I Wanna Have a Sister Wife!

Let’s get some things straight. You know how some girls are “relationship people?” Whenever they describe themselves, they talk about how they are constantly in relationships and how they just jump from one to another. I am not that girl. I am the opposite of that girl. I jump from not being in a relationship straight into another bout of not being in a relationship. I know – my life is soap opera status.

I mean, in my brain I am pretty happy as a single lady but The Bachelorette tells me that I’m not. Luckily, while channel surfing one evening I stumbled upon a TLC gem. You see, TLC is a comfy bed for me. I always know that I am going to get either little people or baking (or the jackpot- little people baking on the show Little Chocolatiers)! Hence my surprise when I stumbled upon a new show called Sister Wives – and it was an all-day marathon to boot.

If you aren’t familiar with the show, lemme give you some background. Basically, this show is like Big Love come to real life! Cody Brown (who sports a male lion’s mane) is married to 4 ladies. But here’s the catch: all the ladies know about it and are totally down with it. The 4 wives are Meri, Janelle, Christine and Robyn (in that order, in case you are curious) and together they have 16 kids! Whoa! (Blossom reference!)

They all used to live in Utah in one gigantic house (it was basically 3 houses in 1) and then the state started a legal case against them so they high-tailed it to Sin City. Now each wife has their own house, which makes me sad. I want them to be together. And, spoiler alert: Robyn (the new wife) is pregnant! Now, these guys aren’t old school. No crazy braided hair poofs or pioneer dresses. These are full-on modern ladies.

At first I was all judgey-wudgy about their lifestyle. Like, who are these women who would share their man? They must be crazy! And then I told myself that I needed to calm down. After watching the show for less than 5 minutes, I figured out that these ladies totally rule that roost! And they get to be with their BFFs all the time! This is a best-of-both-worlds situation!

After pondering my non-relationship stint, I decided that I think I should dive right into polygamy. And I choose Katy Perry as my sister wife! Katy gets the gig because she seems fun and has fun clothes. Okay, that’s a lie. I choose Katy because she is married to Russell Brand and I think it would be so fun to be married to him, even though he can be a bit much sometimes. That’s where Katy comes in – I would just send them away and get in my “leave me alone or I’ll scratch your eyes out” time. Win-Win-Win! (or in the case of the Browns, win-win-win-win-win). So, if you run into Katy and Russell this week, let them know what’s up. Meanwhile, I’ll be working on the blueprints for our new 2-in-1 house.

Thanks so much!

Reader’s pick from Alison Brough. Check her out at: alisonian.tumblr.com

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