When I was a young thing, my mom always used to say to me, “Molly, if you can’t do the small jobs, you can’t do the big jobs.” I moved three thousand miles away from her because of s**t like that, but I guess she had a point. You see, someone’s gotta do the small jobs, the day-to-day stuff, for all the folks who do the big jobs, like myself (professional TV writer– syndicated– and tech diva) and Hollywood legend Jarrad Paul (as if I need to tell you why you know his sweet, sweet name).
I figure that a lot of you reading HelloGiggles are aspirational types – I can’t be sure, I’ll have one of my interns look into the stats on this post later – and probably looking for ways to break into the greatest industry in the world, just like me or Jarrad Paul or George Lucas or Sofia Vergara or anyone whose name’s on your brain.
I decided to ask someone recently semi-successful (read: much less experienced/jaded/”over it all” than me), a “Michael” or “Jeff” type (LOL, it’s a call-forward, you’ll get it later) to grant me an interview about what it’s like to be hungry in Hollywood, what it feels like to be around fame and power and money and sex while OMG, GIRL, you are just trying to pay your rent and keep your bangs fitted.
I don’t want to write any more and I don’t want to go back and delete anything because I only write one draft for the Internet (I make money from writing) and I completely forgot where I was going with this so I’ll just tell you that you’re about to read an interview with Jarrad Paul’s newest assistant (AKA “fresh meat” LOL!) Caylee Mintzer, who you probably already know as @JarradPaulAsst on Twitter. She’s become pretty popular on there ever since Jarrad got overwhelmed with projects and meetings and flights and stuff and had to ask her to take over all his social media, but it so hasn’t gone to her head.
Describe a day in the life of working for Jarrad Paul. Is it as hectic as one would imagine?
Okay, first off, thank you so much for interviewing me! HelloGiggles is, like, my favorite website ever. Hi, Zooey!!! Okay, sorry here’s my answer…
OMG times, like, a thousand. I get up at 4:45am everyday and drive to his apartment in Thousand Oaks to wake him up in person (he doesn’t like alarms or phones). Then it’s mainly driving him, making calls, tweeting, going to the bank and arguing with the people there, etc. But I get to watch him work, which is just an incredible experience. Sure, he can be abusive… misogynistic, racist and cheap, but he’s also brilliant and friends with so many celebrities, so it’s worth it. My day ends around 9pm and then I get to do whatever, hang with friends, go to birthday parties…
Birthday parties are my lifeblood. Honestly so fun. So, girl, spill everything. How’d you get the gig?
I was at my friend Meghann’s birthday party and she introduced me to Jarrad’s best friend/muse Ian Somerhalder (and basically everyone knows he’s the gatekeeper to my boss). Long story short, I did some favors for Ian and then he put in a good word with Jarrad.
Somerhalder. I die. Tell us something about Jarrad that might surprise us.
He actually does have friends that aren’t famous. Two of them, Michael and Jeff. They’re like just regular people. I mean, Jarrad doesn’t go to their houses or anything, but he invites them to stuff and texts them.
That’s really surprising. I hope Michael and Jeff “take it all in” when they’re with Jarrad. What about you? Do you ever stop and think, “Oh my God, I can’t believe I get to do this?”
Every. Single. Day. I really do feel like I’m doing something important. And like, there are haters who say things like, “Why does this moron need an assistant? He doesn’t do anything!” They just don’t get it. Sure, there are a lot of people [outside of this business] who are very successful and they don’t have assistants. But actors and producers and people like that, they’re creative and they need to be able to tell people that they have one, you know?
Oh, I know. Be legit for reals, CayCay–How long do you see yourself working as an assistant? What’s your career dream?
I want to work for Jarrad for as a long as he’ll let me. Honestly, I used to have goals beyond this but Jarrad convinced me that working for him is better than any of them. And he’s so right!
Duh! You don’t become hugely successful by being wrong, which is totally different than being quirky, which is something we’re obsessed with at HelloGiggles. It’s our lifeblood. What makes you quirky?
My nails and my style.
Your nails popped at upfronts this year, it’s true. Soooo… I have to ask: Is there any dish about Jarrad’s personal life you can give us? I know you’ve got a story or two.
I can’t, he’ll kill me! Off the record, I’ll just say that he hooks up a lot and with really hot and famous girls. He would never want that getting out there, though. That these girls, like, throw themselves at him. All the time. He’s super embarrassed by it.
Ahhh! Girl! I’m blushing! Next question! What would be your advice to anyone who wants to be the professional assistant to a high power Hollywood type?
I would say to be hot and go to birthday parties and don’t be strong or think you’re destined for anything better. That’s where a lot of young girls go wrong, I think. They’re not hot and they think, like, “I want to write or produce stuff.” They just have the wrong outlook, you know?
Babe, that is the truest f***ing thing I have ever heard. You got a lil’ brain somewhere in that cute face. Tell me more, what’s your motto?
It’s something Jarrad says to me everyday: “A #2 pencil and a dream can take you anywhere.”
Thanks, Caylee! Good luck out there in Hollywood/the Twitterverse, and can you please schedule a lunch with Jarrad and I in the garden at SoHo House (West Hollywood)? Throw out some times, maybe we can hook something up before November if I pass on that movie and my agents don’t keep driving me crazy about writing a book. Email Tori. Thanks. XOXOX
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