I Love @jennirivera: A Mexican-American Woman of Worth Marianna Tabares

I may not have the fancy language that many educated women can use when writing academic papers on race and ethnic relations, so the best I can do is say these things in as simple a language as possible.

A few weeks ago, I was watching television with my mom and caught an episode of “I Love Jenni” on the cable network Mun2. It’s a reality show about Jenni Rivera, a Mexican-American banda singer who was born in Long Beach, CA and is now living in a beautiful home in Encino, CA with her husband (a major league baseball player, Esteban Loaiza) and five kids named Janney (better known as “Chiquis”), Jacquie, Michael, Jenicka, and the youngest and most timid, Johnny.

Her story isn’t easy to listen to because it involves a very emotionally painful incident. The father of her first three children is currently in prison for sexually abusing his own daughter as well as Jenni’s little sister. Aside from this horrible incident, he was an abusive husband. It was after she left him that she learned about the abuse. She also divorced a second husband because he cheated on her.

There’s no easy way to say this, but a major portion of Jenni Rivera’s life seems stereotypical of what some people expect of Mexican American women. I don’t say this loosely, but I mention it because I remember my mom sharing with me that some of our own family members expected the worst of me just because my parents were divorced. I’ve also had friends explain that their moms didn’t feel comfortable with them hanging out with me because I had a single mom. So there are certain things people expect of you that aren’t necessarily uplifting or encouraging, and especially with Mexican-American women, the stereotypes can be all too discouraging.

Jenni became pregnant while she was still a sophomore in high school. She was probably expected to drop out, but she didn’t. She finished high school and also attended community college.

Though her brother, Lupillo Rivera, became very famous in the banda music scene, she had not initially intended to also become involved in music. However, she has turned her struggles into music that is relatable and powerful. This woman sells out venues in southern California and the southwest. For example, the Nokia Theater in downtown Los Angeles.

I have briefly introduced her to you because there was one particular episode of her show that really touched me. She was recently in the film Filly Brown (starring Edward James Olmos and Lou Diamond Phillips) and she had to travel to the Sundance Film Festival for its premier. One detail near the beginning of the episode which I found endearing was Jenni explaining to her family that it wasn’t the kind of festival that they were familiar with, such as a fair with games and rides, but something related to the arts. She told them they would all be going with her. A lot happened before and during the trip that caused me to feel anger, excitement, and some sadness.

As she searched for the perfect snow gear, Chiquis was in charge and went into a sports shop. She and her sister Jacquie admitted to never having visited a place where there is snow, and this reminded me of the fact that many young kids in my community (a primarily Hispanic community in southeastern Los Angeles) have never been in the snow either. Some haven’t even been able to visit the beach yet and most of the time it’s because their parents are too busy working and they don’t yet have access to people who can take them out to visit new places.

While Chiquis shopped for snow boots and jackets, the salesman was quite sleazy and inappropriate with her and her sister. He admitted to having a “weakness for Latinas” and wasted no time in treating them more like objects than customers. When Chiquis mentioned that they generally prefer warm weather and hanging out drinking Micheladas, the salesman then threw out a comment about how they like hanging out at the park making out with their boyfriends.

What the…?

Chiquis was very graceful despite his inappropriate behavior and jokes that leaned too much on old stereotypes. When she brought home all their new gear, Jenni wasn’t too thrilled that Chiquis spent so much money but then asked her to work it off by being her assistant during the festival. Jenni’s assistant would have gone, except that she’d recently gotten her boobs done and had heard too many stories about implants exploding while women traveled in flight.

Once in Park City, Utah, I saw a side of Jenni here that really drew me closer to her character. Though I may never get to meet this woman in person, I very much felt a connection to how she described her visit there and how outspoken she was about the fact that she needed to seek out other Mexicans in the area. This reminded me of the time I visited a long distance boyfriend who lived in Kentucky. We ate at a Mexican restaurant in Hazard and there, the waiter was instantly charmed when I ordered “carnitas” without an accent. He asked if I could send him a Virgin Mary medallion because he couldn’t find one anywhere and he seemed almost relieved to be able to have a conversation in Spanish with a stranger.

