I Wanna Have a Sister Wife!

Let’s get some things straight. You know how some girls are “relationship people?” Whenever they describe themselves, they talk about how they are constantly in relationships and how they just jump from one to another. I am not that girl. I am the opposite of that girl. I jump from not being in a relationship straight into another bout of not being in a relationship. I know – my life is soap opera status.

I mean, in my brain I am pretty happy as a single lady but The Bachelorette tells me that I’m not. Luckily, while channel surfing one evening I stumbled upon a TLC gem. You see, TLC is a comfy bed for me. I always know that I am going to get either little people or baking (or the jackpot- little people baking on the show Little Chocolatiers)! Hence my surprise when I stumbled upon a new show called Sister Wives – and it was an all-day marathon to boot.

If you aren’t familiar with the show, lemme give you some background. Basically, this show is like Big Love come to real life! Cody Brown (who sports a male lion’s mane) is married to 4 ladies. But here’s the catch: all the ladies know about it and are totally down with it. The 4 wives are Meri, Janelle, Christine and Robyn (in that order, in case you are curious) and together they have 16 kids! Whoa! (Blossom reference!)

They all used to live in Utah in one gigantic house (it was basically 3 houses in 1) and then the state started a legal case against them so they high-tailed it to Sin City. Now each wife has their own house, which makes me sad. I want them to be together. And, spoiler alert: Robyn (the new wife) is pregnant! Now, these guys aren’t old school. No crazy braided hair poofs or pioneer dresses. These are full-on modern ladies.

At first I was all judgey-wudgy about their lifestyle. Like, who are these women who would share their man? They must be crazy! And then I told myself that I needed to calm down. After watching the show for less than 5 minutes, I figured out that these ladies totally rule that roost! And they get to be with their BFFs all the time! This is a best-of-both-worlds situation!

After pondering my non-relationship stint, I decided that I think I should dive right into polygamy. And I choose Katy Perry as my sister wife! Katy gets the gig because she seems fun and has fun clothes. Okay, that’s a lie. I choose Katy because she is married to Russell Brand and I think it would be so fun to be married to him, even though he can be a bit much sometimes. That’s where Katy comes in – I would just send them away and get in my “leave me alone or I’ll scratch your eyes out” time. Win-Win-Win! (or in the case of the Browns, win-win-win-win-win). So, if you run into Katy and Russell this week, let them know what’s up. Meanwhile, I’ll be working on the blueprints for our new 2-in-1 house.

Thanks so much!

Reader’s pick from Alison Brough. Check her out at: alisonian.tumblr.com

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1318210631 Lara Streeter

    They should have stayed in one house to share the chores and kid sitting!!

    • http://www.facebook.com/frannyvasquez Frances Vasquez

      i was thinking the same thing!!

  • http://www.facebook.com/jocelynplease Jocelyn Dugan

    Aww- it sucks that can’t live together anymore. I imagine it’s much more expensive. I guess it’s cool that they get their own space- but it’s not the same.

    On a different note- is there anything in Las Vegas that ISN’T legal?

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=505915145 Alison Brough

      I know! I’m pretty sure Las Vegas operates under anarchy. LVPD officers just play penny slots all day.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1346316826 Katelin Turner

      Actually, polygamy is illegal in Las Vegas among many other things. Prostitution, drugs, having a lottery, many things are illegal.The problem is that so many people come and go that it is impossible to catch everyone. I’m sure this family will have problems in Vegas, just not as many as they did in Utah, seeing as it is a Mormon state mostly, and that they work very very hard to stop polygamy. I have lived in Las Vegas, it really isn’t as bad as people think.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1240748726 Sam Jo Meneses

    I would love to give my husband a list of all the wives he needs to go get. 1 for laundry, 1 for cleaning, and 1 to work. I would take on the responsibility of the cooking because that only seems fair. Oh and I am sure I will find a way to get over my resentment that he is banging them all.

  • http://www.facebook.com/frannyvasquez Frances Vasquez

    now let me first start off by saying i LOVE TLC too! i was talking to my sister about this situation & really came up with more pro’s then con’s. if i could have a part in the decision making of the wife i would so do it. but the only con that really didn’t sit well with me was the time to myself. 16 kids around, that’s a whole lot of people in your face.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=721423680 McCall Linares

    i would pick a sister-wife like janelle…the one who works full-time. if i could quite my job and stay home with my kids (and hers) that’s who i’d pick. and i think i’m a little cuter which would also help with the not-being-jealous part. just sayin’. 😉

    loved this!

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=505915145 Alison Brough

      We should be sister wives then because I would pick a wife like Christine because I would want to go to work all day and not be around screaming kids.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1195393042 Olivia Colsman Langford

    it’s so strange to me that about 125 years ago, people were being persecuted relentlessly for living this way, but now it’s considered entertainment and even maybe possibly a good idea. Too bad there wasn’t TLC channel in the 1870’s.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=505915145 Alison Brough

      Possible shows: “MTV Cribs- Jesse James,” “Keeping up with the Rockefellers,” “We Didn’t Start the Fire: Chicago,” “Shark Tank with Thomas Edison.”

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001056772779 Sophie Del

    OMG!!! I’ll join you!! marring Russell Brand would be the coolest thing ever, not only he’s funny he’s super hot! and Katy Perry, I mean she’s Katy Perry no need to say more… JK! I dont agree with this kind of lifestyle, though I respect it.

  • http://www.facebook.com/meeka87 Rachael Fischer

    This show is so amazing. I always find the things they get jealous about so bizarre. Like, Cody helping to pick Robyn’s wedding dress is an issue, but Cody sleeping in a different bed every night is a-ok.

  • http://www.facebook.com/jessica.b.lund Jessica Lund Jensen

    this is really funny b/c being a utah resident everyone thinks we are so wierd so i am glad we are all cool with it.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000043190828 Cheryl Paskins

    This is so funny, and your alisonian.com blog is wild! HelloGiggles, please keep posting Alison Brough’s articles!!

  • http://www.facebook.com/Karebear088 Kari Johnson

    thanks, but no thanks. i’ll take four husbands for myself instead. One can work, one can clean, one can watch the kids and the fourth can cook while i spend the day contemplating who i want to sleep with each night.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000241360344 Shauna Paskins Giles

    This is halarious. I give it a 10.5 thumbs up to Alison, Hit it right on the head. I showed it to all my friends. Alisonian.tumblr.com is a riot everyone should read it. Keep up the funny stuff!

Need more Giggles?
Like us on Facebook!

Want more Giggles?
Sign up for our newsletter!