Notes From The Powder Room

I Will Never Stop Trying to Make Double Eyeliner and Side Ponytails Happen

The great thing about trends is that they always make comebacks and I think that we should devote the rest of 2011 to making double eyeliner come back onto our eyelids and into our lives. While we’re at it, we also need to take a minute to re-examine our stance on the side ponytail. In case you were wondering, I’m Team Side Ponytail.

Anyway, a little known fact about me is that I was the only baby born in the United States wearing eyeliner. It’s as much a part of me as my right hand is, if you want to look at it poetically. Recently, I’ve decided to take my obsession to new heights and wear double eyeliner.

To make this as painless as possible, what you’re going to do is apply an unreasonably thick layer of colored eyeliner to your lids. No, thicker than that. Even thicker. When you think you’ve gone too far, make it a little thicker and then call it a day. Perfect. For my colored eyeliner, I chose Make Up For Ever Aqua Liner in #8, Iridescent Electric Purple.

The second and last step is to apply your black liquid eyeliner of choice over the top along your lashline as usual. Touch up any imperfections, throw on some mascara, and that’s it! You’re done. The result is, in a word, awesome. As I’ve been saying for months, who needs eyeshadow?

This eyeliner is also super waterproof. Here’s a before and after of it applied to my hand — on the left, it’s untouched. On the right is after I attractively spit on it and rubbed furiously. Conclusion: you can wear it on a rainy day without being paranoid. Alternate conclusion: I’m disgusting.

(A quick note about Make Up For Ever Aqua Liner: the first time I tried it, it was clumpy and flaky and made me look vaguely diseased. Then I read the fine print on the tube, which says shake before use. Don’t forget to do this! It changes everything.)

Before you freak out, I already know what you’re thinking. You’re probably wondering when I got glasses (6th grade) but more importantly, how my hair grew three inches since the last time I posted a picture of myself.

I stumbled upon my new favorite hairstyle yesterday when I was leaving to go bowling and needed it to be at least semi-up for the occasion and do something other than irritate me. Unhappy with a full ponytail or bun because my face was having a particularly unforgiving Round Day, I improvised with bobby pins and created a flattering lie. I call it “The Half-Up-Side-Ponytail” or “The HUSP”.

To make your own HUSP, you’re going to need bobby pins and hairspray. If you’re feeling fancy, you can curl your hair prior to all of this. Otherwise, all you need to do is collect about half of your hair and pin it directly behind one of your ears so it resembles a faux messy ponytail. Then, bring the rest of your hair around the side of your neck (you can let it do its own thing or pin it in place). Lastly, use your hairspray liberally. Welcome to the laziest hair extension illusion of all time.

I have no idea what The HUSP looks like from the back but I don’t really care because I can’t see myself from the back. However, as a precautionary measure, take care to position yourself with your back to a wall whenever possible.

Featured image via Temptalia.

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