Faith Forays How to Remember That You're Actually Okay Becca Rose

Sometimes the universe likes to really, really, really poop on my face. In the span of the last two weeks, I endured almost an unfathomable amount of things. I had an awkward not-break-up with a not-boyfriend, in which we broke my best friend’s guest room bed; I returned home to discover an apartment completely devoid of furniture, due to my roommate unexpectedly moving out, and was alerted to the possibility of being kicked out of my apartment; I learned of a really nasty, completely untrue rumor circulating about me; received several hate emails bizarrely focused on my pink hair; I was confronted with having to choose a senior thesis; I acquired a new internet stalker; I overdrew my bank account buying textbooks, and have been eating the same type of sandwich for six days because that’s all I’ve got, and oh, I’ve been washing my dishes with hand soap because I am literally too broke to purchase a 97 cent bottle of dishwashing liquids.

But the bonus is that I have that 60 pack of K-cups that I got for Christmas, so I have been drinking a lot of coffee. Without creamer. Because I can’t afford any till payday.

If there is one thing to be learned from all of the absolute chaos that is happening in my fragile life, it’s that there is really absolutely nothing I can do about it. Really! The only thing I have control over is my own attitude and feelings. I have a distinctly different set of choices in front of me: freak out and devolve into a lower state of being, which would involve throwing everything I own out a window and running around with someone else’s underpants on my head as a security blanket, OR I can recite my inner mantras of peace and calm and just stay standing through whatever else the universe decides to flush out of its toilet onto my lap.

Something I find exceedingly helpful to do when faced with life choices is to ask myself, WWBD? You’re not familiar with the phrase? Oh, I’m sorry. Let me just CHANGE YOUR ENTIRE LIFE: What Would Beyonce Do. No, seriously, this works. Trust me. Think about it. Stay at crummy job where your boss hates you because you one time, one time, told her she couldn’t be pregnant because she already had grandkids? Or go searching the world for a slightly less miserable job that pays slightly better? Exert that effort, with no promise of returns? It’s easy: funnel it into the WWBD filter and you have your answer. Beyonce would obviously search for a better job, and on her way out the door, she’d toss a casual, “See ya, Granny” over her shoulder as she waltzed away in her thirty-seven inch heels.

If WWBD just isn’t your thang, you can always use my other handy trick. Inhale. Exhale. And now say to yourself, “Embrace your inner Zen goddess! Embrace her!” and say it like it’s a command, like if you do not obey your own self you will end up being forced to wear the tightest, most uncomfortable pair of spanx ever for the entirety of the rest of your life and you’ll never be allowed to take them off and just wear sweats and be free. Oooh, that was actually chilling. I just scared myself. I ought to note that I understand Zen is like, an actual thing and is part of some religions and I’m not trying to make fun of it by using it in a slightly irreverent context here.

So, how, exactly, do you embrace your inner zen goddess? You accept that there are certain things entirely beyond the sphere of your control and influence. Those things would include not-boyfriends who not-break-up with you, roommates who move out suddenly, utterly devastating hurtful rumors others choose to fabricate, and the housing department who holds the fate of your place of residence in their meaty palms. You gather all those things up, and you let them go. There is absolutely nothing you can do about the things other people choose to say and do that hurt you. And then, then, dear friends, you sit down and remember the things that you do control, and how they can be changed by you. You plan out a savings strategy, so as to not be taken unawares by the unexpected demands that pop up. You harness your attitude, your spirit, your mind. You gather good friends around you, and laugh together. Your choir of loved ones will sing louder than ever, and they’ll help you pack all your things and move out if you need to. You can choose not to text that boy, because you know that communication will only end in heartbreak for you. You decide whether or not to give credence to the mean things people are spreading around about you. And you sit tight in the knowledge that in the end, you are on your own side, and you, my dear, are fairly, ridiculously awesome. Embrace the inner zen goddess living inside of you, and know you will always be alright.

Featured image via Shutterstock

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  1. I really needed this right now. Not only because of the helpful suggestions but just to know that I am not alone when it comes to things like this. Thank you. :)

  2. We need experiances so that we can learn how to deal with life.

    But, then again, how much crap do I need? Some things will happen again.
    We live and die.

  3. This is so true! A helpful reminder to all of us going through the worst. Thanks for sharing Becca. :)

  4. Becca, i laughed soooo hard reading this. seriously, what IS it with Murphy’s law taking over life sometimes?!

    also, I do the WWD too. except Mine is WWAD….what would audrey do. (audrey hepburn), it’s probably a bit of a variation from beyonce, but it still works.

    …and the coffee creamer thing is SO my situation right now. :)

  5. Just had the worst week/month/year, WWBD would definitely have helped! WILL keep this as a future reference. I’m also crumbling under student loans that the stupid bank want me to pay off already. Hello??? How are we supposed to do that with a 12$ an hour job!! I guess we all thought going to school would get us to great positions with great salaries. We were wrong. Life is just a little harder than we expected and throws us dirt sometimes. WWBD? She would kick her own ass and get on going. I gotta start on doing that too. Reading your post really made me feel better. Can relate :)

  6. Great writing Becca! And great attitude!
    Desperately trying to connect with my inner zen goddess while on the train on my way to work…..

    • I ride a bus to work, and you know, I have 1 job that I really, really hate (I have two jobs so I feel safe to say this on the internet because if anyone saw it I could just tell them it was that OTHER job) and I have to do this every time I’m on that bus. Focus on the positive things like having a job and being able to buy food! It sounds so corny, but it’s really a blessing to have that ability.

  7. In the span of 2 weeks my dad had a stroke and we found out my grandpa has cancer. Throw in the fact that I’m now a month out of college with no potential job on the horizon and I’m one set back away from a nervous break down. I feel your pain. It helps to make a list of all the blessings in your life. It helps me anyway.

    • Catrina, I’m just going to give you an internet hug RIGHT NOW. Lean into it! Embrace it! Internet hug. It just happened. I’m SO, SO sorry to hear about the devastating blows to your family’s health! You will be in my prayers/thoughts :)

      oh and p.s. you know this idea of starting the year out with an empty jar and filling it up with pieces of paper you write out blessings on as they happen? You just made me decide to really actually do that :)

  8. Great article! I too had a crappy two weeks. I had a meltdown and realized too that I can’t control what happens, just my attitude so I’m learning to let go!

  9. Nothin’ truer. Thanks for writing, Becca!

  10. Thank you! Now embracing my inner zen godess.

  11. Becca you are my hero… :)
    It’s so hard to let things go! I will remember your words the next time I get upset about something I have no control of…like someones not texting ;)
    And washing the dishes with soap is so much more fun and bubbles…hands up for dishwashing-anarchy!!!! :D

    • YAY! oh, & a friend of mine bought me some dishsoap, concerned at my apparently unnatural methods of dishwashing ;)

  12. <3

  13. Oh Becca! Living the dream. Thanks for the post, though I haven’t hit rock bottom I am at my wits end, and I am still and undergrad! :D

    • I’m in my last semester of undergrad, so, yep, we ARE living the dream! (if the dream refers to the instant panic upon graduation and having absolutely no idea what you’re doing with the gargantuanness of your LIFE)

  14. I needed this! I can so totally relate :) hugs!!

  15. Way to go Becca. This post made me happy… and also it made me want to buy you some creamer.

    • Yay! I’m so glad. & me & my mini Keurig would really appreciate a hit of hazelnut coffeemate right about now ; )