Similarly, Jenni goes out looking for a Mexican restaurant just for the sake of finding “her people.” She makes a joke with the host of the restaurant and says that there are too many gringos, and they banter for a minutes as the cooks call each other “bueyes.” Buey literally means donkey, but verges more on ass. Whether she did it for the sake of the show doesn’t matter to me because it’s a relatable moment. She’s a Mexican-American woman who was feeling out of her element and she went looking for something familiar and acknowledged it.

Jenni reflects on this significance of her participation in the film as well as how deeply important it was for her to work with Edward James Olmos. I agree that there are events in life which you never imagine will happen, but somehow they do as a result of what you fight for having, so I felt a certain yearning in my heart when Jenni was at a swag party and was testing out a television that plays music on demand. The woman demonstrating the unit for her probably didn’t know who she was, but her album cover appeared on the screen and I thought, Man that’s awesome.

At the end of the episode, she is having dinner with her family and they share a deeply personal moment. They talk about the movie and her role as a prisoner in it and some of the kids connected that to the fact that their father is still in prison. They talk about forgiveness and pain, but they are very much aware of the blessings they have received and the hard work that still lies ahead.

This episode meant a lot to me because I’ve grown up with mixed ideas and feelings about what it means, or what it’s supposed to mean, to be a Mexican-American woman. I don’t want to be a trophy or a sex object for a man with a fetish. I don’t want to be barefoot and pregnant like the jokes I heard all of the time when I was little. I never did become the “chola” or pregnant teen like many people expected, and I certainly didn’t grow up bad just because my parents got a divorce and I lived with a single mom.

I understand that perhaps there’s a certain accent in my voice. My best friend has it and as much as I try to be conscious of how I pronounce things, there’s no use fighting it. I would be doing a great disservice to my community and to myself to act as if I don’t sound like Jenni or Chiquis when I get excited about something or when I’m yelling every time I become passionate over an idea or plan.

If Jenni and her daughters are going to be setting an example for Mexican-American women by being on television and sharing their lives with us, I’m all for it. Some of the things they do are not particularly standard behavior for those in my neighborhood, but we absolutely relate to the slang, the attitude, the jokes, and the family values. We love in a relaxed fashion but we do our hair and makeup like we’ve got somewhere important to be. We walk with a heavy sway in our hips and we carry the weight of the burdens of our past, but we continue to move forward with a steady stride.

Watch the episode here on Mun2.

Featured Image: LOS ANGELES – MAY 12: Janney “Chiquis” Marin, Jenni Rivera at The Cable Show 2010 “An Evening with NBC Universal” held at Universal Studios Hollywood in Los Angeles, California on May 12, 2010 via ShutterShock.

 

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  1. In today’s day, young women are looking up to socialites, reality tv stars and anyone famous for being famous and it’s crushing how we look for worth and excuses and even become defensive about them whatever nationality they are.

  2. Tina, I think your personal opinions on a subject clouded your perception on what this article was about.

    Marianna seems to be trying to convey the notion that there are virtuous qualities to this particular woman because she rose above negative expectations due to her circumstances. I think she clearly showed this by starting off with her personal examples, and how that stereotyping is prevalent in her community. She was never claiming to pose the idea that this celebrity was a perfect person; No, she was simply saying she rose above it all despite what was “expected” of her; failure. Just because you don’t admire a particular person, think they are scummy, etc it doesn’t mean you cant see certain aspects about them that you can look up to.

    Tina, it seems your biggest critique is this celebrities misgivings on her journey through life. Marianna wasn’t creating a biography on the woman’s life, just one aspect of it that should give respect.

    Perhaps this celebrity, due to her circumstances, was cut out with a certain cookie cutter (abusive husband, teen mother, personal mistakes, bad public image, etc), but rose above it which would give non-celebrity people, cut out of the same cookie cutter, the inspiration that, while they may never be perfect, they too can rise above the expectations.

    P.S. I am not a huge fan of Kim Kardashian as a whole, but I can see that she seems like a nice person and has a talent for marketing and networking. I would never want to be Kim Kardashian , have her life, or make the same decision that she made , but I can see how she rose above certain negative stereotypes , and was driven enough to meet and exceed her goals; the drive and determination is the virtue despite how she may wield it.

