I’m Not Okay with Chris Brown Performing at the Grammys and I’m Not Sure Why You Are

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Planned Parenthood, no doubt, has a well-funded and fine-tuned PR machine, adept at galvanizing a population against a perceived injustice. They outmaneuvered Komen easily.

Does domestic violence have a less sophisticated PR machine than Chris Brown does?

Because to me, this situation isn’t all that different. Accepting that Chris Brown gets to perform at the Grammys because some people bought his album is no different from accepting that women without health insurance don’t get to be screened for breast cancer because some VP at Komen is anti-abortion. It may happen, but that doesn’t mean we should tacitly accept it. What if Chris Brown had hit your sister that night? Or your daughter? (What if Chris Brown had hit Taylor Swift that night?)

We’re accepting the message that women just aren’t that important, that their health and their safety and their self-respect is only important until it stops being convenient for everyone. We should be angry about this, and we should be angry publicly about this.

So I want to say this to anyone who is listening: This is not okay with me. A man hitting a woman in anger is unacceptable and is not easily forgotten or forgiven. A man who hits a woman in anger deserves to be reported to the authorities and prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law, regardless of who might be inconvenienced in the process. A man who hits a woman in anger may eventually be permitted to go on with his own life, but he is not permitted back in my life, even if it’s been three whole years.

Featured image via Helga Esteb / Shutterstock.com

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  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=553690152 Madison Zraick

    Agreed. It’s not right and it is a big deal. This needs to matter to people.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=516195042 Jennifer McIntyre

    I totally agree. I have boycotted anything Chris Brown since this incident. I don’t understand the entertainment industry just brushing it off and allowing him to continue to have a career. I equate it to a child doing something they aren’t supposed to and the parent laughing as they say “Oh, don’t do that.” It’s not funny, it’s not right, and it shouldn’t be happening. Will I watch the Grammys? Yes. Will I change the channel when they announce Chris Brown’s performance? Absolutely.

    • http://www.facebook.com/donjetaa.C.B Donjetaa Rbd

      So Fuckk yalllllll

    • http://www.facebook.com/melodicchaotic Michelle Donovan

      I’ll never watch the Grammys again. I mean, I’m sorry, but to me personally I am not willing to give my viewership to an awards ceremony run by people who apparently think THEY were the victims of this asshole hitting his girlfriend in the face. I have a huge problem with that, and if anything has cemented my opinion that the Grammys are about nothing more than record sales (god knows they’re not about talent), then this is it. I won’t support the Grammys in any way, shape or form from now on.

  • http://www.stilljennifer.com Jennifer Still

    The whole thing is, it’s not as if he’s ever shown any remorse, save for the ‘apology’ he gave months after the event which he was pretty much force-fed by his publicist. In addition, he’s continued to have violent outbursts, both homophobic and anger-related. Lest we forget the time he threw a chair through the windows at Good Morning America, ripping his shirt off like the Incredible Hulk when walking out the door because they had the nerve to ask him about hitting Rihanna. He’s also engaged in gay-bashing debates with one of the members of B2K, making fun of his apparent rape by the group’s manager on Twitter, among other incidents. He’s a disgusting human being, frankly, and I can’t believe any woman wants to be with him.

    I also don’t get how any mothers allow their teenage daughters to purchase his music and go insane over him like he’s the second coming. Way to teach your kids that domestic violence is okay, as long as someone is rich and makes catchy songs! “Team Breezy”, my ass.

    • http://www.facebook.com/t.simone.denn Tiffany Dennis

      Are you expecting a personal apology or something…he didn’t do anything to you. You don’t know how he feels. Did you talk to him when it happened…no. You just sat on the couch eating your bag of chips watching E news and getting some partial Hollywood story. Boo!!!

      • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=509041028 Dakota Katherine M. Lloyd

        Are you a Chris Brown fan or something? I know I for one wasn’t sitting watching E! news, I was contacting my local radio stations, asking for them to boycott his music until he apologized. He has continued to be verbal abusive to other women on twitter. He IS a bad role model for the kids/teens of today.

  • Molly Franken

    I went into this piece thinking, ‘Enough already’. I don’t want to read another bit on Chris Brown or his constantly swirling controversies. But, I read it. And I’m glad I did. What a smart, fierce and necessary message. Sasha, thank you for articulating what women around the globe are truly worth.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=798440053 Ashley Wilson

    Thank you so much for making the point that so many people have glossed over. Whether or not a celebrity relationship is our business (it’s technically not, in my opinion), if the media chooses to acknowledge the abuse, to then excuse his vile behavior is unthinkable.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=759104898 Emily Losey

    Thank you for this! I literally gasped when I read the quote from Ken Ehrlich and I’m appalled that people aren’t enraged by his statement that HE was the victim in this situation. To me, it seems like such an obviously ignorant statement and I hope that others will begin to recognize that. I too hope that Chris Brown is a changed man, but unfortunately his past is not erased. Furthermore, on the larger scale, domestic violence in America goes unnoticed and is not discussed often enough which just gives victims the feeling of being completely alone in the matter.

