I don’t know why I do it. I really don’t. The red flags are there. My mom’s googly eyes are there peering at me, going, “You know this is going to hurt you in the end.” And regardless of how many times I have been listening to Taylor’s Swift’s “I Knew You Were Trouble When You Walked In” on repeat, I can’t get the message in my dang head.
But alas, I am still going for the gold. Full throttle. No looking back. Headed into a direction I know will only lead to tears and heartbreak and miscommunication. Why? Because it’s, well… exciting. Fun. New. Fascinating, even. Time and time again we find ourselves in relationships that are magical, safe and fulfill our every bucket list need that on our imaginary pros and cons worksheet and we sometimes we forget that it’s just blah after a few months. Blah after a few years. And blah after an entire lifetime. I mean, that’s not all cases, but it’s pretty close.
And then other times, we go wild. WILD. Looking for the complete opposite of what makes us swoon and feel and cry and love. That I can equate with celebrity relationships that were rather tumultuous. Where everyone around you is going, “Why? Why are you with him? Why are you doing this to yourself? It is only going to end up in heartbreak.” Well, maybe that’s just it, you see. Maybe we need – or better, crave – the heartbreak. The risk. We want to see if the stove is hot on our own. Even though everyone else told you it was hot, we must see on our own if it burns our flesh so raw that we choose to never touch it again. And, if you are anything like me…you will touch that sucker time and time again because you want to be the exception to the rule.
I don’t know. I wish there was a pill I could swallow to eliminate my want and need for adventure and risk in the “like” department but, there isn’t one that doesn’t rhyme with the word “Poofie.” But for now, you will just have to wait on baited breath to see if my head explodes from another guy that’s “trouble”.
Image via Maker Studios
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