Lately, my husband and I have a sneaking suspicion that strippers and gay men have been sneaking into our home at night and having midnight playdates with Sunny. We try not to let her watch TV too much and the TV she does watch is limited to cartoons, so I have no idea why she’s dancing like a stripper and acting like Ru Paul all of the sudden.
Sunny loves dancing. She takes hip hop and ballet classes and sometimes when close friends or family members come over, music will come on and she’ll just start grooving. I know it’s kind of annoying and obnoxious to sit around in a circle and have everyone watch Sunny dance but we’re her parents, so we obviously find it super cute and funny… UNTIL LATELY. She’s been doing this super awkward thing where she gets on the floor and dances provocatively and her moves look strikingly similar to what you would see at a strip joint (not that I frequent them).
I start frantically clapping my hands together and yelling, “Okay, Sunny get up, GET UP OFF THE FLOOR”, and finally, “Stop that! Don’t dance on the floor anymore.” Of course, my mom gets really upset and later on in the evening says things like, “She should go to a school that has uniforms.” My husband and I aren’t so much worried about it as perplexed, as we have literally no idea how are where she learned anything like this. She is not allowed to go on the computer and there isn’t anything like this on Dora the Explorer, so who is sneaking into my house and teaching my daughter to dance like a stripper?
Also, why they hell is she talking like a gay man?! It’s so weird. When I ask her a question, sometimes she does everything but snaps her fingers at me while saying, “Um, excuse me, Mama, I don’t think so.” She’s like a cross between the gay best friend and an ’80s valley girl. Where in the world is she getting this? Why does she start every sentence with, “Um, like whatever”?
I just want to know who is sneaking into my home and showing her episodes of Sex in The City and Madonna videos from the ’80s and how can I get them to stop.