Me: Oh my god, you’re Hayley Mills!
Hayley Mills: I suppose I am. And you are?
Me: One of your biggest fans!
Hayley Mills: That’s quite the compliment. Thank you.
Me: I’ve seen all of your movies! Wow, this is incredible.
Hayley Mills: I’m flattered, really. Which of my pictures is your favorite?
Me: Well, I grew up watching The Parent Trap and have seen it about a million times, so definitely that one.
Hayley Mills: That’s very kind of you to say, it’s one of my favorites as well. Were there any others that you enjoyed?
Me: Absolutely. Parent Trap II was great. I have it on an old VHS somewhere at my parents’ house. My sister and I used to watch it all the time. The Parent Trap in Hawaii was fun too. And the third one with the triplets…so great!
Hayley Mills: I’m sensing a theme here. Have you enjoyed any of my films where I don’t play Susan or Sharon?
Me: Well, I haven’t seen many others.
Hayley Mills: But you have seen some?
Me: No, Ma’am.
Hayley Mills: So really, you’re not my biggest fan. You just really like The Parent Trap.
Me: Yes, Ma’am.
Hayley Mills: I see.
Me: I have an original Parent Trap poster framed in my living room. That must count for something.
Hayley Mills: It doesn’t.
Me: I enjoyed your time on Saved By The Bell…
Hayley Mills: Yes, my proudest accomplishment. Thank you.
Me: (stares awkwardly)
Hayley Mills: You’re standing on my foot.
Me: Sorry. I’ll let you get back to your grocery shopping.
Hayley Mills: Thanks.
Me: “I’ve got a cake in my hands!”
Hayley Mills: That wasn’t even my line in the movie.
Me: It was a really great line, though.
Photo via MFAH.org