If You Like My Toe Cleavage, You're Going to Love My "Loub Job"

The other day, my friend asked me if my heels were comfortable. I replied “Oh, these? Yeah, they’re actually really comfortable.” To which he responded, “That’s what all women say.” I, of course, as always, was telling the truth. I like to avoid heels unless I can actually find a pair that I can wear all night without wanting to rip them off – which, by the way, I have been able to do with success.

I’m amazed by women who can wear trendy stilts all night and make it look effortless. At least I was, until I found out I was being lied to. The other day, I read this post in The Sun about the rising trend of women in the UK getting a specific type of cosmetic foot surgery fondly called the “Loub Job.”

“What’s a ‘Loub Job’?” you ask? Well, besides being an incredibly suggestive title for a surgery, it’s really nothing much. You know, just an itsy bitsy $600 surgery where a doctor injects some crazy filler into your toes, balls of your feet and heels so you can wear your $900-$2000 7-inch Christian Louboutins as long as you want and continue to emulate your favorite celebrities. Yeah, this is actually happening, and who cares if said surgery only lasts six months? Money is totally whatevs these days.

Okay, I do like Louboutins with their lovely iconic red soles, and I know my landlord would understand if I missed two or three months’ rent so I could finally own a pair, but really? Must we really go and have these expensive surgeries so we can wear shoes we may or may not be able to afford? And for what reason? Because we see some sweet celeb rocking them at the Kids’ Choice Awards? No, not on my watch.

I’m sure I sound like your mom, but who cares if celebs are getting the surgery and wearing 7-inch Louboutins? It doesn’t mean we all should. I’ll never forget the first time I read this quote: “Your body is a temple.” The fact that it was on the side of a Jamba Juice cup is irrelevant. The point is, we should respect our bodies and therefore should not inject them with fillers made of who knows what. There is a reason heels cause pain – they’re bad for our feet. Plus, the surgery sounds regrettable. I’d rather wear three layers of Dr. Scholl’s gel insoles.

Aren’t women in our generation supposed to be smarter? We’re better than making these silly and possibly/definitely health threatening inflictions to our bodies-by choice no less. We read about the painful practice of Chinese foot binding in history class. We grew up in a post fen-phenworld. We’re better than these surgeries that make us feel sexier or closer to celeb status. It’s time we all got out of the tanning bed, looked in the mirror and said “Self, I’m better than ‘Loub Jobs’.”

After you’ve tried to say that without laughing, let me know what you think. Are these surgeries okay? Would you get a “Loub Job”? Should people be spending so much money on something that is unnatural and so expensive? How many of the Real Housewives already have this surgery? If you already have it, why do you love it? Will the cellphone bra cause breast cancer? Why did Victoria Beckham leave her son Brooklyn at home? Why does my family’s dog Alice love baby carrots? So many questions, that NEED answers.

Images via Featureflash / Shutterstock.com and celebitchy.com

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1423625649 Katie Sumner

    I think heels are a sneaky gimmick men have invented in order to make us easier to stalk and catch, so I heartily disapprove.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1267638101 Ena Gutierrez

    My dogs love baby carrots too! Alice probably loves them because they taste great and kinda sweet! LOL Anyway I do not see a point to the surgery. There are plenty of cute heels that do not require body modification and that are comfortable. :-)

  • http://www.facebook.com/juliahays Julia Hays

    If people have too much money maybe they should find something better to do with it than this. Even if I won the lottery I wouldn’t consider it.

  • http://www.facebook.com/lisa.in.the.evening Lisa Elizabeth Wieczorek

    I have a hard time with heels which is why I just wear more wedges. You still get that height and it’s super comfy. Like for real comfy.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1612961 Caitlin Fitzgibbons

      I totally agree with the wedge solution – it’s my go to as well!

  • http://www.facebook.com/HeatherRocknDailey Heather Dailey

    I’m sure only people who rely partly on self image as a career would do this. And besides that, women these days may or may not be smarter but the line between good and bad, and healthy or fatal… is very thin.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=32606444 Nicole Ashley

    My dog loves baby carrots because she loves things that she can “crunch” :)

  • http://www.facebook.com/rachel.pody Rachel Pody Allen

    this just makes me laugh… I LOVE heels.. but I am not going to alter my body for them outside of a good workout and ankle strengthening exercises.. if people feel that this is necessary.. I would ask them what is driving their self worth and satisfaction.. granted that may be because I am in a counseling field but still this is a little over the top..

  • http://www.facebook.com/deb.gal1 Debbie Galo

    Wow the lengths that people go to, to reach what our cultural norm calls “beauty”.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001854596154 Engelin Frei

    To me, it sounds as if some doctor just thought of some ridiculous way to make money from women who have the means to spend it on silly surgeries that may seem necessary… just one big hoax

  • http://www.facebook.com/Princess.Pixie.Tits Jess Reillybean Wrycraft

    I would – because I love beautiful shoes but i’ve been cursed with a very deep intread in my foot, concentrating the pressure on my feet, so it’s very difficult for me to wear shoes or stand for a long time. If this ‘loub job’ would stop the pain, and spread out the pressure properly on my feet, i’d gladly do it. Providing I was rolling in it, of course.

  • http://www.facebook.com/andrea.hernandezvenegas Maria A. Hernandez-Venegas

    Man, oh, man, that’s crazy! Why not just use gel inserts? They’re so much cheaper. I love heels and, aim to walk in a 7-inch heel like a Kardashian, but I don’t think I would ever inject something into my feet.

  • http://www.facebook.com/erinjeannexo Erin Kowalsky

    I have a pair of the Helmour 100 Louboutins and I wore them once [for New Years] and I had to change my shoes after 15 mins and never wore them again! They hurtttttttttttttt like hell!

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1612961 Caitlin Fitzgibbons

      So Erin, having felt the pain these shoes cause…would you get the “loub job?”

  • http://www.facebook.com/stephanieprecourt Stephanie Wilson Precourt

    I had not heard of this! Wow. I feel like a granny but I love my Sofft heels. :) I call them my Naturalizers.


  • http://www.facebook.com/colleenhayes218 Colleen Hayes

    I love wearing a sexy pair of heels but ONLY if they’re comfortable. And no freaking way in HEY-YELL would I inject anything into my feet!

  • http://www.facebook.com/ConnieFoggles Connie Melucci Roberts

    Not gonna happen here. The only surgery I’ll have is medically necessary, unless something awful happens to me like I fall off a pair of heels onto my face.

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