This is how I know that Tropical Storm Bret likes other male tropical storms. I support his orientation wholly but do not respect with how he threatened the Bahamas. Below is how I depict two of the most infamous hurricanes that have effected the US and Tropical Storm Bret. That slacker. Before you ask – no, I did not get a degree at an art school for graphic design. However, I would not turn down an honorary Doctorate of Art if one were to be presented to me after this pieces goes viral.
Tropical Storm Bret highlights and lowlights his hair with varying shades of blonde as bright as spun gold. Though he resides in the Atlantic Ocean, he often claims that his penchant for wearing sunglasses indoors stems from growing up in Los Angeles. Tropical Storm Bret is, without a doubt, a total weiner and most definitely passes out early on your living room floor when you make the mistake of inviting him to your party.
(I know that a lot of us are still hurting from Hurricane Katrina, but bear with me as I explain my idea of who she would be if she were human, which she isn’t, and so I hope this doesn’t upset you.)
Hurricane Bob may not have been one of the most famous hurricanes in the US, but he was the only one I remember encountering. He weighs upwards of 350 pounds and wears unbuttoned Hawaiian shirts year round. It’s hard to tell what’s worse, his wayward nipples that are so reminiscent of Paris Hilton’s wonky eye or the crumbs from his breakfast that cling to his sweaty stomach hairs. His facial features appear to melt into his cranium, giving him the appearance of a nondescript blob of nothingness. When Hurricane Bob rides the subway, he pays no mind to where his armpit is directed and lets drops of sweat run down his head and onto the toe of your shoe. He’s just rude, is all.
OMG Caragh!! HOW did I not see this or read this sooner?!?! This was HILARIOUS!!! You nailed em all. I also think Bob is regularly seen at Red Lobster with a plastic lobster bib and buttery fingers.
Not funny
This is weird. I also used to think my stuffed animals cared if I snuggled one and not the other. I would turn my lights out and then sneak one into bed with me and told him he had to pretend like it never happened, okay. Got it?! Never. Happened.
As a Katrina, I should be insulted. But then I remember Jon Stewart said my name on air once, so. That’s masturbation material for the next….always.
But what about Andrew? I imagine him to be that stereotypical 90′s movie high school preppy jock/bully… I think your should do a picture of that…
That is totally a true assessment of Hurricane Andrew.
You are special, Caragh. Never forget that.
how appropriate for a diva to be before her time in fashion! love this! especially the duck face!
I just cried a little..
I have a home video of Hurricane Bob from when I was 3 and it’s semi-hilarious. We had a screenhouse in the backyard and my dad was attempting to take it apart so the metal rods holding it up didn’t hit people, but once he got them out, the whole screen part went flying down the street despite it being so securely shackled down to the picnic table with my jump rope. None of us are helping, just video taping and laughing at my dad. I wasn’t expecting my old friend Bob to be in this post! haha