When most 14-year-old girls were attempting ‘bad’ by smoking cigarettes and having first kisses, I was doing something a little bit cooler. I was buying baby clothes. Interestingly enough, I was not a teen mom; I didn’t have kids then and I don’t have any now. Let me try to explain this: I just loved babies! Especially boy babies. I wanted one so bad, although I’m not entirely sure I knew the logistics of how they arrived on Earth. So I did what any 14-year-old would do: I started babysitting cute babies and spending the money I made buying baby clothes for the baby I would one day have. It would definitely be a boy and he would have blond hair and blue eyes and he would definitely be cute and definitely be named something cool like Caleb or Taylor (it was 1995, give me a break).
So when my friend and I would get dropped off at the mall by her mom, we would bypass the Food Court where most teenagers loitered and head straight to Baby Gap and The Sesame Street Store for our fix. Just thinking about the sale section of Baby Gap gets me excited. I was packing striped cotton onesies for $3.99, fleece pants for $6.99 and the cutest little plaid hat for only $1! And if that doesn’t creep you out enough, for my 14th birthday I actually received the most adorable pair of black high-top baby shoes and I was totally psyched!!!!!
Spending as much time as I did babysitting cute babies, I was able to create a mental database of the best baby products on the market. I knew that the most coveted stroller was the Peg Perego, preferably in a navy print and that the best baby stores were Oilily, Petit Patapon and my favorite, Hannah Anderson. I learned that all babies look good in overalls and a backwards hat and that Cheerios really are a timeless snack.
Over time, I was able to accumulate a pretty nice baby wardrobe. I had pieces for all seasons with a focus on boy babies, mostly. My baby clothes collection has expanded to mostly vintage pieces and it has definitely not stopped. To this day, I can’t go into a thrift store without visiting the baby section. I mean, just the other day I picked up a pair of brown baby corduroy overalls for one fricken dollar and I most definitely will never say no to a tiny hand knitted sweater!
These clothes, which I like to think of as my dowry, are folded and waiting to be worn. I don’t thinks it’s crazy, I like to think of it as being prepared… twenty years in advance. Every girl needs a good hobby, my extra curricular activity just so happens to involve creating a wardrobe for an invisible baby. So what if my future baby will be rocking threads from the ’90s? I heard somewhere that the ’90s are back. I just hope my future baby appreciates how good they’re going to look.