Yes, I am a grown ass woman. Yes, I have a very “adult” job and yes, I still face bullies. Their tactics get more insidious as you get older but bullies are still out there. They may be long time players or they may just be hitting their bullying stride as people who were formerly victims and seeking revenge on the world. Regardless, they can be easily managed. I am so over them. Now get those Chumbawumba lyrics in your head and get ready to “get up again” with these simple pieces of armor.
1. All bullies have a weak spot.
Remember when Buffy finally had the “a ha!” moment with Turok Han, the ubervamps? Well, even they can be dusted. You just need to cut off his head. My point is not that you should cut off a bully’s head or kill him/her but simply that everyone has their vulnerable spot. This is comforting to know deep down when you are facing a bully. I repeat, do not try to literally cut off his/her head (just know that you could).
2. All bullies are afraid of something and usually that is what drives them to bully.
A prime example from my line of work is the fear a surgeon has that their patient will not do well. This causes them to occasionally come at me, their friendly (and super competent) anesthesiologist, in an “aggressive” manner. It is important to ignore their behavior and to address only their fear in the most reassuring way possible.
Bullies also commonly feel bad about themselves and thus need to knock you down. I know all of our parents told us this but I swear it’s true. Those pretty girls who try to make you feel ugly and nerdy? I guarantee you that they cry as they stare into the mirror for hours at home every now and then.
3. Bullies, like sharks, get super pumped when they smell blood.
I cannot emphasize enough how important it is to act totally unaware of any bullying being thrown your way. Much like some animals “play dead”, it is important to act rather bored when a bully comes at you. Not bored with a sassy teen attitude but just plain bored as in “nothing is happening right now”. If they see you un-phased, they quickly move on.
4. Bullies get confused when people are just nice to them.
It’s pretty true. They are used to people scurrying around, being scared. When they are addressed as a fellow mere human, they are often just stunned into submission. Asking them about their weekend, their hobbies, remembering something about their family… all of this stuns them into treating you like a human right back. At least for a bit.
5. Remember that rising above the conflict and bullying shenanigans is what makes the REAL badass. Bullying is easy; staying above it takes a strong person.
Enough said.
Boom. There you have it. You are a cool, level-headed badass. Now go enjoy feeling free from that nonsense! Bullying is so boring.
Image via blastr.com
Regards for all your efforts that you have put in this. Very interesting information.
I hope everyone is slaying some bullies! Would love to hear stories about standing up to them, you bad mamajamas! xoxo
Thank you so much for writing this. (: It’s nice to have that reminder. I was bullied a lot as a kid and never dealt with it well, but thankfully I’ve been able to react better (by not reacting) if it happens now that I’m an adult. Bullying IS boring.
This is even more awesome than the Buffy screen shot. LOVE IT
Absolutely loved this.Truth be told,I had to leave my previous job because I was being bullied by several vampires and the GM never cared (she was a bully herself) but I will carry this guide with me always.Thank you so much.
Great advice! And just think, in your head, “You have no power here! Be gone… before somebody drops a house on you!”
Adding to point #3, stay away from bullies when you are on your period, obviously.
yes! as a pre-kindergarten teacher i get bullied by parents who think they know my job better than i do on a pretty regular basis. i learned quickly this past school year just to pretend it wasn’t happening and to treat those parents with just as much civility as the rest, and they started being nice right back! great piece, thanks for writing it!
Thanks for writing this. Adult bullies are the saddest form of human.