I’ll be the first to admit that my fashion sense is not exactly, hrm, how do I put this…evolved. I haven’t really changed my style since graduating from college six years ago, and have since worn a steady stream of V-neck T-shirts, shorts with tights, over-sized sweaters, and ankle boots. I’ll occasionally mix it up with a dress or skirt here or there, but as I mentioned in my post about summer, I am constantly worried about exposing my butt cheeks.
That said, I am a sucker for fast fashion. Fast fashion is what you might call Forever21 or H&M – you know, stores you can find something at even if you only have $10 in your pocket. I usually enter these places with something in mind, like the need for a necklace or a new pair of sunglasses, and leave with a heaping pile of wrinkled one-time use sundresses. My boyfriend finds tags all over the house and is like, “What worthwhile thing could you have possibly purchased for $8.99?!”
The truth is, nothing. There is nothing truly worthwhile and long-lasting that you can buy for $8.99, save for maybe a lamp at IKEA, and even that is questionable. Part of being an adult is learning how to budget and use your money wisely, and that doesn’t mean just buying the cheapest things all the time. For example, my summer wardrobe needs to be replaced pretty much every year. How is that a good investment?
Part of it is definitely a sticker-shock thing. Adult lady clothes are just more expensive! And by a lot! I mean, I can pick up three pairs of shorts and four T-shirts for $100 at H&M, but if I go to say, Bloomingdale’s, I am lucky if I get one sleeve of a sweater for that much. I also maybe don’t want to wear the Bloomingdale’s sweater, because that is not what all the TV shows and magazines tell me I should be wearing. I’m not dead yet, so technically I should be in a gold bikini, with a feather dangling from my hair, right? Beyonce is a couple years older than me and even she is rocking that look. I mean, granted she is Beyonce and if she wanted to wear a clown suit and a gas mask, she’d probably look hot.
Every time I enter one of those fast fashion stores I wonder if they are going to check my ID and tell me I am too old to shop there. It’s kind of weird trying on rompers and onesies in a stall next to three high school girls who are skipping school. And then there is the return policy, don’t even get me started, girl! It’s like, at the risk of not having the time or interest to trying on something in the store, you must permanently invest. Often the lines are too long, and I wonder if the whole thing is a scam to begin with.
I want to learn how to dress like an adult woman, I really do, but I also feel like fashion and style is one of the easier ways I can hold on to my youth. Like, the more neon I wear, the younger I look, right? My fear is of course that I will one day be one of those older women with short shorts and a Hello Kitty backpack, and no job. I mean, all the power to them if they are happy, but it’s just like… where do I go from here? What Not To Wear? Save me, Stacy!
Ugh, I don’t know. Even thinking about clothes this much makes me uncomfortable. It’s such a commitment to be a girl and care about the way you look as much as a lot of us do. I envy guys who can have a staple wardrobe from J.Crew that lasts at least 5 years. Sure, they invest some serious cashola into it, but I bet overtime I’ve dropped just as much scratch on my fever trips to Forever21. Actually I am sure of it.
What I’d really like is a stylist and a budgetist, or maybe both of those wrapped into one. I’d like someone to tell me when something is worth it, or isn’t, and if those shorts make my butt look ten years older or younger. I mean, isn’t that what we’re all looking for in the end? A butt genie/accountant?