    Again, thank you for this post! I’d love to see more like it on HelloGiggles, which is my site :)

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=759104898 Emily Losey

      My favorite site *

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=2028364 Cecilia Amador

    Loved your post. I was just thinking the same thing.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=9101386 M.C. Silver

    Thank you so much for writing this post. Usher was right in pointing out that Chris Brown has not showed any remorse, so why are we somehow “supporting’ his “comeback”?

  • http://www.facebook.com/marcelle.karp Marcelle Ruby Karp

    Gawkers headline a few days ago: Chris brown to celebrate abuse anniversary by performing at the Grammys

    Thank you for this post.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=65800494 Meredith Bagdazian


  • http://www.facebook.com/amor.crespo Amorette Crespo

    thank you so much for being the voice of reason and using your platform to say what the rest of us are thinking!!!

  • http://www.facebook.com/danielascrima Daniela Scrima

    It really sends a message, not just the message “it’s okay to hit women” but you can still totally be the man, Chris Brown, and have a great anniversary where everyone claps their hands for your performance. He should have to perform with that photo as his back drop instead of dancers. I wouldn’t expect him to turn a performance down, but you’d expect more from the people putting this together.

  • http://www.facebook.com/INTJadis Simon Delott

    Every time that something positive or supportive of Chris Brown shows up in the Trending Topics, I feel outrage. I do not understand why anyone at all would like him, but I CERTAINLY do not understand why people putting together an event would even CONSIDER inviting him. Domestic violence is evil, and our world is full of it. We should show that someone who has committed such a heinous act can never, ever be tolerated or accepted, ever again. Otherwise, the message conveyed is a disturbing one.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1304280451 Holly Harris Scheer

    I totally agree with your post. It is outrageous!!

  • http://www.facebook.com/TRUCHAaaaa Stormaggedon Ozymandias

    I agree , this makes me so angry , we should not let this issue go , it was and it is a big deal.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1202111753 Stef Williams

    Chris Brown is going to perform on the Grammys because people will be angry about it and will talk about it prior to and afterwards for weeks. Also, there are a whole lot of people in the world who simply do not care about the situation and never did. Rhianna secretly dated him after “the beating her ’round the world” and has been linked to him in recent months. If we all stop talking about him and all of the other crappy celebrities out there who don’t deserve to be famous for being crappy people, they might slowly begin to disappear.

    Also, Lindsay Lohan’s opinion on any matter besides cocain, booze, jail and horrible career choices, doesn’t matter.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1474200029 Sara Troupe

    this article made my day. thank you for writing this.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=265501282 Natalie Borriello

    I could write for years about how absolutely fantastic this post is but you have already put it so well…I applaud your voice! I wrote a similar post at http://bellaluna.blogspot.com but seriously on behalf of women everywhere…thank you

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=265501282 Natalie Borriello

    I could write for years about how absolutely fantastic this post is but you have already put it so well…I applaud your voice! I wrote a similar post at http://miabellaluna.blogspot.com but seriously on behalf of women everywhere…thank you

  • http://www.facebook.com/msfefebaby FeFe Monroe

    Hollywood is obsessed with what other people SHOULD do. Everyone knows that what he did was wrong. But you can’t hold this dark cloud over his head for the rest of his life. All Chris Brown can do is move on with the rest of his life and you guys are acting like he should just quit his career and disappear. So far, he hasn’t gotten into any more arrests, he doesn’t do drugs, and he is still making great music. What else do you want him to do, die? Even Rihanna forgave him. Just move on, this whole HATE CHRIS BROWN shit is beyond tired

    • molls

      Yes, I can hold a dark cloud above his head his whole life.

    • http://www.facebook.com/dasha.briqueleur Dasha Briqueleur

      Wanna bet? I’ll hold a dark cloud over him as long as I please. He’s never been sorry for what he did, he’s never sought help for what he did and he’s not making great music and never did. And even if he was, it’s not a get out of jail free card. People were more mad at Michael Vick, and Vick showed contrition and apologized for what he did. I don’t know why you think that people who beat their girlfriends should be forgiven because you’re sick of people hating on them.

    • http://www.facebook.com/jellenporter Jenn Porter

      If he had been a normal, average, every day guy… he would have to give up his career and hang his head in shame for life. That’s what abusive people get to do. She forgave him because of her preconceived notions of him before the event. That she had loved him. He should have to give up his life, like every other man that abuses a woman or child should as well.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=599044281 Heidi Mijatov

      You know, this whole HATE WOMEN shit is tired. Let’s get *that* fixed, and then I’ll think about possibly caring about an abusive, unrepentant man-boy who throws violent, hateful, dangerous tantrums when he doesn’t get his way.

    • http://www.facebook.com/stepharchie Stephanie Archibald

      I’m sorry, he doesn’t do drugs? You’re putting the crime of drug taking on the same level as domestic violence? I would have a lot more respect for him if it was just drugs.

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