Are You There Blog? It's Me Caragh I am Officially Reserving Today to Do Absolutely Nothing Caragh Poh

I am officially reserving today to do absolutely nothing. I’m going to automatically forward all of my calls to voicemail, nap for however long I want to nap and then stay in bed for several hours after that. At some point I might invite pancakes over to my mouth. Who am I kidding? Pancakes are definitely invited.

I’m going to watch Ally McBeal. I am going to watch all of the Ally McBeal that Netflix has to offer. There will be no more Ally McBeal left when I am done with it. I’m not sorry.

I will put on a full face of make-up and curl my hair with no intention of having it seen by anyone just because that is what my heart desires. I’m never going to leave my pajama pants. They are here with me until tomorrow morning. Despite my current flawless manicure (I’m a blogger! Of course I keep my nail game in check!) I am going to completely re-do my nails. Something with glitter. I’m going to do all of this while blasting rap and hip-hop, namely Nicki Minaj and Childish Gambino.

I’m going to watch Intervention with a bottle of wine and my dogs. I’ll probably cry. If I don’t cry, I will purposely seek out a show about babies with medical oddities to ensure I will cry. It’s not a day off from life if you don’t spend time crying about other people with the safety of the filter that is the television screen between you and their problems.

I will not think about work, I will not think about my familial obligations, I will not think about how my student loans need to be fixed before the summer ends. I will not think about my messy room or how I no longer support that child through Save the Children or how I almost killed a spider last night, but I didn’t, and so it is alive, somewhere, in my room.

I’m going to be as lazy as my aunt who is in a persistent vegetative state due to a car accident and if you think that’s a mean joke to make then you probably don’t have an aunt in a wheelchair of your own. Also, I don’t care. I gave up caring for today, too.

Today is my day off from doing anything and I could not be more excited to not get this party started.

(image via SteadyBurn.net)

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  1. I want one of these days. I will spend my time with long hot bath, playing the Mama Mia soundtrack to my hearts content and dancing along (loud of course). I will then wallow in my self imposed laziness by watching reruns of Charlies Angels and musicals from the wonderful age of Hollywood. No answering the question of what is for dinner and where did someone put something not associated with me. Mom is on strike…one day (at least in my dreams).

  2. Sometimes I feel the most accomplished when I do absolutely nothing! I was going to this day didn’t sound that tempting, but then you added Childish Gambino! You’re livin’ the life! :)

  3. I want to like this.. but it makes me kind of depressed because this is basically what I do every day since being unemployed for the last 6 weeks (add in applying to jobs on Craigstlist every hour).. the monotony takes all the fun out of it :/

  4. love this. LOVE this!

  5. “Beautiful, I just want you 2 know, you’re my faaaaavorite giiiiirrllll.” – Pharrell

  6. totally clever, this is wht i’m going to do today and everyday cuz i’m lazy. THIS IS THE PERFECT DAY :D

  7. This is totes what I’m doing today as well.

  8. This sounds like the absolute perfect day. Also: Every Saturday. And don’t ever be sorry about Ally McBeal marathons. John Cage is a legend. A legend.

  9. GPOY!

  10. Dude, I do this like, three, four times a week? Is it still a ‘me day’ if its every evening after work and I have no choice because all of my friends have boyfriends and husbands, and I don’t want to hang out with them anyway because they all have really dramatic problems, mostly involving aforementioned husbands and boyfriends? People be tiring, yo.

  11. Wow there is someone out there like me….scary and yet liberating all the same. Btw Donald Glover is my man

  12. This is what I do everyday…. oops?

  13. CHEERS!

  14. that was totally me yesterday–read a book in bed ALL day, loved it! now that whole back to work thing…

  15. Dry*

  16. May I suggest listening to The Lazy Song by Bruno Mars and dancing while waiting for your nails to try?

  17. I am about to do the exact same, except exchange that bottle of wine for a a bowl and some fringe / law & order SVU…sometimes you just need a “me day”

  18. Amen!