivious to see it?
I suppose that actually makes a lot of sense. And truth be told, I am actually just now realizing this as I am writing this and I sort of hate to admit it, but what if I am on to something here? What if at 29, I am still oblivious – well, at least partially (cue the epiphany please or drum roll or both) because even though I am still paying rent, I am renting a cute little house. Even though I am living paycheck to paycheck, it’s still a check I get every two weeks and more, so it’s in the industry I want to work in (unless I win the lottery then I am buying a farm and retiring with my 10,000 animals). I may not be married but I have been with my amazing guy for 6 years. I also may not have any children, but in the big picture, that’s okay, my two kitties are enough for right now. But I still get excited at the thought of knowing I will be a Mom one day.
Most importantly, I stated earlier in my spiel that I do not have it all figured out (but who really does? I mean, besides Oprah?). But what matters is that I am now much more aware of who I am and that’s really what it’s all about, you guys.
So the middle? Well, Google says the average life expectancy is 78.1, so if I divide that in half, it’s about 39 years old. I have a decade to go. I believe Jimmy Eat World should change the lyrics from “little girl” to, “It just takes some time, half-way aged women you’re in the middle of the ride.”
Read more from Rachel Bak on her blog.
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