How I Learned to Stop Caring and <3 MyselfSade

I was like you once. The way I used to feel about myself almost entirely depended on what people thought of me. People I didn’t know, people I’ve never met, my best friends, my parents, my boyfriend and pathetic losers on the internet. They pretty much totally decided whether my self-esteem was at a Beyoncé level or a Britney circa-2009 level.

I dressed for other people. I didn’t have any sort of personal style whatsoever. Going to a BBQ with folks from work? Better wear that shirt one of my co-workers complimented me on once in May. I wanted people to like me, above all else. Even if I secretly thought they were kind of terrible human beings to begin with. I still wanted them to like me. And if they didn’t? Instead of chalking it up to them having a miserable outlook on life, I freaked out and mentally listed everything wrong with myself that could possibly have offended them. Is it because I’m trying so hard to be nice and it comes off as fake? Oh God, am I too fat to be liked by them? Is it because I sometimes have a lisp? Then one day, not too long ago, it happened – I honest to God stopped giving a damn. And it’s the healthiest thing I’ve done for myself in as long as I can remember.

The only people I need to like me are people I respect and love. People who get the privilege of knowing enough about me to put me in line when I’m not acting right. And those who choose to make judgments based on limited interactions with me? I could really not give less of a s**t how they feel about me either way, because at the end of the day, it doesn’t actually matter, you know? Like, who cares if the lady who works the reception desk at my job doesn’t like you? She probably hates half the people in your office and that really blows because do you realize how much energy it takes to have such strong, hateful opinions about so many people when you could just be chillin’?

I’m not saying I’m the queen of security, but I think I’ve just sort of adopted the idea that it’s easier to just do the ol’ Kanye shrug when people have a problem with how I handle myself than to try and convince them that I’m worthy of their approval. Especially when it’s like, who ARE they? I’m too busy hanging out and wearing my shades like B-) to care anymore. My life is pretty friggin’ great and right now, I refuse to focus on anything else. I suggest giving it a try, it might just end up being your new way of life, too.

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  1. I agree with you hunnie, I have been bullied my whole life then when I turned about 14 I stopped doing what they wanted me to do and did I wanted (died my hair all colours and started getting piercings) though the bullying carried on I eventually gave up with school but now I couldn’t care what people thought about me. I have an overbite and it’s not as bad as it used to be but I’ve got to have an operation on it and to be honest I think as soon as that process is over and done with I will finally be content with myself as that was one of the main reasons I was bullied.

    Stacey xxxx

  2. I <3 u and this.

  3. preach!

  4. brill! what a great post! thanks for sharing. hopefully one day soon i can feel like that. it must be so liberating! a lot of people have hurt me in my life and i sorta hid away thinking it would stop them hurting me more, but instead ive just lost all self esteem. time to start living like you said….. thank you. x

  5. Dang, I was hoping it would say how you came about not giving a damn! The first half of the article sounds like you ripped it out my journal. Maybe I should just rock my shades more. B-)

  6. Best advice I’ve received today. Thank you.

  7. I agree with Christine on the timing of this post. I’ve been worrying too much about trying to please everyone and it’s becoming physically and mentally exhausting. I just keep telling myself “If these aren’t people that I genuinely want to be around, then why care?”

  8. Gosh I wish I could just flip that switch like you did… I envy your current state of mind! Or shall I say “peace of mind” sigh… off to the grocery store where Im sure they guy behind me in line will be annoyed with me in someway (in my mind)

  9. love this article. I too share in your same philosophy and i just needed reminding. thanks. HAKUNA MATATA!!

  10. you are absolutely right… i realize I spend too much energy trying to have people like me rather than liking myself… thanks :)

  11. I really needed this today. Perfect timing. Thank you!!!

  12. Love this! If more people thought this way, they’d spend more time being happy & enjoying life!

  13. Love this article. I can relate. Lately, with so many physical, emotional & mental changes in my life lately, I can feel myself starting to feel this way too. I’m not as insecure as I once was, and I love this feeling. For some reason, I always felt that I couldn’t be enough of whatever people wanted me to be. Ya know? And now, I think, “Why in the hellz do I let what others think of me bother me so much?” Some people may not like me this way, but damn…I’m tired of being “that” girl because it seems to me, “That” girl is the one people always take advantage of the most. This is my life. It’s my time and I’ll do with what I want with it, when I want.

    This reminds me of the Dr. Seuss quote: “Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.”

  14. weee

  15. Word up! It is awesome not caring at all! After all you`re the most important person in your life :D Good for you!