Big Booty Power Hour

Ice Loves Coco Episode 104: Baby Got Business

Because Coco and Ice T want to make all of us jealous of their perfect relationship, they start off the episode with a leisurely stroll in the dog park with their pet testicles. I’m sorry, I mean their pet English Bulldog. I know for a fact that I am not the only one to notice the bright pink, jiggling mass that appears on the screen so often one can only assume the camera person is seeking them out. I know this for a fact because I’ve asked several people and not a single person said no, they did not notice the gigantic reproductive organs bouncing all over the screen.

This is where I would put a picture of Spartacus’ balls if I wasn’t so classy

As a particularly hyperactive mutt approaches, Coco warns Ice that she needs to leash Spart. Evidently, they have had trouble with this dog before. This offends T to the point where he feels the need to insult the canine. “That’s an ugly dog. Little crackhead dog.”

The dog overheard T’s insults and decided to kill himself by jumping over the fence. Let’s not fault Ice completely, I’m sure the dog battled a long and severe war with depression and anxiety before this tragic event.

Not one to just sit by and watch a dog kill himself over her husband’s bullying ways, Coco hops the rocks to follow the depressed and misguided pup. She eventually saves him, handing the poor thing over to his mother. I hope he gets the help he needs. I have the number of a good therapist if he needs it.

Karma must be on Coco’s side after saving that dog, because her dreams are coming true. Her dog has just landed his first modeling gig. The look on Ice’s face as she excitedly tells the camera about the photo shoot means everything to me. He’s so happy for her, and knows exactly how dumb it is, and exactly how little that matters. Girls, let’s just give up, for we will never find a man as good as rapper-actor Ice-T.

Coco decides to take a plane ride over to LA to check out the production of her new clothing line, Licious. The couple walk in looking like the definition of “swag”.

Though it may seem like a stolen plot line from Three’s Company or Laverne & Shirley, there is a bumbling misunderstanding that results in a hilarious mistake:


Yes, her clothes say “Licous”.

The people in charge of the production of her line promise that the clothes will be fixed just before the start of her launch party, but Coco is so upset that she has to go back home, slip on a silk robe and vent her frustrations to T while providing a hand-made headrest for Spartacus to sleep on.

I totally “get” Coco when it comes to things like that. Sometimes when I notice my dog is scratching her ear, I’ll walk over and scratch it for her. I think she appreciates it.

When Ice takes Spartacus to his first training session to prepare for his shoot, he finds out that Spartacus will do virtually anything for pieces of cheese. This is one of the many things Spartacus and I have in common.

I made it almost halfway through without posting a picture of Spart’s balls.

But all the training appeared to be for naught when it came to Game Night. Though chihuahua Tobasco faired well in front of the lens with his signature “come hither” look, and the other doggy dudes performed equally lovely tasks, Spartacus just couldn’t seem to pull it together and refuses his commands of sits and stays.

I thought that this was the best thing to ever be shown on television.


Until I saw this.

Ice T sits off to the side and, ever the intellectual, figures out the missing component to this equation: cheese. And with a bit of offered cheddar, Spartacus begins to act like the gentlemen we all know lies within him.


When Coco’s big day arrives, her clothes are nowhere in site. She has a room full of curvy models with nothing to cover their curves. What happened? Sparkle happened.

She wasn’t authorized to pick up the packages of clothes, until Coco authorizes to do so. Using magic and wizardry, Coco somehow gets her authorization to the mailing service center making everything okay in the end. Or she uses the telephone. I forget which.

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