There are certain things one learns about oneself with the passage of time. It is the trade off for a saggy bum and a slower metabolism.
For example, it is not in my nature to be sweet, but I can say with confidence that I am good-hearted and generous. I don’t gush. There is nothing about me that comes across as helpless, which sounds fabulous, but in reality means that people are reluctant to offer assistance. I am often too proud to ask for it and I end up feeling rather lonely. I have learned when to pick my battles. When retreat is the far less exhausting (and therefore far lovelier) option. I have learned that most of the time I would rather be happy than right. I know this, but I am stubborn so sometimes I do struggle with letting go of something that is not really that important.
What I am looking for now is a more genteel life. I want people to be nicer, obviously not just to me but to one another. I am disinclined to talk about politics or personal beliefs. When I was younger I wanted everyone to know exactly how I felt about everything. I am more reluctant now, to share my private thoughts. In other words, it’s all about manners.
This is one reason we created The Heatley Cliff. We might be silly on our show but we aren’t rude. We are trying to be ladies. What is a lady? A lady is tolerant, chic, punctual, reliable, affable, polite and generally, a very good listener. That said, I wouldn’t want any of you to think that we believe for one minute that men and women are somehow not equal. Never! But we do prescribe to the notion that the genders are different. I don’t want to mow the lawn or take the garbage out. Conversely, it would be downright unsettling if my husband suddenly wanted to sit around and drink tea, knit and talk about the gorgeous shoes I just got.
I don’t go to the bathroom in front of my husband. I don’t like getting ready for date night in front of him. I like making his tea every morning and setting it beside him. I enjoy it when after a dinner party the gentlemen present separate at some point during the evening. It’s not done purposely, but somehow all the ladies will find themselves on the deck or in the kitchen talking about things that quite frankly are not interesting to the menfolk, and vice versa. I celebrate these differences. I do not expect my husband to act like a lady. He is my best friend, but he cannot, and should not be expected to fulfill all of my emotional needs. That’s where my friends, ladies all, come into the picture.
I am not a blue blood. I am not an etiquette expert. In fact, in the past I did have some boundary issues. But then the internet came along, and everything changed. Can certain websites help one to become more lady like? Indeed!
This week at The Heatley Cliff, we discuss our favorite links and cyber destinations. Here’s a list of some we mentioned and some we didn’t. Bonne Chance and Happy Clicking!