I have a problem. I’m a Bejewelled Blitz addict. It all started as such innocent fun. I mean, I was just looking for a decent iphone game, and I only downloaded it because it was free and I’m cheap. I wanted something to play on the subway, but I had no idea how dangerous one little app could be. This game is the perfect storm. Each round you play is a mere 60 seconds, so it seems totally harmless to open this little app and play a round or two. The problem lies in my lack of self control.
When I play a round of Bejewlled Blitz, I want to play another. The app not only keeps track of your score, but compares you to all of your facebook friend’s scores as well. That is bad news for anyone with a competitive streak. So if I play a round and do poorly, I have to play another to make up for it. If I get a high score, I only want to best myself again. I can only assume this is the same state of mind hard core drug addicts develop. Now this isn’t the first time I’ve found a game too enticing to resist – Fruit Ninja and Robot Unicorn served as my gateway drugs into the world of life consuming iphone gaming. But BB was special. Things would be different this time.
For a while everything went a long fine, but a few months in, things started to worsen. I would play BB during meals, during phone conversations, while my husbs and I watched Mad Men, basically any time I could. I compulsively made sure to get my free spin to win coins for the game every day. I even started dreaming about BB.
My wake up call finally came when I received the following facebook message from my lovely Grandmother-In-Law (Hey Grandma Jane!): Way to go = in bejewelled!!! Hard to beat that score!
This was what you might call the ‘moment of truth’ that shook me out of my bejewelled haze. I was literally playing so much BB that people were taking notice and congratulating me. How much time had I been wasting on the Blitz that I could/should have been spending on other endeavours? Working on my play, making art, working out(yeah right), writing, actually reading Wuthering Heights(a goal I’ve had for approximately 10 years and have yet to accomplish)?! I thanked Grandma Jane for her message, and with a newfound determination to rid myself of this distraction, went on one final binge. I used up the 200,000 coins I’d accumulated on the game. Bested my top score by a mile, and even beat out that annoying guy from Facebook who had consistently topped my score. And then like Fruit Ninja and Robot Unicorn before it, I deleted the game from my phone, sending it to the farm upstate where discarded apps get to run around in big fields and spend more time outside.
So if you have time to kill, in addition to BB, these are the five games I would recommend you download for your phone as soon as possible.
1. Fruit Ninja
If you own an iPhone, and don’t have Fruit Ninja on it shame on you. Although this is a risky a purchase as Bejewelled Blitz, aka highly addictive.
2. Robot Unicorn
This game costs a measly 99 cents and is an extremely simple premise. The short games also make it ideal for entertainment in waiting rooms or on public transportation. (Or private transportation if you’re like, a movie star.)
3.PLANTS VS ZOMBIES
The four year old boy I sometimes babysit introduced me to this game – ideal for an iPad but also available for your phone. You raise plants that defend your home against zombies in an epic horticultural battle. It’s more fun that it sounds.
This full game is fantastic for computer or iPad, but the mobile version also does the job. A time-management game where you wait tables. Ironic to play if you are also an actual server in real life. Many other versions are also available including Cooking Dash, Wedding Dash and Hotel Dash. Be careful, these can take over your life.
If you’re looking for a longer term game, this one is pretty awesome. You become a Chocolate manufacturer in the 1800s, run factories, visit tropical locations to buy ingredients. The long version for computer is also fantastic. If you liked computer games like Roller Coaster Tycoon, this one is for you.
So there are my top picks for time-wasters. There are also books, snacks and hobbies. But those just don’t seem to fill the same void for us children of the ’80s and ’90s raised on N64 and Sega and computer games on floppy disk.
If I ever learn to enjoy games responsibly, I hope to one day play a casual game of Bejewelled Blitz again. Until then I will try to be content knowing that with that little 60-second game out of life, I have a much greater chance of being a contributing member of society. Or at least, you know, doing my laundry.
Kristy LaPointe is an Actress and Writer based out of Toronto, Canada. She also writes for various magazines and websites including She Does The City and HelloGiggles, is obsessed with the idea of foam clubs, and once taught a Lego class for eight year old boys. Kristy shares custody of a blog with her BFF at adeleandkristy.tumblr.comand spends far too much time on twitter @kristylapointe.