When you’re stung by something a friend or loved one has said. When you were right and he or she was wrong. When you told them so. Even when you have a really, really good reason to be mad, first and foremost, try to stop and consider: how important is it? Is it worth bringing up when you measure it against the potential outcome? Yes, you’re right, and wrongs deserve to be corrected, but sometimes it can cause you and those you care about more harm than good in the righting. That tiny voice inside us that needs to be right can drive us against our will into fights, stealing precious moments from our lives.
Often a need to be right or to stand up to others is a symptom of being self-protective. It might be because you have experienced something damaging early in your childhood or perhaps in the home you grew up in. It’s tough to do but if you can assume that people have the best intentions, often you are rewarded for thinking so. It’s a sign of maturity and confidence in yourself when you can step outside of a situation and say, “I am above this and even though I am right, I want to let it go. It’s not that big a deal.” What you do when you act with that level of maturity is show others the immaturity in themselves. You become a mirror of sorts, because your intentions lie truly in good.
The next time you have a problem with someone you care about, before you decide to confront them about it, give yourself permission to let it go. You can decide if you’d rather be above it. If it is not worth it to bring it up, decide that it will not bother you and then release it into the sky forever. Don’t let it come back again during a future discussion, as it has been discarded. It will not affect your relationship and it does not matter. If it comes back into your mind to haunt you, itching at you to be angry about it, tell yourself to “let it go, let it go,” and eventually it will float away. Don’t let it prevent you from enjoying your present with this person.
I know this is a “no duh” kind of premise, but it can easily slip from top of mind, especially when we’re mad. Even the smallest fights can obscure love and genuinely good intentions. They can also stop us from having wonderful experiences with those we care about. Little things like conversations, meals, holding someone’s hand, laughing together or even just sitting in each other’s company, quietly. Those little things are the proof of where a person’s soul lies, and they remind us of the real reasons we love those we love. Decide how many of those moments you want to keep, and how many you are willing to let go.
Happy Sunday, friends – my love to you all. I hope you have a wonderful day today. xox Sarah