Teaspoon of Happy

How Important Is It?

When you’re stung by something a friend or loved one has said. When you were right and he or she was wrong. When you told them so. Even when you have a really, really good reason to be mad, first and foremost, try to stop and consider: how important is it? Is it worth bringing up when you measure it against the potential outcome? Yes, you’re right, and wrongs deserve to be corrected, but sometimes it can cause you and those you care about more harm than good in the righting. That tiny voice inside us that needs to be right can drive us against our will into fights, stealing precious moments from our lives.

Often a need to be right or to stand up to others is a symptom of being self-protective. It might be because you have experienced something damaging early in your childhood or perhaps in the home you grew up in. It’s tough to do but if you can assume that people have the best intentions, often you are rewarded for thinking so. It’s a sign of maturity and confidence in yourself when you can step outside of a situation and say, “I am above this and even though I am right, I want to let it go. It’s not that big a deal.” What you do when you act with that level of maturity is show others the immaturity in themselves. You become a mirror of sorts, because your intentions lie truly in good.

The next time you have a problem with someone you care about, before you decide to confront them about it, give yourself permission to let it go. You can decide if you’d rather be above it. If it is not worth it to bring it up, decide that it will not bother you and then release it into the sky forever. Don’t let it come back again during a future discussion, as it has been discarded. It will not affect your relationship and it does not matter. If it comes back into your mind to haunt you, itching at you to be angry about it, tell yourself to “let it go, let it go,” and eventually it will float away. Don’t let it prevent you from enjoying your present with this person.

I know this is a “no duh” kind of premise, but it can easily slip from top of mind, especially when we’re mad. Even the smallest fights can obscure love and genuinely good intentions. They can also stop us from having wonderful experiences with those we care about. Little things like conversations, meals, holding someone’s hand, laughing together or even just sitting in each other’s company, quietly. Those little things are the proof of where a person’s soul lies, and they remind us of the real reasons we love those we love. Decide how many of those moments you want to keep, and how many you are willing to let go.

Happy Sunday, friends – my love to you all. I hope you have a wonderful day today. xox Sarah

Featured imageCopyright All rights reserved by Hugh Hill

  • http://www.facebook.com/amalia.pantazi Amalia Pantazi

    Hey Sarah :)
    My first reaction was to disagree. Because I’ve always been supressing things and “letting them go”, not being able to bear and definately not initiate a fight, or well, a confrontation. People do things that annoy me and hurt me; even my good friends, my family. It happens, right? I’ve never had the courage to rule those things out, so I’d always push them aside. But that did not do me much good. It made me bitter. So I’ve been working on a new attitude, that when sth bugs you, you have to get it out of your system, before it intoxicates you.
    After thinking about it for a while, though, I think I understood better what you mean. That we have to forgive. Really forgive. Put things into perspective and deliberately devoid ourselves of negative feelings such as anger. Because this is what love is about, and because life is too short to be mad at someone who means something to you. So yeah 😀
    However, I still believe that sometimes one just needs to throw a fit and that’s healthy, too. It defuses the tension!

    • http://www.facebook.com/sarahmaybee Sarah May Bates

      LOL Amalia you are very wise. I know what you mean cause i’m similar to you in that way. This little tidbit helped me a lot when I got super good at the expressing my anger on a regular basis. Sometimes it gets to a point when you’re like “why did I have to take that away from myself?” you know? But totally agree, it’s still a case by case basis for me: All about being able to honor what your heart needs and desires – and doing what’s best for yourself. (Which you sound good at :) ) x

  • http://www.facebook.com/marian.lunabuenrostro Marian Luna-Buenrostro

    My thoughts–I agree to let the small things go….sometimes you don’t have to say much, or say “I told you so”…when its clearly in their faces that they made a mistake…..it’s wiser to let go and help them save face…..however I do believe that when it’s truly important and it bothers you til no end, you should state your thoughts and feelings, and the reason behind why you are upset, however be cautious to just state and be honest, no one has ever been helped by being insulted or by using vulgar or hurtful words towards them…..then, let it go, and really forgive, holding on to it does no service to either party…. and always remember, most circumstances require a benefit of the doubt, most people will not delibrately do things to be vile….and you will come to see that all those thoughts that in the moment, you thought had other wicked intentions….were not remotely close to the truth…..

    • http://www.facebook.com/sarahmaybee Sarah May Bates

      I hear you Marian – and totally agree with you. It’s funny – I wrote another post a couple months back about expressing and owning all your feelings – and it almost seems to contradict this one but in truth, it’s about having a toolbox and knowing when to use em. I think you’re very right in what you say – never good to hold onto bitterness or pretend you’ve let something go when you haven’t. It’s also tough when you feel like you took something away from yourself because you “had” to be mad. I find it’s nice to give myself the choice to let it go or not cause often I choose to let it go. Thanks for your thoughtful comment! xoxo

  • http://www.facebook.com/elizabethdkim Liz Kim

    I like this article so very much. I also wanted to add that this should also be used for people that you don’t like as well. If more people took the approach of being the bigger person, I think the world be be a much more beautiful place.

    • http://www.facebook.com/sarahmaybee Sarah May Bates

      TRUE dat. xo

  • http://www.facebook.com/aurore.fontanelle Aurore Fontanelle

    Another great article ! Thanks Sarah, you’re the best !

    • http://www.facebook.com/sarahmaybee Sarah May Bates

      Thank you Aurore ! xox

  • Anonymous

    As I read this, all I thought was that this would have been of great use to me last week but I suppose it would be great for future use as well :)

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