  3. celebrities choose a lifestyle that places them in the spotlight and are subject to criticism but then again, that’s not my point. my point is that celebrities will do what they do best to get any publicity but it’s the people that somehow see them as insipirational! it’s one thing to admire kardashian’s fashion sense or jenny’s voice, it’s another to consider them heros. i just think that IF we need to look for worth in an artist that we can relate to then there’s waaaay better options then jenny. There’s plenty of famous latinas with histories as well such as graciela beltran, ana gabriel, rocio durcal… and the queen of them all, Paquita. why admire the sucia?

    • You say that this is reading is so ‘un-hellogiggles-like” but I respectfully disagree with you. In Hellogiggles I have found a safe place where women come together to and speak their minds. I see strong, open-minded people say what they think and that’s why I love this place. We are all individually entitled to our own beliefs, and if Marianna thinks Jenni is worth mentioning and you don’t agree, that’s fine! You don’t have too. Jenni has her share of mistakes, but I do see why Marianna wrote about her. Jenni has a strong character, right or wrong she voices her opinion, and does not let anybody walk all over her. Like many of us latinas, Jenni has been criticized for her non traditional latina lifestyle. If a man were to do what Jenni does, than he wouldn’t be as controversial. I just re-read everything and no where on there does it say Jenni is a heroe. We all know Jenni has her share of mistakes and flaws. Marianna simply focused on the good and I respect that. Marianna: looking forward to more readings! :)

    • Because for some reason, I’m trying not to slut shame any women. And anyway, it’s not like I’m limited to only writing about just this one person. She does not represent Chicana women as a whole, but the content of the episode resonated with me despite how nutty the family seems.

  4. To be honest I didn’t used to like Jenni when she first started. But in recent years I’ve seen her grow as a person, she seems more mature now. I did buy her last album and admit that I listen to it often. I agree that Jenni isn’t perfect, but I do respect her, because she is a voice for the Hispanic community. Marianna, thank you so much for sharing this with us, I’m humbled by the fact that I’m also a Mexican-American. I proudly honor and embrace both cultures. I’m so glad to see that you do the same! I’m looking forward to more posts.

  5. Sad when we see women like this as worthy.

  6. Note that many of us chicanas don’t see her in that light. I understand that a latina would want to see the worth in a famous latina singer but we dont always have to. There are many other possitive latina role models out there that share our history and values but don’t act it out like drunk whores on stage. She is an embarrassment to many of us fighting the stereotypes of latinas. She has a sex tape, sings about being the other woman and entourages it! her kids have plastic surgery and not to mention how unrecognizable she is now. She picks fueds to stay relevant. When i saw this article’s title i was shocked as to how it was so un-hellogiggles-like. Its like honoring snookie

    • At first, I had no interest in this woman. I felt very much that she was toting more of the “chafa” side, and to be honest, I do still struggle with squirming a little when she says raunchy things and leads a life that most would see as unsavory.
      However, after I read about a sex tape, I was not so quick to judge her.

      Let’s not forget that this website often posts content related to the Kardashians and Kim Kardashian, and she too was in a sex tape. I don’t imagine that these women wanted those tapes released to the public. I don’t condemn women for doing something intimate with whoever they date, it’s just unfortunate that it ends up in the public eye which of course elicits tons of judgement.

      Jenni is a familiar character. She’s lived a life full of ERRORS. She’s made TONS of mistakes. Teen mom, abusive husbands, and a career in a field of music that is generally praised most in backyards and family parties. And yet somehow she has risen in fame enough to star in movies with largely significant actors in the Hispanic community and bring her family into a home that most of us still DREAM of having for ourselves.
      Shameful behavior is obviously shameful behavior, but let’s not act like we don’t celebrate other people in mainstream media and entertainment who are doing FAR worse.
      Also, one article doesn’t speak for all women. And I’m not dead yet so I’m sure I’ll be bringing many other women to the readers’ attention.

      Marianna | 6/12/2012 10:06 am
    • I’m not familiar with Rivera, but this is the burden that POC women carry. White ladies have the luxury of not having White celebrities represent them as a whole, but because there are so few POC ladies represented in mainstream media, they become the “face of their people,” regardless of whether or not that particular community agrees with that. (Which, of course, you shouldn’t. No one person represents any community across the board.) It’s unfortunate that POC women who are in the spotlight are subject to the criticism that they aren’t fulfilling their duty to their race because really, that’s not their job. However, how much responsibility do you have when we are very much aware of how narrow minded the public view is of POC women?