I know incest is taboo and all, but what if you were so blindly in love with an uncle, specifically an Uncle Andy, that you threw caution to the wind and engaged in the-socially-cringe-worthy-unnatural-love for an uncle figure (namely Uncle Andy). Before you guys freak out, just know that I’m only getting faux-incestual. Luckily, this Uncle Andy isn’t really your uncle per se, he just plays one on television. In fact, Uncle Andy is more than just an uncle – he’s the brilliant Every-Uncle on Showtime’s hit series, WEEDS.
Played by redonkulously talented actor Justin Kirk, Andy Botwin is a nomadic, irresponsible, undependable, slightly selfish (like 100% slightly) yet compassionate, sarcastic, self-deprecating, cute, Jewish, idiot-savant-hero-character who has managed to capture this week’s honorary husband award simply because he is so husbandable: you’d be a fool not to husby-up with Andy (that’s my bro-equivalent for “wifey-up”). Now I’m sure some of you are wondering: why is Edward nominating a fictitious character with so many questionable qualities for the H.H.A.? And that’s a great question.
To answer that really quickly, I need to mathematically dissect the secret formula for a good marriage. Since we’re discussing “husband-material” here, it’s important to ask: what intrinsic qualities add up to make a man a good HelloGiggles “honorary husband”? The non-variable integers of a good husband are as follows: a good husband is honest + faithful + dependable + loving + passionate (that’s a polite synonym for “call [him] Mr. Flintstone, [he] can make your bed rock”) + strong+ (most importantly), FUNNY.
Funny is my main constant in any relationship. If a man can’t make me laugh, a man certainly can’t have my undying love and heart and soul and obsessive thoughts (24-7) and dedication forever (and ever). For this reason, Uncle Andy is this week’s honorary husband because even though he might leave you in a room full of Mexican assassins holding a crossbow to save himself or sarcastically jive his way out of committing to you after bedding you or feign slightly more interest in his Judaism to possibly bone a hot (female) Rabbi, Andy Botwin is seriously hilarious. And the man can cook, too! I can’t think of two more valuable qualities in a husband than: 1. FUNNY 2. CAN COOK.
Even HelloGiggles’ own resident gorgeous, talented goddess Miss Zooey Deschanel was so enraptured with Andy Botwin’s charm and wit that she drove all the way down from Alaska to Agrestic to find him (or at least her character Kat on WEEDS did). Although I’ve spent a lot of time focusing on the “character” Andy Botwin, it’s noteworthy to mention that the man behind Andy Botwin is seriously talented and complex as well.
Justin Kirk was nominated for an Emmy for his portrayal of Prior Walter in the screen version of Angels in America and he was also in the film and stage version of Love! Valour! Compassion!, which he received an Obie Award for. And he’s also super, super cute. Predictably, I already know what I would say if Justin Kirk/Andy Botwin and I ever met in person. I’d be like: “Hey Justin-Andy! You’re so talented and smart. Would you mind being yourself and saying something hilarious!?! OMG! That’s so funny (more LOLz)! KISS ME.” Okay, maybe I wouldn’t say all that but I would definitely tell him that he’s someone I’d husby-up. For all of these reasons, Uncle Andy-Justin Kirk is this week’s HelloGiggles Honorary Husband.
Photo courtesy of Sho.com