Are You There Blog? It's Me Caragh

How To Get Over Your Post-Vacation Blues

I’m not saying this is the ideal system, but I am saying this is the route I took.

  • Get home after your cross-country red eye flight. Immediately turn on your computer because you are addicted to the Internet and that is your normal routine when you get home from anywhere, whether it be class or Las Vegas.
  • Stare dumbly at social media sites as you slowly realize that the Internet doesn’t matter and you missed nothing by being without a laptop for 4 days.
  • Shut off computer.
  • Turn computer back on because maybe something happened on Facebook during the 14 seconds it takes for your computer to shut down.
  • Stand in the shower for 15 lifeless minutes until you realize where you are and how it is not in Las Vegas. Cry. Remember how the only time you cried in Las Vegas was at 7 in the morning, in the bathroom, after you had a beer with breakfast.
  • Fumble with large shampoo bottles. Have shampoo bottles always had such girth? Shake your fist at the realization that your travel sized companions are no longer with you. They were so cute, so helpful and it was fun to pretend to be a giant in need of a shampoo.
  • Step outside shower and remember that you have to wash your own towels now. There are no more maids to cleanse your fluffy, white clouds of cloth. There is only you, a washing machine and a handful of towels from Ocean State Job Lot that are covered in bleach marks. The ends are tattered and when they come out from the dryer, there is hair wrapped around the shredded ends.
  • Sit wet, cold and naked on your bed for 20 minutes while staring at your uneventful social media sites. Has the Internet always been this boring? Is this what happens to your life after you just spent half a week on the Las Vegas strip? Shut off computer.
  • Turn computer back on. Something is bound to happen on Tumblr and you will not miss it.
  • Don’t sleep for 20-something hours, despite being exhausted. Skip class the next day so you can focus on being depressed and tired in your pajamas. Congratulations, it is one month into the school semester and you have used up every single one of your absences.
  • Slowly regain the realization that you have responsibilities. As you crack open your school binder, reminisce about the week where your only responsibilities were to text your friends that you just saw Kevin Bacon and not to get arrested.
  • Shut your school binder and browse Facebook and Tumblr with that low level of consciousness that only shines through when you’re using the Internet. Realize that the only reason why the Internet excites you is because it is a great avoidance tool when dealing with real life responsibilities.