The Week In WHAT?! Humans Come In All Shapes and Sizes Jonathan Zipper

Let’s hear it for people. You know, just in general. After dealing with one pretty rough week all around, we seem to be back on track. Go ahead… pat yourself on the back because you deserve it! I mean, have you seen the dancing twins, Michael Bublé’s candidly awesome NYC subway performance, or this moving video in response the boy scouts’ handling of gay rights? We’re on a roll, people. Keep it coming! And to help keep those creative and inspiring juices flowing, here’s an all-new helping of “The Week In WHAT?! Making a New Scientific Discovery? Ata-boy! Unless you’re an extraterrestrial or UFO enthusiast, you may not be big into following the latest space alien gossip. To catch you up, 10 years ago in Chile’s Atacama Desert, a group of researchers discovered a small 6-inch mummified humanoid later named “Ata.” The discovery left many questioning whether the creature was an unborn or aborted fetus, an alien, or something else entirely. While it turns out he is in fact an Earthling, the findings presented in the new documentary “Sirius” are quite shocking. Through DNA testing, scientists learned that Ata was not only a human fetus, but he actually lived — probably until he was around 6-8 years old. “The Borrowers” are real, y’all! Watch the doc’s trailer to see Ata for yourself:

http://youtu.be/SJZ8wZrCCv0

Red Rover, Red Rover Please Send a Penis Drawing Over Ever get bored in class or while on a tediously long conference call and doodle something naughty in your notebook? Now imagine being the mars rover: you’re all alone on a sandy red planet, cut off from any other sign of “intelligent” life and forced to wander around at the mercy of others. What’s a rover to do for entertainment? Draw an incredibly large penis, of course! Okay, this red rover isn’t the best artist. It’s more likely someone’s dirty little mind first caught the slight phallic resemblance while studying the picture a bit too closely. Although, the little guy (or girl) is man-made so it’s bound to have some proclivities of a — uh — carnal nature. Right?

MarsRoverDrawing Eggs Are the New Diamonds Who knew there was a market for partially fossilized eggs of extinct animals? Apparently, they’re all the rage at the London outpost of Christie’s auction house where one elephant bird egg netted over $100K. Don’t let the name fool you: elephant birds sadly could not fly. The ostrich-like creatures are believed to have met their doomed fate sometime during the 17th century. Let’s hope Daenerys Stormborn of the House Targaryn doesn’t find out about this one or the elephant bird could make an unexpected comeback. (If you’re not a Game of Thrones fan, then that sentence might as well have been written in Dothraki.)

ElephantBirdEgg Get Your Idea(s) Cook-ing With Tim Looking to pitch your latest technological invention to someone with the connections and finances to launch it into the mainstream? Sure, you could apply for a shot to enter the Shark Tank — OR you could invest (ahem, donate) some cold hard cash to win a coffee date with current Apple CEO Tim Cook. Needless to say, this is one cup of joe (cup of Tim?) that’ll cost you. The going rate is already above the $575K mark, which is much higher than the “estimated value” of $50K. Still, someone in the position to capitalize on such a golden opportunity might consider it priceless. Proceeds will go to The RFK Center for Justice and Human Rights. The charitybuzz auction runs through May 14. And there you have this week in “WHAT?!” Can’t wait to see what’s in store for humanity next!

Images via HuffPo, NASA and Associated Press.

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