How can I tell my daughter she can’t come somewhere with me without her begging and pleading and whining for me to take her with me?
Sometimes I try to tell her she can’t come where I’m going, that mommy needs “alone time” or “mommy time”, but that just gets me a blank stare and a “Mommy, I want to be with you.”
The other day, I did the unthinkable. I took my 1-year-old and my 5-year-old out with no stroller for the 1-year-old and no husband and no mom and no one to help me to a department store. I needed to get my friend a gift certificate for her birthday. Also, I ran out of mascara and that’s one of my worst fears.
I can’t believe I forgot the stroller. I got out of the car holding the baby and telling Sunny to stay still until I got my purse and diaper bag out of the car. She held my hand as we walked into the department store and the three of us walked up to the makeup counter to ask for a gift certificate. Sunny freaked out when she saw all of the shiny perfume, makeup and creams. She started opening them one by one. I begged her to stop while my baby was alerting me to the fact that she had just peed in her diaper.
I suddenly began to feel like Octomom. I literally felt as if I was standing at this counter with 14 children. I started sweating and getting a sharp shooting pain in my back from holding the baby and my two bags. The lady at the counter looked at me with sympathy and asked if I minded waiting an extra ten minutes as the gift certificates had been misplaced and she had to go look for them upstairs.
While I waited, two saleswomen asked me if I wanted some water or needed anything at all and pulled up a chair for me. When I got back into my car, I felt so relieved you can’t imagine.
The truth is, sometimes I don’t want to go run errands with my kids. At the end of these types of days I look forward to a night out with friends or a night out with my husband. My daughter is completely shocked and offended when I tell her she’s not coming with me.
So I have come up with a perfect solution. Surely she doesn’t want to come join me in getting a shot at the doctor’s office!
Ladies, do not feel guilty about going out without your kids. They will be fine. They get a bit dramatic right before you leave the house. Don’t fall for it. They need to learn boundaries and they learn them by constantly testing them. Don’t make up excuses about getting shots or whatever. Teach your kids that they’ll be fine w/o mommy for a few hours. And that you’re allowed to have a life outside of their young world!
Oh Julia!!! Being a mom is rewarding but those times make me feel sooo guilty!!! Guilty for wanting to get a babysitter just to go to the store, then guilty for making my baby girl go through the ins and outs of car seat to stroller to store,then stuck in the stroller for the time that it takes to do what I have to do!! Then back to the car seat, turned completely around and in my mind hot and bored!!! Just seems so much easier to never leave the house!!
I feel your pain, Julia. I have a two year old, and I really dislike going to the grocery store with him. I haven’t been to the hairdresser in almost a year! Weekends at daddy’s are my lifesavers. But by then all I want to do is catch up on sleep, or spend some time in solitude, with a good book or a sappy romantic comedy.