Um… oh crap, I’m really not good at introductions, so as I try to conjure up the best way to formally introduce myself, I can tell you aside from going gaga over LEGO video games and shamelessly stalking soap stars on Twitter, I gotta pretty unhealthy beauty obsession. Hey, I can’t help it – I crush a lot.
So let’s get this beauty shindig started! Y’all love a good how-to? Yeah, I know, I can literally go through two bags of chips watching the latest Elle and Blair tutorials. But let me address the elephant in the room. I’m still a bit camera-shy to go into full beauty vlogging bootcamp. Don’t worry, gorgeous, you’re still gonna get that how-to, but I’m gonna spare you from my horrible roots, awkward pauses and my highly irritating Disney Princess-like voice.
The latest Giggler how-to? Saving you more moolah for ramen and spending way less on that gone-too-soon topcoat! Cause I TOTES understand, the ramen is way better than any tube of lipstick anyways. Trust me, K?
Clearasil Ultra Rapid Action On-The-Go Wipes ($3.97, walmart.com)
So I’ll admit, I’ve kinda bailed on the whole Clearasil thing since seventh grade. I mean, once those Neutrogena Clean and Clear ads hit like wildfire, you betcha I put down the latest issue of Elle Girl and begged my mama to drive me to CVS for a bottle. Now, as a 23-year-old beauty freakazoid, my obsession hasn’t changed. Unfortunately for me, my acne still hasn’t realized that the whole Avril Lavigne thingy is over and done with.
Between caking on makeup and sweating for absolutely no reason, it’s safe to say my pores kinda hate me. I mean, I’d kinda hate me too to be honest. And that’s where these acne slayers come in! When your pores need a Buffy (cue another 7th grade reference), just wipe and go and make those blimey blackheads wish they were never born. My purse loves them too, and that’s a compliment.
Freeman Beauty Feeling Beautiful Charcoal & Black Sugar Facial Polishing Mask ($3.99, freemanbeauty.com)
Is your change purse that grandma gave you totally loving this? Good, because here’s another reason why you shouldn’t have to stoop to $10 for good quality skin care. So… do you use a face mask? ‘Cause, YO! If you don’t, your skin will become more of a train wreck than E!’s latest reality show. YIKES! With that scary visual in mind, I’m going to introduce you to the super AFFORDABLE Freeman Beauty line. Sure, a charcoal and black sugar mask sounds horror-movie-scary, but I swear on my Urban Decay Naked2 Palette that it’s really not. Once you pop this mask onto your face, watch those pissy pimples disappear before they have another spoiled diva temper tantrum.
Sinful Matte Topcoat ( $1.99, riteaid.com)
$1.99? I know, it’s a scandal! Wowza it’s an outrage. BUT seriously, why should you spend all your dough in just one place? Now I know you Gigglers love nails, and let me tell you that this topcoat is gonna rock your slipper socks off. Making your polish matte and mesmerizing, I can’t stop staring at my reflection in my shiny nails. Darn, if only I knew this sooner. Maybe I’d have more money for other duh-mazing colors.
LUSH Butterball Bath Bomb ($4.95, lushcosmetics.com)
Okay, baths kinda freak me out – NO JOKE! Maybe it’s because my shower looks like something out of a Hitchcock film. Yeah, I’m still trying to figure this one out. Anywho, this bath bomb makes bubbly-time a heck of a lot more tolerable ’cause it smells like vanilla buttercream (think yummy cupcakes) and it’s amazingly fun to watch it fizz into a creamy lather. Perfect for after a long day at the office, a tiring workout at the gym or screaming sessions at the TV when “Young and the Restless” is on, this bath bomb surely takes you to a sublime vanilla state of mind.
Yardley Soaps ($2.49-$2.99, drugstores nationwide)
Shower gals represent! If you want a Lady Mary Crawley clean, or if you simply want to pretend your life is as dramatic and glamorous as Downton Abbey, you gotta get these soaps. But don’t say I didn’t warn ya! Signing in the shower with a feigned British Accent is definitely an unintentional side effect.
LYPSYL Intense Protection ($2.99, riteaid.com)
Yeah, I’m a Burt’s Bees Addict, but these days things just aren’t the same anymore. I mean, life together was great. I loved that minty tingly sensation from that dear old tube of goodness, but here we are in an awkward state of separation and I’m kinda cheating on on my chapstick now! Didn’t I mention that I crush A LOT?
Sonia Kashuk Full Drama Eyelashes ($4.99, target.com)
You’ve got a squeaky clean face, bubble bath fun and matte beautiful nails. Now, what else could you possibly want, babycakes? YOOHOO! Makeup, of course! Now our homegirl Zooey Deschanel has some FIERCE lashes, girlfriend! Come on, you can’t tell me you can do one Google search without literally drooling over them. For thicker and fuller lashes a-la Zooey The Great, fake it with these budget-friendly Sonia Kashuk lashes. Oooohs and ahhhhs are totally welcome.
Topshop Eye Cream Duo in Wave Machine by Louise Grey ($4, topshop.com)
An eye shadow duo for $4? No, you’re not dreaming, this is totally real! Now, I’m usually a liquid liner-no shadow type of girl, but it’s always fun to change up my look every once and awhile. Cream shadows always are fun, so get those fingers messy with these shadow pots. It’s kinda like finger paint but so much funner. Oops! That’s not even a word, but it sounds sooooo awesome!
Colgate WISPS ($1.99, colgatewisp.com)
Lordy. Lordy. There is nothing WORSE than bad buggy breath. Yeah. Believe me, I can’t tell you how many times I’ve scared off a cute stranger with icky garlic breath. I like telling myself he was a vampire, but one check of the old breath and I know who’s the scary one. Since I can’t carry my cutie patootie SuperSmile toothbrush with me wherever I go, Colgate WISPS really have become this chica’s best friend. Brushing your chompers without water or toothpaste, (whoa! I know!) these little pick-me-ups have saved my ass too many times.
Hint Fizz Water ($1.79, drinkhint.com)
Ever since 2013 hit, it’s been such a pain in my tush to break up with soda. Yes I’m hopelessly addicted, but I realize that Mr. Coke can is just not that into me. Sigh. Wait a tick, I’m single again! Yup, you know what that means. New year, new drink! With zero calories and zero sugar, I just found my new main squeeze. Start packing Coke Zero. I won’t miss those soda-induced breakouts.
*Images Courtesy of: Clearisil, Freeman Beauty, Sinful Colors, Lush Cosmetics, Yardley Soaps, Lypsyl, Sonia Kashuk, Topshop, Colgate and Hint Fizz..
How do you stay Babelicious under $5? TELL ME! Seriously!