Holiday Gift Guides

Holiday Gift Guide for the Kid in All of Us

Even well into my adult years, I continue to enjoy products which are… not necessarily geared towards my age group. In the words of Fred Armisen as Joy Behar, “So what, who cares?” There’s nothing wrong with being a big kid and having fun with all the stuff that made us smile as young people. This holiday season, embrace your inner child with these fun goodies.

Cupcake scented pencils

Whaaaat? Everyone and their brother loves cupcakes and incidentally, I also like to torture myself, so what could be better than smelling cupcakes all day without actually having any to eat? $5.95,

World’s Largest Gummy Bear

Nothing says childhood and Christmas like a diabetic coma, n’est-ce pas? Equal to 1,400 regular-sized gummy bears and worth a terrifying 6,120 calories, this thing probably isn’t even very good, but it IS cool. $29.99,

Bonehead comb

Things that are awesome without question: dinosaurs and having a  slick ‘do. Hit two birds with one stone with this amazing dinosaur comb. I would carry this everywhere with me and if anyone gave me a weird and/or inquisitive look, I’d just be like, “Yeah, you know. T-Rex, eh?” and kind of smirk. That dinosaur skull most definitely does not belong to a T-Rex, but if someone is terrible enough to have a problem with something so cool in the first place, they probably won’t notice the difference. $5.99,

Ms Food Face plate

“Don’t play with your food!” people will often tell you. Yeah? Well… you don’t play with good taste by not getting me this plate, I say! What could be better than organising your dinner over a face to create a variety of ridiculous and super silly looks? The answer is “nothing”, by the way. $11.99,

RC controlled flying shark

I’ve had a lifelong interest in dirigibles (not really) and sharks (nope, totally not) so combining the two seems like the most genius idea ever. I’m not sure what I’d actually DO with a remote-controlled flying shark, but maybe that’s my problem. I should keep it simple and realise that, hey, all you gotta do is fly it, man. $39.99,

Star Theatre Pro Home Planetarium

One thing I have been obsessed with my whole life is the planetarium. The last time I went to the Natural History Museum (we’re talking years ago, here), I cried. I’m just in awe of the majesty of the universe and seeing it all so intensely like that is emotional. What can I say? I’m weird. Unfortunately, living in a major city doesn’t really allow you to get your stargaze on, so the next best thing is an at-home planetarium, right? I mean… right? $169.99,


If you didn’t play this game growing up, you’re buggin’. Everyone knows that Candyland beat out even Chutes & Ladders (Snakes & Ladders, for my non-American crowd) in the awesome department. The colours are great, the game is – from what I can remember, anyway – engaging enough and hello, it’s about candy. Enough said. $5.99,

Astronaut Ice Cream

Sure, astronaut ice cream is one of those things that tastes better in your memory than it does in actuality, but so what! It’s freeze-dried ice cream, just like the astronauts eat in space! Incidentally, you can buy a whole pint of real, tasty ice cream for less than a package of this stuff, but it’s all about the novelty. I still get cravings for this stuff once or twice a year but I haven’t had it in ages. Let’s all cry together… or just buy some now. Pro tip: the ice cream sandwich is the jump-off. $3.99,

Novelty Tattoo Sleeve

I’m not a massive tattoo freak. I have a few myself and can admire well-done artwork on others, but there’s no way in hell I’d ever get a sleeve. I couldn’t even carry it off even if I did want one. However, I’m one of those a-holes who thinks stupid pranks like this are hilarious, and I’d totally wear this if I was going to see a friend or family member that I hadn’t in ages. “So, how have you been?” I’d ask nonchalantly as I took off my jacket, revealing my ink. Laughs for days! Or at least a good fifteen seconds. $9.99,