I know last week I said that today I was going to be featuring one of our readers’ Google searches, but unfortunately all the ones I got were either too inappropriate, too hard to write more than one sentence about or ones that literally made me think “Um???” Keep sending them in, though! I’ll keep an eye out for those that I can feature in my coming articles.
This week I thought I’d tell you about something I once Googled a long time ago. People often struggle with curiosity versus potentially invading someone’s privacy. I know I have at one point. I’ve always been a moderately private person who hates it when people ask too many questions about things I consider to be “personal” and I try as best as I can to respect others’ privacy as well. In fact, it doesn’t take much trying on my part at all when it comes to most friends or acquaintances. I’ve never really been curious to find out who is dating whom, how much money they’re making or pretty much anything people would not disclose under normal circumstances. People’s lives are their own. I don’t go seeking information about them or listening to gossip and repeating it. If I happen to accidentally stumble upon a piece of news about someone I know, I either forget about it five seconds later, get amused by it and then forget about it five seconds later or I don’t mentally register it to begin with. If you gave me someone’s journal for a day and told me they wrote their deepest darkest secrets in it, I’ll probably be too busy to care to even flip through it.
That being said, it’s obvious that your general level of curiosity would vary depending on your relationship with the person; the level of disclosure between you and an acquaintance or a not-so-close friend is far different from that between you and your best friend/partner. In that case, a little bit of curiosity is understandable. But how far is too far?
During one of my past relationships, curiosity got the best of me and I found myself randomly wondering if my boyfriend was being honest with me or if there was something he wasn’t telling me. I don’t know what triggered it. He had done nothing to make me suspect he might be hiding something. Might have been boredom, I don’t know. And what better way to snoop on somebody than to access their email account? Most people nowadays tend to dump their entire lives on the internet and it’s only a matter of knowing where to look.
Being the tech-challenged individual that I am, I decided to Google “How to find out your boyfriend’s password(s).” As usual, most of the results I got were Yahoo! Answers, which are super fun to read sometimes (because people who ask/answer questions on there are, for the most part, not part of the evolved human race).
There was The Good:
And The Idiot:
Almost all other results redirected to pages that went along the lines of “How To Find Out If Your Partner’s Cheating” and other related articles that made me rethink what I was doing. I never suspected he was cheating or got paranoid about how much he loved me or anything like that. I was just young and bored and I didn’t know better. I never went through with it. I’m not even sure I would’ve been able to (He was a super fast typer and I could never sneak a peek whenever he entered his password in front of me :() (I’m kidding). If I had my current boyfriend’s password, I’m not even sure I would use it. Maybe because I’m older and I understand that the need for privacy doesn’t imply that your partner is doing something he/she doesn’t want you to find out about. Privacy is a right. A previous boyfriend once asked to “exchange passwords” because it’s more “intimate”. I’m guessing he didn’t trust me, either. And whaddya know, we’re not together anymore.
It might also be illegal, according to that guy:
Is snooping worth your partner finding out and realizing that you don’t trust him/her and now he/she doesn’t trust you? If you find nothing worth being suspicious over, you could still be risking your entire relationship. Privacy is important in a relationship and the lack of it does not equal an increased level of intimacy. Two people being together should be about love and partnership, not about ownership or supervision.
If you and your partner’s relationship is real, you give him/her so much of you that trust and confidence are inevitable. You share almost everything, and so a person who trusts has no interest in prying into the very few parts of his/her partner’s life that are kept private. Without this, it’s just a teen infatuation and should be tossed to the dogs in favor of meaningless casual encounters. So yeah, mind your own business and have a great Thursday!
Photo by Rserit on Flickr.